Everyday Bliss

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking & research on something interesting happening right now: the transformation of our species at the sub-DNA/energetic level. I’ve been tracking changes in human energetic evolution from the time I was born. You could say it’s a hobby.

Is it such a leap from accepting that electrons exist, to see, feel and experience the sub-physical energy template that our bodies, animals, plants, our houses, what we think and feel – that everything is made of? For me, as for many out there, it’s a logical conclusion.

Even though we can’t see energy (though many people can)

Even though we can’t feel it (though you can learn to)

Even though at some levels it’s not measurable by some instruments (though it is by others)

We are changing our DNA at the energetic level, yes, but also the energy itself and our ability to perceive, receive and know it, is also changing.

The human family is experiencing a sense of opening up to greater flow and capacity of energy and the knowledge of how to shape it.

Have you noticed that today’s children are markedly more capable and creative and just brilliant than generations that went before? It’s not only that each generation thinks this, but that today’s kids have access to exponentially more resources and energetic frequencies than we did when we were their age – we have increased our capacity to perceive, know, be and receive so much more that today’s children are coming in solving problems in first grade we didn’t even know about until college. Really.

People who would not have talked about or accepted energy healing in years past are now scheduling regular Reiki or EFT sessions. Older forms of relating to each other are falling away and going from a society of individualists to one which is coming more and more to the model of co-creating our futures together.

Abraham talks about evolving through the contrast you have drawn towards you. You draw to you the people, places, situations and physical symptoms which are in opposition to, and give you a benchmark of what you really want. We can’t know what light is without experiencing dark and vice versa. We draw a crappy relationship to show us how we really want to be treated.

This is also how we learn as children. We don’t know true happiness until we have experienced unhappiness. We don’t know what we want to grow up and be until we sample various careers, dream about what we want from life, experiment, get happy with something and go for it. When we’re kids, doing what feels good is so easy, there’s no resistance, no putting others’ needs, preferences and shoulds/musts/oughts first.

If we could only keep this perspective when we grow up!

Sometimes, this is the hardest thing as a parent to allow their children to do.

Wayne Dyer quoting Lao Tzu on children said poignantly:

“You do not own your children, they come through you but are not of you”.

Children have their own dharma or mission and purpose in life Dyer says, it is not your business as a parent to try and force them into anything they do not want.

We are each born with an inbuilt sense of guidance – our Bliss Compass – that if we allow it, will unerringly point us the way to our True Mission.

Great advice for parents and teachers. Through us, but not of us. We don’t own them, it’s not our business to program them. Guide them through the minefield of early life, then let them do what they were uniquely put here for.

Many people live miserable, broken-hearted lives, still slaves to mom and dad’s idea of how the world “has to be”.

Can we please stop forcing children into molds they don’t want, can’t use and have to go to a therapist thirty years in the future to spend five years undoing, so they can do what will truly make their hearts sing?

Parents, you don’t want that kind of life for your children.

No matter how cool or clued-in we are, we really don’t know what’s good for our kids past teaching them how to use available resources and keeping them from killing themselves or anyone else until they’ve reach the age of majority.

Just watching friends children has been a remarkable education in how super-proficient kids are today and at younger and younger ages. Only they can find their own true path in life.

What we can do as parents is to support that and be open to where our children’s path takes them.

Thank them for who they are, what they offer, and how they have chosen to manifest.

They came through you, but are not of you.

Use this powerful moment to release any attachment to how things “should” be, “must” be or “could have” been, and any thoughts of needing to control. Allow the “through” part of Lao Tzu’s statement to be the energy you breathe these attachments out on.

Breathe out the need to control how children grow, what they prefer, how they choose to shape their lives.

Our urges towards control are about us, not about your child or anyone else. They mean we are far from our own Source Energy or Unlimited Self. Step back into Unlimited Self, center in your own Source Energy and the need to control others will dissolve.

Thank you to my beloved Mother for asserting when I was in the cradle and every day from that time until her death and beyond, that I could do anything I set my mind to.

She was right, and I thank her once again for that invaluable support. I realize many people weren’t lucky enough to grow up with a supportive parent.

If you were pushed from childhood to be something your parents thought you should be, and you really don’t want to be, there are decades of deferring to others and the now-strong sense that you must bow to the desires of others to deal with. You can Transform this, as all things.

We are in the continual process of transforming, as a species

As Generative Creators of our lives we are in constant evolution. Life itself flows through us, but is not of us. As a species making important energetic and physical transitions and upgrades in all of our systems, we transform what we can in our lives, keep what works, and discard the rest.

We incrementally improve ourselves as a clump, and as individuals by allowing transformative energies to flow through us, and not become “of us”, or get stuck in our energy field.

When we fix our thoughts, feelings or beliefs around an idea, belief or situation, the energy creating it stagnates and creates discomfort. When we let our energy flow freely by releasing attachment to ideas, beliefs and outcomes, we can most easily transform.

Here’s a scenario I’m seeing  that tends to be one pathway people are choosing to use to get themselves to wake up:

First we we get angry about the circumstances of our life and how crappy it is. Out of this comes the realization of the importance of  what the Truth is about our situation. The fact that we’re not “Living Our Truth”, has caused our life to become negative and uncomfortable.  And…

…a lot of indicators come into our lives as we continue to yearn towards that Truth that show us…

What we’re really yearning for is connection to our own Source Energy/Unlimited Self.  We have diverged widely from Source with everything in our lives that we chose to feel badly about. What we choose to feel badly about = things our energy is stuck/fixed/stagnant around.

And out of this comes the understanding that…

Feeling Bad = Going away from Source energy/our True or Unlimited Self

Feeling Good = Going towards or being at one with Source Energy/Unlimited Self

We learn that whenever we Feel Good, things tend to happen smoothly and the things we  wanted just fall into our laps as if by magic. And more opportunities to feel good manifest, the more we work for everyone feeling good.

In this paradigm, the equation for success in life, real success, looks like this:

Feeling Good + Focus on Feeling Even Better + Joyously Living in Service = Incredible Growth individually & collectively. We realize this is how we achieve reconnection to Source.

And the fact that Who We Are is not divisible from Source Energy.

And that everyone else, and all that surrounds us is made of the same thing…Source Energy

and that we’re always changing…

…through us, not of us….

Transforming yourself can be a sticky wicket. Even after many years of self-work, you can still get caught out in traps from childhood like having fixed images of what we or our children should, could, ought or must do, be or have.

More parental programming to undo. A delicate balance to maintain.

Flow through, release, let go.

It’s so easy…just relax into it.

Stay centered in who you really are:

Not your parent’s programming.

Not your partner’s.

Nobody else’s.

Just the Real you….

Your Unlimited Self.

A Question From Me To You:

How do you balance your evolution, that of your energy body and all your systems, with those parental programs that work, with those that don’t?

If you have thoughts on this, I’d love to continue the conversation with you. Just click the “comment” link below.

Be it ever so humble…here’s our New Year’s Eve in Redwood City, CA – complete with interesting neighbors, mariachi (which unfortunately you can’t quite hear thru the Flip’s limited mike), a gen-u-wine Radar Range, gunfire, rockets, Dick Clark, brother Johannes on the FaceBook, @andrealee and other darlings on TweetDeck, shrimp & assorted sauces (only a fraction of the truly decadent parade of food we had during the evening – oh yes), Piper Heidsieck champagne and the much-beloved JBear…

One of the things that I’ve truly “gotten” on my hiatus is that I have not allowed myself enough down-time and really need some quality unplugging. No computer, no tv, getting back to a spare, but rich, non-tech lifestyle. Accordingly, for the entire month of April, but for the master class in ETHOS I’m doing for Adela Rubio:

http://selfcaremastery.com/maryam

and a radio interview I’m doing for Connecting Women, I will be completely offline AND off email – our offices, help desk and all connection outlets will be closed.

I’d like to share a lesson from this that I have learned as it will be beneficial for anyone to think about. That is, we have many yardsticks in our lives – many ways of measuring the shoulds and musts. And though we may have come to the point of removing the words “should” and “must” from our vocabulary, those very ideas exist in our molecular structure as strong encodings.

In my case, the coding was around “I *should* be able to rest from a week of work in the two days of the weekend and be okay” and “I *should* be able to  work during the day from 9-5 as others do”.

But my system is not set up that way – it never has  been. I’m an owl, not a lark. A small percentage of the extremely creative (some call them “renaissance people”) have biorhythms that predispose them to work at their best, and to high proficiency on a variety of topics, later in the day. Voltaire, DaVinci, Michelangelo, Tesla and Bill Clinton are among those whose bodies also favored a night-owl lifestyle. I work best in the late afternoon and evening, sleep around 6 – 7 hours at most (7 is almost too much and 8 is definitely oversleeping) and usually work on several projects at once by preference. And I need more than two days to be “off” on the weekend.

My long-suffering workhorse parents despaired of me ever being respectable in the sleep department. I happily created in the wee hours, even as a child. Well-meaning though it was, they used every moral imperative to suggest that I was not a righteous person for being a night-owl and if I kept up “these shenanigans” I would not mature into a good upstanding citizen. Mother consulted Reverend Pegues when I was seven over this perceived fault, with the result that I was awakened every morning at 6am without fail to pray and read the Bible before school in the hopes of rehabilitating my wayward biorhythms.

It didn’t work. I slept through third period in school, refusing to be rousted, and stayed up at night until my body told me it was time to sleep. It exasperated Mother no end, but she finally gave up and when she saw that I was doing cool things – nature photography and essays in philosophy at that point.  She even briefly catered to my 10pm dinner habit  and harbored hopes that I might turn into Imogen Cunningham. No such luck though.

In the intervening years, I’ve found it’s always best to do what my body tells me it needs. When I do that, I am never sick or tired, and am always at my best and sharpest.

Late last year however,  though it was a relatively minor thing, I fell prey again to the moralizing of others around my natural biorhythms and tried to be early-to-bed-early-to-rise to join with a group of yoga friends who were all early risers and determined to make me one as well. And I mean, sunrise type early, greeting the day with Surya Namaskar as the sun crested the local Diablo hills.

The result was that I became out of sorts and was tired quite a lot which is very unusual for me. And even though I love writing more than life itself sometimes, computers, Twitter and email began to irritate me severely. These were cardinal signs to me that I was not honoring my body’s needs and was one of the ingredients in my decision to take a hiatus from business in January.

I naievely thought that my break would begin in January, but no, tying up ends so I actually could take a break took well into February. Then a conference came in March with heavy email, Twitter involvement and text messaging before and after, pushing things even further out.

So drop-dead earnest here, April is my month off. Completely away from the computer. Even cellphone. Don’t send me an EM, IM, DM, TxT or Skypee because I’m nailing the keyboard to the desk upside down and locking the mouse in a drawer. Not kidding.

I’m taking this unplugged break both for my own self-care and health, as well as research for an interesting article, or it might even be a book that I am writing. It keeps extending itself so it could well be the next book. <grin> More much later about that though.

The Moral of the Story Is… that there is no moral imperative around what the body needs. Each of us is wonderfully diverse in our unique makeup.  We all have slightly to profoundly different needs for food, water, sunshine or darkness, sleep or waking, downtime,  romance-time, exercise and alone-time.

That old biblical verse about the plank in your own eye comes to bear here. If someone in your life isn’t configured the same way you are don’t bring your judgements against them. Take care of your own needs and support each other to extreme and joyous acts of self-care, no matter what the hands on the clock say, no matter how different you might be to each others.

Diversity is what makes the world go ’round, be interesting and create genius.

Meanwhile, have a *beautiful* and *joyous* spring!

With Love,
Maryam

I’m taking time off and have been enjoying myself with various creative projects. Today, I videoed a hurricane taking place outside my back door. The deluge was widely reported in various formats, but I got to hear of it when spouse banged on bedroom door in the wee hours, informing me that our beloved gazebo (where we host outdoor parties) had folded in upon itself, torn its moorings and was no more. And further, that it was reanimating post-death and crawling up the house, trying to gain the roof and freedom, beyond.

Here is my own local view of the Great San Francisco Bay Storm of Ought-Eight, including a relaxing freshly-recorded rain track for those of you who enjoy such things. There is bliss to be found in being outside, the only human being around, filling lungs full of cold air, the wonderful fresh ozone sweeping the cobwebs out of one’s head. The Mitties provided support by nestling against me when I came back in, the purr-buzzing of their hot, fluffed-out little bodies providing just the right dose of warmth and comfort. Right-click to download if you like…and keep your galoshes handy.

Okay, so the Autumnal Equinox was a week ago, but you can still have yourself a merry litle spa break at this time of the year when the energies are changing like mad, crazy swirls of leaves caught up in a merry dance with the North Wind. Blow some clean air through your hair – open all the windows even if it’s cold  and let your home and office air out completely from morning to night. And…

Try this five minute complete System Recharge to jump up your energy a bit at a time when the earth’s energies are winding down, going deeper, pulsing slower. This practice, which invokes the basic elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water, purifies the subtle energy system and invigorates all of your sensate organs. Spend but a minute or two on each of the four areas:

Earth: Facing North, look down at the ground and feel gravity, pulling your body downward. Palms facing the ground, breathe both in and out through your nose while feeling the soles of your feet as they touch the earth. Breathe in through your soles of your feet and the palms of your hands.

Water: Turning to face the West, lean your neck backward looking upward and allow your lips to part. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Imagine that you are standing in a shallow mountain stream with water raining down upon you. Water rolls off of your body, drips down into the stream and flows away, taking all that doesn’t belong in or on you, with it.

Fire: Facing South, stand erect with your elbows bent and hands raised to shoulder level, facing the front of your body. Breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. As you breathe in, feel the breath stoking your internal fire or "dan tien" in your solar plexus. As you breathe out imagine you are sending the light of that fire outward, into a protective and energizing sphere which surrounds you.

Air: Facing East, allow your entire body to relax and soften. Feel yourself becoming less solid and more permeable. Your arms hang loosely with the palms facing to the front of you. As you breathe in and out through your mouth, feel the air flowing into and out of your body through the very pores in your skin.

Old circle-junkies among the reading audience might notice this goes in a counter-clockwise (or counter-sunwise if you will) circle. Yes. At this time of the year, the energies of the natural environment that surround us are moving more in these counter-sunwise spirals as the light of the sun itself grows less intense and weaker. This is one way to make a counter-sunwise spiral work for you, to energize and purify. Enjoy!

Last week I gave a speech to a group of technology workers about workaholism being the standard, not the exception these days. I also shared the statistic that women work longer hours than men do, traditionally in the home  and also at outplacement work sites. Remember mom putting in hours on dinner, cleanup and mending or other jobs while you and dad watched tv and hung out? Most moms worked up to bedtime when I was a kid. Work at home COUNTS as "work". We’re seeing this historical tendency transfer into the corporate workplace as well where women are asked to work longer hours and then come home to resume working. Reading a 1980’s women’s magazine, my mother was once heard to mutter "Time for myself? Whatever do they mean by that?" For many women world-wide, little has changed in the past twenty years.

The point I was making is that housework and child rearing are historically un-valued or undervalued jobs, and are typically taken on in a majority of households by women. Once a woman has worked a full day in the office, she potentially comes home to meal preparation, cleaning and parenting taking up her time in far greater proportions than do male parents. This is not my observation, but that of dozens of clients, industry research and formal surveys. I cited the article below and so am running it again for those of you who missed it back when…

This study cites how women in the UK are working longer, harder and as a result, are accumulating more stress. When you translate that to America, you can tack on a few hours and perhaps even add a quarter more bother to the stress load. Why? While they are fast approaching levels of job-stress we have in the U.S., Europeans tend to have more realistic work/life balance than Americans.

From:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3178554.stm

WOMEN WORK LONGER HOURS

A woman’s work is never done may sound like a tired old cliché – but it may be more true than ever.

According to a new survey a woman’s working week is now half a day longer than it was five years ago – and that’s without housework.

The increase is down to the growing number of women in more high-powered management and professional jobs, say researchers.

In contrast, the total number of hours worked by men has fallen slightly over the same period – from 45.5 hours to 44.8 hours.

Girls to work more

According to the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (http://www.cipd.co.uk/default.cipd ) who conducted the survey, the shifting pattern is down to changes in the UK economy.

And these are more likely to become more magnified, not less, in the future, as the UK economy shifting from male-dominated manufacturing to the more female-friendly service sector.

Mike Emmott, head of employee relations at CIPD, said: "If efforts to secure equal treatment for women at work are to bear fruit we can expect to see their experience of work and working patterns aligned more closely with those of men."

However, men are still working much longer hours in paid jobs than women.

Compared to an average week of 44.8 hours for a man, women are working 33.9 hours.

Flexible friend?

The impact of the government’s campaign on work-life balance has had little effect, the report says.

The element of the report’s findings contradicts a recent report for the Office of National Statistics which said that six million workers were now benefiting from flexible work.

The government has introduced a range of family-friendly and flexible working measures.

It signed up to the European Social Chapter shortly after coming into power – and many European-inspired policies have subsequently been introduced.

In recent years: new fathers have gained paternity rights; women can take up to a year’s maternity leave – and parents now have the right to request flexible working patterns.

In addition, people working part-time have gained the right to equal treatment as full-time employees.

But according to the report there is an increasing proportion of people working long hours – more than 48 hours a week – up from 10% in 1998 to 25% today.

These long hours can have a negative effect on quality of life, with more than a quarter of those people who are working long hours admitting health problems as a result.

A quarter said had led to stress or depression and it had affected their sex lives and their relationship with their children.

More than four in ten workers say long hours "gets in the way of" their relationship with their partner or spouse.

"The only crumb of comfort", the report says is that one in four employees have cut back their hours in the past five years, although this is largely down to parenthood.

…were scattered all over the place until just today. Still a cadre of boxes awaits in the garage. Wowser, has the unpacking ever been intense! Getting back to blog soon but the cool things where we are right now:

• a massive and research-friendly library nearby that doesn’t mind you setting up a laptop and staying awhile…
• a WholeFoods Market & Trader Joe’s just down the street – no hiking far afield for organics…
• Huddart County Park (acres of REDWOODS – woo!), up high in the hills near where we live…
• the joy of seeing tall ships (for which read "clipper" – yes, real ones!) sailing by the hubby’s office window…
• air that is much, MUCH cleaner than in the valley (San Jose, Silicon Valley) and much cooler…
• the pool Kraken. The hubby, a mythology buff, has dubbed the little robot that floats around the pool on a tether and vacuums up fallen leaves and other tree debris, "the Kraken". Presumptuous thing – it snuck up and suckered my leg once, nearly scaring me out of a few year’s growth.

Blissful Moments: In the San Francisco peninsula piedmont , it is far too cold to actually use the pool until late May. (oddly enough said pool is shaped like a gigantic piece of candy corn…) But the sun shines bright, the winds blow cool and pleasant and herbs are beginning to poke up tiny shoots in the kitchen window greenhouse – parsley, miniature basil, lemon basil, chervil, chives, cilantro, tarragon, savory, variegated sage, oregano and lavender. The summer will be rife with tasty morsels and fragrant moments….