Everyday Bliss

@DesWalsh, Australian blogger of note has had a master stroke of genius. We were talking about #ThomasLeonard the other day and how he would have embraced social media. Probably been part-owner of something like Twitter only next gen. And Des says “What do you think about us coaches getting together and talking on Twitter like we did when Thomas was around?”

I said I thought it would be fantastic and why didn’t he go ahead and do that, and somehow @andymatic’s Andy Wibbels got involved and we both goaded Des into it.

So be there or be square, tune your TweetDeck to #coachchat on MONDAYS at 6pm Pacific (San Francisco) Time. If it catches on, it could become a regular thing. With your participation! So, what do you want to ask a bunch of seasoned coaches? What seasoning do you yourself have to put in the pot? Got a sticky client situation? Ethics issue? Cool new technique you love? Come talk about it!

You can read all about it on Des’s blog:

http://deswalsh.com/2010/07/29/launching-new-twitter-chat-stream-for-coaches-coachchat/

And I’ll be tuning in and throwing my saucy tuppenny into the ratatouille.

Speaking of Ratatouille, have you seen my recipe for my Parisian slimming masterpiece and darned good nosh, Rat-a-tat-touille? It’s on Facebook.

That’s Where I Have A Harvest Gift For You

Are we Facebook friends yet? If you friend me on Facebook, not only will we have the opportunity to chat (one great way is through photo comments), but you’ll get FREE TRAINING in how to make great tasting, Gourmet Gluten-Free Food in the Photo Essays just waiting for you in “The Arcane Foodie”. When you friend me, you can click these links and get total access to over 100 pages of recipes, like this “French Country Picnic” below:

In the FREE “Arcane Foodie” Eat-Right Gourmet Training: http://bit.ly/ArcaneFoodieFB

The infamous Rat-a-tat-touille Recipe & key to my
weightloss success, straight from my Paris kitchen:

http://bit.ly/Rat-a-tat-touille

You see here carrots, yellow onion, rocambole garlic, green onion, shallot, apple, green garlic, cabbage, tomato, mushroom, celery, cilantro…and whatever else is rattling around the veggie baskets. Rat-a-tat-touille means “clean the ‘fridge”.

Recipe instructions are below pictures on all the pages. You can follow a recipe’s progression as they are labelled “1, 2, 3″ in sequence.

WHY am I giving you this particular gift?

Because most people are having a funny relationship with food. And these are what are keeping me fit, trim, losing weight and truly enjoying what I prepare and eat. So it makes sense that it would be a really good thing to spread around. Tell your friends they can get their great healthy recipes here too! There’s room for everyone… 

Top Eating Right Tip: The less complicated food we put in our bodies, the more fiber and water content such as vegetables, the happier and healthier our bodies tend to be.

Another Harvest Gift for you
Snackin’ Right Gluten-Free Quito Road Guacamole

Put together with some gluten-free corn tortilla chips and snarf, muflnt, grmumfllle…..mmm… Your Aunt Lupita never
made it so good. You know I’m right. 

And finally, for the sweet-toothed, especially all
you women, we have the blissfully delicious

Gluten-Free Chocolat Pain de  Femme
Croissant pour mon chere amie Marie-Odile:

Pure Chocolate Lover’s PrOn: Midway through mixing, when the chocolate ganache (not Ganesh) is just starting to incorporate…

Chocolat Pain de Femme Croissant pour Marie-Odile #6

The ganache, mixed, will be slightly pebbly in texture but this tiny dusting of bits will melt into each other in the oven. Don’t stress about ‘em. Look at that surface sheen.

Great for spreading a soothing balm over those certain days of the month. Like Every Day.

Mmm, yes lord. Yes.

I hope you enjoy these heartfelt food reviews
and recipes to help you flow the Ease,
Grace, Joy & Eating Right Lifestyle!

Let me know what you’d like to see
and I’ll do my best to put it up at
The Arcane Foodie…

From the always-wonderful Diane Cesa’s “Everything Yoga” blog, comes the following. You should know about this and she’s even offering a free gift card for registering your pledge! You can see my pledge at right or read it on Diane’s blog (see below)…

National Women’s Health Week

May 9-15 is National Women’s Health Week. This year’s theme is “It’s Your Time,” and this nationwide initiative is encouraging women to take simple steps for a longer, healthier, and happier life. Important steps include:

• Getting at least 2 hours and 30 minutes of moderate physical activity, 1 hour and 15 minutes of vigorous physical activity, or a combination of both each week
• Eating a nutritious diet
• Visiting a health care professional to receive regular checkups and preventive screenings
• Avoiding risky behaviors, such as smoking and not wearing a seatbelt
• Paying attention to mental health, including getting enough sleep and managing stress

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Maryam’s Note:

I’m sending out a challenge too. Commit to your own health in the following week, month and year – and if that seems an impossible task, I’ll be sharing lessons from our “Do The Impossible” Program to help you really, truly get in your own groove.

Fill in the form to get an Earlybird Key when the Program is opened to the public, plus cool deets on life in Paris, gluten-free recipes and more in my new-direction newsletter (current subscribers, you’ll get it automatically):

Ease, Grace, and Joy:

“How to Do The Impossible in YOUR Life”

Name
Email

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Diane goes on to give us some really great information on Better Homes & Gardens magazine’s health pledge, and her own REALLY GENEROUS OFFER to give you a gift certificate….I’m cutting a few juicy paragraphs to the chase, but the links below go to Diane’s blog where you can absolutely take her up on her offer. Check it out:

Set an Intention to Make a Small Change

A great way to solidify your intention is to write it out. The folks over at GE are offering the perfect way in which to do this via their Pledge for Better Health Web site. It’s simple — go to Pledge for Better Health and write in your pledge along with your first name and your zip code. If you’re looking for inspiration, check out the interactive map and see what women from all over the country are doing to improve their health.

Make a Pledge and Win a $20 Gift Card

Note From Maryam: You need to go to Diane’s blog to read this part, because she’d like to get as many people as possible the make a pledge for better health. As a little inspiration, Diane is offering a $20 gift card to a random pledger. Make your Pledge for Better Health here and then add your pledge link to the comments section of (Diane Cesa’s original post). On May 9th, she’ll randomly choose one person to receive a $20 GE Healthymagination-themed gift card. How COOL is that? Y’all go comment now, don’t let mine be the weirdest comment there. 

Diane continues:

Healthy Suggestions

What can you do for yourself to be healthier? Why not:

• Add more greens to your diet
• Cut out fast food/Soda/Sweets from your diet
• Meditate for 15 minutes a day
• Practice yoga for 20 minutes a day
• Take the stairs instead of using the elevator
• Do jumping jacks during commercial breaks while you’re watching your favorite TV show
• Do a cleanse
• Walk during your lunch break
• Get an extra half hour of sleep a night

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This is exactly what I advocate and really good advice. You really need to read Diane’s whole article, and also check out her entire blog. I check in with her a few times a week and am always glad I did. Add the “Everything Yoga” blog to your daily RSS feed for good living and healthy-you information, right in your mailbox!

If you haven’t yet encountered Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT, you’re in for a treat. If you’re an old hand, you’ll still enjoy this “spiritual documentary” (a la “The Secret”) style introduction to what EFT can do, and features some of my most esteemed colleagues. Really beautiful work – pass this one along to your friends and families. And, as Gary is retiring March 1st and has said he will be taking his website down, if the link at the end no longer works, you can download a free “EFT Quickstart” from me, here (will open in a new window)

http://maryamwebster.com/eftbasics/

EFT Works Great for Pain

I know. I used it to help me end years of chronic pain from a broken back, and to heal those tissues and  even grow new bone. Oh yes, you really can. EFT is a really great introduction to energy magic for people of all ages, cultures and belief systems. Pass this one on too. You can use a sophisticated Energy Coaching technique called “Borrowing Benefits” to tap along with Gary here as the pain is tapped out. Just think of your own pain for a moment, then let it go and use the lady’s set-up phrasing and reminder phrases. Tap right along. Get over it.

GREAT back pain release video

This one is from Robert Smith. He’s a wonderfully intuitive EFT practitioner and teacher. Beautiful NLP related interventions and submodality shifting for you NLPers in the community. Enjoy this video and especially if you had back pain like I did, this will be a welcome relief. Again Borrow Benefits, as you tap along with Robert and the lady with horse related issues…and a big pain in her back that goes away in a really interesting process:

Can KIDS do EFT? You bet’cha! (they’re a lot smarter than we are, y’know?)

I’ve taught children young as four how to tap with EFT and though I don’t have one, I highly recommend a Tappy Bear.  (I turned my childhood bear into such a happy tapping guide a few years ago) They’re the BOMB for teaching EFT to kids! Enjoy this wonderful video from Karin Gustafson teaching a little boy how to tap with a homemade tapping bear. The giggles alone are worth listening – and Borrowing Benefits – through the whole video. For those who don’t resonate to “I’m a good boy” – “I’m okay and feel grrrrreat!” is a good substitute.

I do this breast health routine every day. If this is your first encounter with energy therapies, this is a good one to start with as the Triple Thump Plus will not only clear stagnant lymph fluid that can accumulate in and near the breasts and properly energize your breast tissue, but will boost your immunity in general. Want to not have colds or flu? Do this one every single day. Sitting on the toilet? Thump your chest. Takes no time at all. K27, the collarbone point is also good for jogging memory, waking up when driving late and night and for kids in class to remember what they’re studying. This is noted by the great energy healer Donna Eden, whose two videos on this process I include below.

Of interest to women: Doctors often recommend lymphatic massage for women with breast disorders to keep fluids and toxins from building up. The Triple Thump is a safe form of self-massage on the lymph tissue that will help keep breasts healthy! And it is believed, may also help to prevent breast cancer. All that for just a few minutes a day – how much simple could it be?

The Triple Thump *Plus*

Thumping on these three places instantly changes the vibratory energy signature of stress (which is a frequency, like a radio station you can tune into) and flushes your lymphatic fluid which drains stress away from the body. Do the Triple Thump whenever you feel stressed during your day – it’s a great one to energize your wakeup period with too! Be sure to drink lots of water when you do these exercises, to help flush stress hormones out of the body.

1) Find the spots on the model above that say “Collarbone”. These are the 27th point on the Kidney meridian in acupuncture. These are a little below and underneath your collarbone at the “L” where it attaches to your sternum, or breastbone. Put two fingers in this area on both sides of your body and gently thump ten times or massage these spots. They may be sore, and if so, need a good working out as this is where stress hormones accumulate!

2) Next go to the “Thymus Point” which is right on the center of the breastbone, about two inches down from the v-notch at your collarbone. Thump ten times or massage here, using a few fingers.

3) Third in the traditional Triple Thump are the “Underarm points”, below where your armpit hair area ends on the side of the body and one rib-width beneath where where a woman’s bra elastic would end (see above – on the model above the mark is a little high. Feel around for what’s sore – yes, that’s it. Thump both of these two points briskly as well – I use a gently closed fist – to clear the lymph system.

Plus Size It

To “plus” this process to encourage healthy breasts, just add in the Sore Spot neurolymphatic points on either side of the chest above the breasts (see model above or watch Eden’s videos below) and the Under Breast points, underneath the breast tissue, beneath the crease under the breast and on top of the rib below that crease. Since these points are tiny, use the entire side of your hand (like karate-chopping – but gently!) to thump here ten times, or use the soft pads of your fingers to massage the area if it’s sore. This “Plus” addition completely surrounds the breast with clearing and encourages the body’s energy systems to pulse clean energy through the breast area.

Here’s stellar energy healer Donna Eden showing you how to do the triple thump basic move:

This story begins with a sleepy if fascinating conversation with my late night study-buddy, Jan. We’re both night owls working on decoding certain levels of human experience that we wish to be able to change, enhance or amplify. Among my peers, he’s one of only a handful who really gets the more arcane things I’m into. And like few others, he always tells me something I never knew before which sparks intense debate, discussion, learning and more research.

Being a wizardly sort, Jan lives in Berkeley. If you’re a magically gifted world-changer in the San Francisco Bay area, and need help changing yourself, he’s definitely your man. I give him my highest recommendation and you a referral to his website here for more information.

A Little Night Music…

This particular evening, Jan was speaking of immortality and mentioned the cancer cells of Henrietta Lacks, branded “HeLa” cells by scientists. I’d never heard of Henrietta nor her world famous cell cultures and finding out about them makes me want to spread the word rather like HeLa cells have spread…worldwide.

Henrietta Lacks was a homemaker living in Baltimore in 1951 when she was diagnosed with, and died of, virulent cervical cancer. During diagnosis, cells were taken from her tumor without her knowledge or consent and grown in some of medical science’s first cancer cell research.

Researchers found that HeLa cells had extraordinary properties. Unlike cells from other donors, they grew on everything. They grew out of control. They consumed the growth medium in their test tubes and Petri dishes and grew outside of them to infect lab equipment, entire labs and finally, the world. HeLa cells can survive freezing, dehydration, starvation, radiation and deep space. They are known to be virtually indestructible.

(There could quite literally be some of Henrietta Lacks in that glass you’re drinking from, right now. Mind that small speck
on the rim there. Yes…that one.)

Because these were the first cells to be cultured for study, labs across the world wanted samples, which were grown and shipped to Russia, Paris, Chile, Amsterdam, London, Reykjavik and many other labs. And from there due to their extraordinary growth properties, they spread outward like a virus, worldwide.

HeLa cells were used to first culture then find the cure for polio and other diseases. They have learned to masquerade as cells from different parts of the body, and even as different diseases. In one notable incident, documented by author Harold Schmeck, American medical researchers had the unenviable task of notifying

“…Soviet scientists that the cells in which their viruses were growing were not even derived from Russian cancer patients. The cells actually originated from Henrietta Lacks…”

This interesting yet devastating property of HeLa meant that worldwide, contamination needed to be assumed, studies needed to be trashed, intense cleanroom protocols needed to be established and millions of dollars of research had to be done all over again. A commission was formed to contain the spread of HeLa, and today, genetic sequencing ensures the purity of research from HeLa contamination.

Now that you know some of the background, we’ll be picking up this thread in later posts. As Jan and I debated, immortality is in the eye of the beholder – be it the individual or the collective. But for now…

Enter the Goddess…

Crazy? No. While this may all sound like science fiction, it is most assuredly science fact. Though the woman herself perished, her cells have achieved true immortality. HeLa just can’t be stopped, so in a way, Henrietta Lacks has become the first known modern Immortal.

And in an interesting twist which brings in threads of my history in Northern European shamanism, Hela is also the name of the Nordic goddess of the Dead. She is many things but poignantly, presides over the realm of those who died disenfranchised, of disease or old age – not honorably as the ancients would have had it, in battle.

The Norse feared a death at Hela’s hands. In Odin’s realm of Valholl (Valhalla), a warrior would fight the good fight all day, eat, drink and carouse with comrades all night. What more could one want in the afterlife? Helheim was comparatively boring, and decrepitude was a dishonorable estate for one who previously went a-viking. The famous poet-warrior and Paget’s disease sufferer, Egill Skallagrimsson wrote bitterly in his old age, of relegation to shivering by the hearth, subject to the whims of mere women (in this case, his cook):

‘Old haltered horse I waver,
Bald-head I weakly fall:
Hollow my failing leg-bones,
The fount of hearing dry.
Blind near the blaze I wander,
Beg of the fire-maid pardon,
Crave for a seat. Such sorrow
From sightless eyes I bear…’

Though he feared Hela and what he would have seen as death without honor, Egill welcomed her embrace when family and peers began to die. In Sona Torrek, after the death and interment at Digra-ness (the Skallagrim burial mound) of his son Bodvar, Egill writes:

‘Hard am I beset;
Whom Hela, the sister
Of Odin’s fell captive,
On Digra-ness waits.
Yet shall I gladly
With right good welcome
Dauntless in bearing
Her death-blow bide.’

(citation: W. C. Green, 1893, Kings College, Cambridge)

Hela is typically depicted, as in this image by the artist Thorskegga Thorn, as half white, living, and half black, dead. Nordic shamans befriend Hela and go through the death experience yet live to gain great knowledge for the Well of Wyrd (meaning Fate, and All-That-Is) lies in her underground realm. The parallels to the contemporary HeLa phenomenon are uncanny, and perhaps no coincidence.

Goddess, thy name is Henrietta Lacks.

Which brings me to the main theme of this afternoon’s symposium:

In what ways will you achieve True Immortality?

I’m not talking cellular immortality (which includes having children) but other ways. What will you leave behind you that will go on after your macrobody ceases to exist?

• As the great philosophers, what immortal thoughts, questions and other cognitions will you leave behind?
• As the developers of cures, what patterns or processes that help others will you bequeath the world?
• What other things will survive you – perhaps forever?

Here is a place to let the world know, and get the word out about the value you will leave beyond your physical death. You can do that in the comment form below and we can continue this most interesting and provocative discussion…

(For 3-way Natural No-Junk Deodorant recipe, scroll to the bottom)

In my unending quest for a natural, junk-and-aluminum-free deodorant, I’ve tried them all. None work past a few hours which is basically what I would get with soap and water alone. Recently a friend clued me to the otherwise-pristine Tom’s Of Maine product, “Natural Long-Lasting Care 12 Hour Odor Protection Aluminum-Free Deodorant Stick”. This stick smells like Lemondrop candy and contains both lemongrass and hops to inhibit odor-causing bacteria. And it works like a charm, up into the next day.

But wait a minute shoppers, the first ingredient is propylene glycol, which is a potential poison. Propylene Glycol is chemically related to ethylene glycol, the syrupy ingredient in antifreeze and is used as a less-toxic antifreeze itself – it’s that pink stuff you’ve seen hosed over your winter flight to de-ice wings of the plane.

Saving lives that way = great. But “PG” as it is often noted in ingredient listings, has been directly implicated in cases of iatrogenic renal toxicity (1) when used as a carrier for intravenous solutions. And skin contact causes “…moderate skin irritation. Contact with the skin may cause erythema, dryness, and defatting” (multiply this if you apply deodorant directly after shaving) with chronic use causing “reproductive and fetal effects. Laboratory experiments have resulted in mutagenic effects. Exposure to large doses may cause central nervous system depression…” (2)

Odd that this substance would turn up in products destined for the most delicate skin on our bodies! PG is used to make a stick deodorant solidify. Hey Tom’s – if you’re listening, what about vegetable glycerine or Zimea as a substitute for propylene glycol? Or ANYTHING but this unnatural substance? Derived from natural gas though you say it is, it’s not something I want on my body.

And if you’re going with “The Crystal” in solid or spray form, be aware that it contains potassium alum, a salt of aluminum, so you’re still getting aluminum under your arms.

While the Tom’s deodorant doesn’t thankfully carry alum or parabens, many so-called “natural” deodorants do. Parabens are an even more toxic substance. Methyl, ethyl and propyl paraben are common preservatives in many cosmetics and have been implicated in breast cancer (3, 4) as they mimic the action of estrogen, which has been implicated in breast tumor growth.

From a great article from Dr. Kris McGrath which has great graphic of lymph proliferation into breast tissue at: http://bit.ly/y0kVT

“In a recent study 18 of 20 breast tumors contained parabens (synthetic preservatives) found in underarm products. Parabens mimic estrogen, and estrogen can drive tumor growth (Journal of Applied Toxicology, February, 2004).

The underarm is a gateway to the lymphatic system, which is an essential part of the immune system, and helps the body fight infection and diseases such as cancer”

Okay, so what can we do about all this who want a deodorant and don’t want to pay the poisonous piper? Either find a viable commercial option, or make your own! I’ve made my own deodorant for ages and while it’s not a perfect solution, if you’re worried about breast toxicity, it’s worthwhile to experiment. Recipes follow, but first…

Dr. McGrath whom quoted above, writes for a site that I’ve just been in contact with, TerraNaturals.

The formulary and owner, Tanya Workman, assures me her products contain NO PG, NO Parabens and NO aluminum or other unhappy junk. Just what do they contain and how do they work? That’s a really interesting topic! I interviewed Tanya and that will be the subject of a new article. But in the meantime, if you’d like to look, research or purchase, you can do that by clicking the banner above, OR, make your own.

Auntie M’s Natural Deodorant Recipe

Please understand that with any natural deodorant you may need to re-apply partway through your day for maximum effect. This may be a hassle, but it beats the living shit out of having breast cancer. My sympathies for those who find this a “bore” are on par with my sympathies with those who find drinking lots of water to be inconvenient because god-forbid, they might have to pee. ‘Nuff said.

Caveat: Essential oils are strong by themselves and must be used sparingly on human skin. NEVER ingest essential oils. Mix ONLY 6 drops of any of the following organic essential oils, or use any two in combination. These oils are universally regarded as safe and non-irritating in low concentrations but your mileage may vary, so be sensitive to your own reactions. Including vegetable glycerine where noted below will soothe skin and minimize irritation.

Anti-Bacterial /Anti-Odor Oils:
cedar, clary sage, cypress, lavender, lemon, lemongrass, orange, rosewood, sandalwood, tea tree, thyme

A good mix is clary sage, lemon, tea tree and lavender. Another is lemongrass, tea tree, cypress, cedar & sandalwood. Or a simple mixture of lavender and tea tree. Try different mixtures for yourself and see which you like.

Add 1/8tsp Vitamin E oil, or pierce two Vitamin E oil capsules and add to the oil mix. Vitamin E is a stabilizer and will act to preserve the essential oil mix. You could also use benzoin tincture if you are going with an alcohol base.

For a Spray:

Add the oil mixture to 1/2 cup vodka or Everclear alcohol and put in a spray bottle. Mix in a few drops of vegetable glycerine and a tablespoon of water. Shake well each time you use.

For a Powder:

Mix oils into 1/2 cup cornstarch and 1/2 cup baking soda thoroughly with a fork. Baking soda is a deodorizer and neutralizes the acids that odor-causing bacteria secrete. Cornstarch is now recommended over talc as a body powder as it causes no lung complications if inhaled, and is what is found in commercial baby powders. Caution: don’t use baby powder as it contains other chemicals you and baby don’t need! Plain, inexpensive cornstarch from the grocery store works just fine.

Place the soda, cornstarch, essential oil mixture into an clean spice container with a shaker top and shake well before each use. Wash underarms, pat dry and apply deodorant with a powder puff, or dry hands.

For a Deodorant Cream:

If you want a slightly wetter mixture, or deodorant the consistency of a cream, make the powder version and add vegetable glycerine or a good organic facial cold cream by the teaspoon, blending with a fork until desired consistency is achieved. This will be more moisturizing on the delicate skin of the armpit. Stop just short of the point where mixture would become too greasy for comfort.

When using this version it can be sticky. You can powder the cream down with plain cornstarch or make a special fragrant powder with a few drops of sandalwood or ylang-ylang, for the purpose. The cream form is ideal for putting into a container and taking with you for re-use throughout your day. Great form for taking to the gym, along with a small shaker of deodorant powder.

BTW, all of these recipes work well on feet, too!

Breast cancer survivor Kris Hart, right, vice president of global brand management at (casino operator) Harrah’s Entertainment, was still breastfeeding when she found out she had breast cancer. In this month’s Pink Magazine email, Taylor Mallory interviews Kris. Here are a couple of relevant highlights:

Hart’s Advice for Breast Cancer Newbies

1. DO take a breath and come up with a plan. The cancer has probably been in you for years, so you can wait a week.

2. DON’T make emotional decisions about your care. Get all the info you can before you make a decision.

3. DO surround yourself with people who don’t make you feel like a victim.

4. DON’T be afraid to ask for support. Your friends and family want to help.

Hart also adds her greatest challenge dealing with chemo:

"I have always had an innate sense of organization in my head. Since the chemo, and even now as it’s still in my system, I’m fuzzy. I can’t retain things, and I’m not as quick as I used to be. I can’t remember names as readily as I could. That’s really frustrating."

Maryam’s Note: Kris Hart, if you’re out there reading this, please check out the energy therapies (no drugs, no needles, no hassle, easy to learn and practice) like ETHOS, EFT and ZPoint to help "get your brain back". This involves the energy in your body, not in a box or machine. You’re using the natural energy an acupuncturist manipulates by putting needles in the body, only with the new energy therapies, you only tap on the acupoints, hold them gently and breathe, or use the energy solely in your mind. No gadgets or drugs needed!

Anyone dealing with fuzziness like this can regains clarity by practicing a couple of simple exercises to synch the hemispheres of your brain back up. Go to my page on that here:

http://maryamwebster.com/stressrelief

Do every exercise on the page, especially the Cross Crawl. This highlights part of the Bliss Coaching Process that is laid out in full in my book, Everyday Bliss For Busy Women.

PINK asks: How can colleagues help when a co-worker has cancer?

Kris Hart: "Be specific about how you want to help. Everyone says, "I’m here for you." But very few people will ever take you up on that. So say, "I’d like to bring dinner for you on Wednesday." Also recognize it’s not only the physical victim but the whole family that needs support. Someone called my husband to go have drinks. He was thrilled to get away too."

Maryam’s Note: I’ll second the "be specific" part. When Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the 90’s she deteriorated rapidly, and the community troups were marshalled to provide friendly visits for she and Dad. The best visit they had was after dinner one Tuesday evening from Bill Hall, a buddy of Dad’s from Rotary Club. Though Bill offered, Mom refused to let him go into the kitchen and get her usual offering of lemonade and cookies – it was important for HER to "do for" visitors as long as she was able.

Bill visited with the family for awhile, drank his lemonade and nibbled his cookies, chatting easily on a variety of topics. The ease with which he carried on conversation soon put Mom and Dad at ease. They reported during this time feeling pressed to entertain people and alleviate their discomfort with Mom’s cancering*, which only caused them to feel more stressed and tense after friendly visits than not. Bill’s visit was a welcome exception, doubly so because of what he did next.

After a polite amount of time had passed, Bill said to Dad: "Charlie, get your coat. You’re coming out bowling with me and the boys, and I won’t take no for an answer." Dad didn’t bowl, but he was too much of a gentleman to refuse such a public invitation. He went, had an excellent time, and Bill managed to wheedle him into coming to the "boys night out" from then on. It got him out of the house, Mom had a peaceful evening once a week to do as she liked, and Dad had a place to blow off steam and "be a regular fellow" as he put it. That’s important, and it was the best present a friend could have given him at this sensitive and crucial point in his life.

It doesn’t have to be a whole-hog fancy evening, any level of attention and caring is good. Just be there.

You can find out more and subscribe to Pink Magazine for Women Professionals here: http://www.pinkmagazine.com/index.html

Pink is about women having money and worldly power too – what activist and author Naomi Wolf calls "the last taboo". Canted towards C-level professional and executive women, Pink provides gathering opportunities at locations around America to help women network and excel in business.

* Cancering - Using the word "Cancering" creates a gerund, or non-finite verb form out of the noun, cancer. When you add the "-ing" to a word that is so definite, so negatively final, it transforms the disease into a process which can have a positive end – the disease process ends, but you go on. This is a form that I take from the teachings of Master NLP Health Coach, Suzi Smith, who reports that this simple linguistic change brings empowerment back into the equation for those living with this disease process.

In surveying holistic health blogs, I often meet really cool people. One I had the good fortune to meet this week is a Kripalu Yoga teacher and registered nurse, Judi England. She blogs over at TimesUnion, and I want to bring your attention to a great post she made on a five-step relaxation process.

Here’s the meat of the method, though you really should get over to her blog and read it all (the post itself is on cultivating Presence) and check her archives as well as DO this wonderful relaxation method. It can only take a few minutes to go from stressed to blissed.

The more relaxed you are, the more Conscious you are. And I love how this BRFWA process brings great consciousness to the entire system.

From: http://blogs.timesunion.com/holistichealth/?p=306

…Known as BRFWA (pronounced,” brifwah”) – the acronym stands for a five-step process - BREATHE, RELAX, FEEL, WATCH, ALLOW.   Alternatively known as “The Practice of Being Present”,  BRFWA can help me make a shift from tension back to relative ease, from the worries of “what if?” to the management of “what is.”

Here’s how to move through the steps:

1. BREATHE-  Most of our worries link us to the past or the future.  The breath happens minute by minute, entirely in the present.  At the first experience of strong sensations, thoughts or emotions most people find that their breath gets shallow – or even stops temporarily. It’s a common reaction.  To notice when that happens, and reestablishing a steady rhythm of breath can  bring us back into the solid ground of the body and the moment.
2. RELAX – Regular abdominal or diaphragmatic breathing  instantly begins to reverse the stress response.  It’s simply the way we humans are wired.  When stress begins to diminish we can read a current situation and it’s reality more clearly.
3. FEEL – With body calmer and mind less clouded with tension we can begin to  feel what’s really going on.  We can begin to response to actual events rather than react to our fears and imaginings.
4. WATCH- Nothing in life is permanent. Sensations get weaker, stronger, move, or dissolve.  So do emotions. Thoughts are our own creations and can bear little connection to reality.  We love to believe our thoughts and sometimes nothing is more misleading. With the first three steps in place, we can “Watch” the process of impermanence and choose actions that fit each situation as it comes up.
5. ALLOW – Without self-criticism, self-judgment, or creating a”story” about why things are the way they are – we just let everything exist – good bad or indifferent.  We stay right here, in the present.  We know that we don’t have to handle everything at once – just the next thing.

A simple practice – absolutely. An easy practice – not always.  But, like any other behavior we want to include in our life, the more we use it, the better we get at it.

My suggestion is to try it first when stress is mild-moderate.  Don’t wait till red-alert sets in. ( Just like preparation for childbirth – you don’t start when the contractions do!) Try it at home. Teach it to your kids.  Share it with your friends.  Do it at work and make your co-workers wonder what you’re up to.

Try it and make your own personal contribution to world peace – or at least peace in your own corner of the world.

Judi England, RN, LMT, Kripalu Yoga Instructor – yogajudi@aol.com – 10/12/2008

For Breast Health Awareness Month and also each month out of the year – do you know how to do your monthly breast self-exam?

Review the self-check procedure and what to look for here:

http://snipurl.com/breastexam

When I spoke of this to a group of women in business at a recent talk I gave, it was pointed out by one of the ladies present:  "The body is a temple, sure, but not every woman wants to feel up her own breasts! I’m religious and I don’t think that’s "nice" for a woman to do."

And now for a reality check….would whatever god you worship want you to be neglectful of this temple that is your body? Or to suffer a disease you may not have if you check yourself and catch changes early? Average of nine months earlier than doctor exams, by the way.

YOU are your own best breast health advocate!

And to go along with your implication of immorality – no, this is not sexually oriented "feeling up".

While you can certainly enjoy the process yourself or even involve your partner for extra fun (why not? if it makes sure you get the job done, go ahead!) a monthly breast self-exam is a purposed, focused fact finding mission.

So please, religious ladies of all sects and everyone else, click the link above and learn how to give yourself a proper breast self-exam.

Once a month. It’s What Nice Girls Do.

Huzzah! The book has arrived. The real book, not just the jpg, which was all I had of the cover photo. And here is me with book, very late at night after being out all day and coming home to the box on my doorstep. Weary, and without makeup, but the grin is 100% gen-u-wine.

Mitties Anoushka and Tashi-Claire immediately sat in the box and pawed its contents but unlike swift friend Andy, who caught his sitting in the book box, I was not fast enough to get a photo. 

The illustrations reproduced beautifully and friends have praised the self-coaching system as clear and concise. Reviewer’s copies are now being shipped (stay tuned for acid-test thoughts on Everyday Bliss from the most provocative minds in America and Europe!).

As an author, one comes to look at their book in terms of a series of chapters, or this or that section. It’s nice to finally see it all hang together. For a gift book, it certainly is wide – the spine is about an inch wide. Too much goodness to contain in just one place. I can’t wait for it to be on shelves all over so I can share this information with you, too.   

More soon on how to purchase, and get in on our super-special Publication-Day Special "Energy of Everyday Bliss – Spring Training" Telesummit…here’s a preview:  

If you purchase the book at Amazon.com on May 1st, 2008, you will get a whole TON of special bonuses including a community full of resources, just for readers not available elsewhere. Audios, videos, Bliss Coaching, interviews, community forums on just about every topic in attaining true and lasting Bliss.

The biggest of these "Reader’s Circle" bonuses however, is a cutting-ege NEW:

This groundbreaking free event May 5 – 7 is being held ONLY for those who buy the book at Amazon.com on May 1st.

(Can’t make it? Purchase and come back to the everydaybliss.org website on May 1st anyway – We have webcasts and replays and bonus gifts for you – you can attend ANYWHERE in the world!)

I’m bringing together the best presenters from the international conferences of the two professional groups I belong to: The Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP) and the Institute for the Advanced Study of Health (IASH) plus experts and professionals I have worked for years in wellness, performance enhancement, parenting, personal development and leadership coaching.

We are all coming together to bring YOU the most exciting teaching event and community kick-off ever, to help you realize and actualize a Deep and Lasting Field of Bliss in your life and the lives of those you influence.

If this thought intrigues you, buy the Everyday Bliss book at Amazon.com on May 1st and get in on this amazing "Spring Training" Telesummit.

It’s the only place you’ll find all these amazing teachers, therapists, spiritual masters and creators of the New Earth, to quote Eckhart Tolle, all in one place – all free to you, just for the price of "Everyday Bliss For Busy Women" – and Amazon, as you know, does give a discount which makes it even less expensive and more value-packed!

Support your growth into Everyday Bliss by registering now for free, over at EverydayBliss.org. You can’t get into the Reader’s Circle until May 1st, but you’ll have a jump on the process when the day comes.

See you there!