Everyday Bliss

“Doggone our families! Why can’t they just ‘get’ us sometimes?”. Lia, who’s been mentoring with me for several years was quite cross over her sister’s unwillingness to use EFT to deal with her marital breakup. Lia had cured her sugar addiction in coaching with me using EFT and wanted badly to help her sister, Martha.

Martha felt EFT was “too weird” however, and wouldn’t discuss it further, telling Lia “that stuff’s okay for you but it’s just too way out there for me”. Lia was frustrated, sick with worry for her sister (which we tapped on) and didn’t know what to do next.

I can SO relate.

When I first started to share energy coaching with my non-energy-savvy family, they raised their eyebrows, laughed, politely patted my hand and said “it’s great you found a hobby, dear”.

Most of us have had friends or relatives roll their eyes at one another and been the odd duck out in more traditional circles when we try to share energy transformation modalities.

But there’s a great way you can get people into the joys of living a clearer, happier life through energy work. And that is….

Drop the jargon.

Don’t say one acronym – not ETHOS, not EFT, not BSFF or any of the hundred others you might know.

In fact, don’t talk about the tool at all.

Just casually talk to your friends or family members about how they feel. And as you’re speaking with them about what isn’t right in their life, as they are in the depths of the “Dang it, if only I’d have had the guts to….” or “It just KILLS me that I didn’t…” or “I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s driving me nuts!”

Ask: “How would you rather feel?”

This usually stops people in their tracks.

“Huh?” they’ll say “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what would you really want to feel like, if you could drop this feeling of (hurt, anger, betrayal, jealousy, guilt, shame etc.)?”

Then listen and be really open to what they are telling you without the NEED on your part to fix them, or what’s going on.

Your dropping the need you have to make it all better for other people is HUGE!

When I realized this, and simply listened without attachment to the other person’s outcome (and we’re talking about people I’d gladly give my life for, dear friends and family members), all of a sudden, THEY became more open to what I had to say about HOW to make their situation better.

Then, when they’ve told you how they’d rather feel, acknowledge what they’ve said and ask them:

“Would you like to get a little bit of the way to that place right now?”

If they say yes, then if you practice EFT for instance, get them to tap their HAND points as they tell you their story. Importantly, get them to rate their SUDS or intensity of feeling BEFORE you begin tapping.

And chances are, you’ll get them a good piece of the way down the road, not just a little bit, but it’s a good clean-energy practice to under-promise and over-deliver. That way, folks you’re working with get that extra bit that makes them feel like they got a bonus for free. And that’s something we all love. 

It’s important to start off with something they won’t immediately dismiss as weird looking or “too much to remember”. Using just the hand points addresses a large amount of the person’s intensity level without the overwhelm the whole EFT “recipe” can bring new tappers.

You tap, and tell them just to follow what you’re doing as they tell their story. By and by they’ll be on autopilot, tapping their finger points and karate chop point and telling their story.

As they tell their story, tail enders will come up, guide them to tap on these using just the hand points as well.

When they’ve been talking and tapping for about five minutes, ask them to rate their SUDS or intensity level again.

Most will find a few points shaved off, if not more. I’ve had family look at me with surprise on their faces and say bluntly “I thought all that stuff was just [*steer manure*], but I’ll be doggoned, this [*manure*] really works!”

Now, they enthusiastically tap with other family members who think they’re just as cuckoo as I am.

But they feel better about themselves and their lives. And I don’t care if they think I’m cuckoo, as long as we all feel the best we possibly can.

Because, and this is another important lesson, especially for newbies, the better we feel, the more better feeling experiences we attract.

And that’s a story for another day.

I hope this has been helpful. Let me know how you’re teaching your family to use the energy methods you know and love – you can put a post in the forums or in a blog on the ETHOS Community at:

http://ethosmethod.ning.com

Or feel free to leave a comment on this post below – use the handy-dandy tools in the orange bar at the bottom of the page to keep up the conversation!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you & a lovely rest of the week!

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

You may practice ETHOS, EFT, ZPoint, BSFF, EMDR, HeartMath or a variety of other energy therapies. You may practice as a psychotherapist, health educator or as a coach. But did you know that the energy psychology all these methods are based on has been researched and accepted by a number of professional organizations already?

(As a shoutout to my own Certified Energy Coaches – you need to know this, please read)

According to the author’s online course the tenets of his paper Energy Psychology: Review of the Preliminary Evidence, have been accepted by the National Board for Certified Counselors, Association of Social Work Boards, and the National Association for Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors. Great news!  Now if the APA (which is taken to task in the paper) would listen, we’d all be one big happy family.

What generative energy, space and consciousness would it take to have the techniques we all know work, accepted world-wide by the “powers that be”? What would it take to shift the axis away from those ultra-conservative organizations and individuals who would stifle, hold down and repress information that could, if they would only open to it, accelerate and advance not only their careers, but the results of every client they help?

Hmm…interesting thought… 

Here’s an abstract, with a follow link at the bottom. Read the whole paper. It really is most illuminating. And deep thanks to energy psychology pioneer Dr. David Feinstein for his wonderful work

Paper Abstract

Energy psychology utilizes imaginal and narrative-generated exposure, paired with interventions that reduce hyperarousal through acupressure and related techniques. According to practitioners, this leads to treatment outcomes that are more rapid, powerful, and precise than the strategies used in other exposure-based treatments such as relaxation or diaphragmatic breathing. The method has been exceedingly controversial. It relies on unfamiliar procedures adapted from non-Western cultures, posits unverified mechanisms of action, and early claims of unusual speed and therapeutic power ran far ahead of initial empirical support. This paper reviews a hierarchy of evidence regarding the efficacy of energy psychology, from anecdotal reports to randomized clinical trials. Although the evidence is still preliminary, energy psychology has reached the minimum threshold for being designated as an evidence-based treatment, with one form having met the APA Division 12 criteria as a “probably efficacious treatment” for specific phobias; another for maintaining weight loss. The limited scientific evidence, combined with extensive clinical reports, suggests that energy psychology holds promise as a rapid and potent treatment for a range of psychological conditions.

Read this paper here

About the Author:

Dr. Feinstein is a clinical psychologist who has done pioneering work in the areas of personal mythology and energy psychology. Author of 7 books and over 50 professional papers, he has taught at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and Antioch College. His multi-media Energy Psychology Interactive self-study training program was a recipient of the Outstanding Contribution Award from the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, and the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. Connect to Dr. Feinstein at his website, here.

This is a continuation of a post on Translucence I made  a few weeks ago here. This piece develops what the Rising of Consciousness is like as experienced from the INSIDE of the process, as it’s happening. Your roving Conscious Reporter checks in…

Translucent people have access to their deepest nature as peaceful, limitless, free, unchanging, and at the same time they remain fully involved in the events of their personal lives.

- Arjuna Ardagh
The Translucent Revolution

Some people call the state of being without limits that is being awake and aware, “God Consciousness” or “soul”, or “higher self”. Since ETHOS is culture-free and barrier-free, we avoid using charged language and simply call this resource state  “Unlimited Self”, which is a state of being that allows access to a universe of resources, creativity and magic. (yep, real magic)

What Is The Unlimited State Like?

When you are fully stepped into Unlimited Self, peaceful calm is a pervasive state and can be almost addictive to stay mesmerised in when it is first encountered.  It is the Stillness spoken of by Eckhart Tolle, in his book Stillness Speaks, and it can be a  deeply comforting place to be in, unconcerned about the world, for a very long time. This is a typical reaction to first awakening. Most of us have so much noise in our lives we don’t realize what true stillness is really like. And then Awakening comes and with it…whoosh! We are dumbstruck with awe and delight.

At a certain point you look around and realize that life goes on and you can both be in this state as well as interact with others. What a realization that is when it comes in a timely fashion.

The Human Experience of Rising Consciousness

My client Dave, a Buddhist working a compassionate path towards personal and worldwide enlightenment, described an incident where spontaneous Stillness and Consciousness happened to him in the wake of a physical injury. He existed for a time with the perceptions of an infant, in perpetual entertainment and delight with the world, but also with amnesia of his former state and a baby’s physical weakness. Cared for by friends, he rode this period out “like an acid trip”, but the state didn’t last. He crashed several months later making the decision that he could either be enlightened, or interact with the “real world” but not both.

“Either / Or’s” are limiting beliefs. We worked on these using ETHOS and now, Dave is able to fully move in and out of consciousness at will. Most of the time he says, “I stay put in the present. It’s wonderful being here!”. Dave’s noticed that as he “steps aside” his need to decreases. He’s now reporting hour-long blocks of consciousness and a complete cessation of the nervous tension he came into coaching with.

The conscious state without limits lasts longer and longer the more you realize when you’ve slipped out of it, and practice Stepping Aside into Unlimited Self.

The more you do this, the longer the conscious state extends.

An ETHOS Game: Keep the Unlimited state going while watching things that formerly would have dragged you back into unconsciousness slip by un-remarkably. “How wonderful I feel” you think “did that really used to bother me? Hm, that’s interesting…” and go about your day, unconcerned.

This is what freedom feels like in this state.

Been here before? Trying to get there?

What wisdom can you share about getting into Consciousness?

Feel free to teach us…

What is that furrow
on your brow,
a sigh of sorrow
imprinted on the skin?
What clings sullen
to the bone,
contracting your heart?

What do you fear,
have horror of,
long to forget,
despise and loathe
so much

that it leaves its
convoluted intent
on the roadmap
of your face?

And more importantly,
what do you REALLY desire?

Think on that and know:

That nothing is truly wrong.

Nothing is truly required of you,

but to live and be happy.

What is meant for you can never truly be lost,
because nothing can actually be lost.

Lost is a point of view,
a Limiting Belief.

Though forms may change,
everything always exists
for energy cannot be destroyed.

What is meant for you is still right in front of you.

Have you the eyes to see it?

Have you the ears to hear its message?

Have you the heart to feel its

fresh,

pure,

delicious energy…

pulling you forward?

If not…

Step aside,

into the Real You…

and continue the journey.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* Travelogue: Been fueled on inspiration from the stunning Oregonian waterfalls this week on our tour of the Pacific Northwest. I snapped the above picture at Multnomah Falls prior to a hike where we got ecstatically drenched. The words rolled out during an intro on ETHOS that I taught in a community center shortly after that.  “Stepping aside” is ETHOS speak for stepping back inside our Unlimited Self – that energetic template of the ‘perfect you’ that we all started out in life, and that is still available to us. The ETHOS Method is a free, worldwide healing and consciousness tool that I created, and you can learn more about here.

“You are Love, You are Loved and You are Loving”
- d. deLarm, the Missouri sweet medicine man

At this point in time, many people aren’t having that great an experience of life.

The economy sucks, jobs are lost, relationships are suffering and affordable healthcare seems like a dream. And everyone dislikes some aspect of their life. Thighs and hips are still top the list, followed by jobs, spouses, the economy, personal problems and concerns about our kids.

People are really focusing on the negative, even meditators and therapists I’ve known for years to be the voice of good cheer.

And we wonder why there’s fighting in the world!

LOVE YOUR LIFE TIP #1:

I’ve been teaching this for years but never has it been more important for us to really GET:

“What you give A.I.R. – Your Attention, Your Intention and Repetition – LIVES. And what you give your attention, and intention to repetitively, will manifest more and more in your life.”

Like the flab on your thighs, the dwindling balance in your bank account, how horrible your relationship is, etc. It’s really just that simple. But people don’t get it, and keep paying attention to the bad, not the good in their lives.

(it was a “duh!” moment when I realized this)

One way you can realize when you’re doing this is an old trick from behavioral psychology. Loop a rubber bandaround your wrist and snap it every time you catch yourself thinking negatively. It will soon insert a “pause” in your process where you can choose. A choice you could make given the previous example might be: “Do I want to dwell on how horrible it is to be fat, or will I take a walk and think about how wonderful my thighs will feel when they NO LONGER rub together?”

This simple process inserts Choice, and gives the monkey-mind that tends to fix on negative things, a pleasant and positive alternative. Just keep feeling the air between your thighs, or seeing that gold gleaming in your bank account, or whatever it is that really turns you on when you think about it.

People need those kind of alternatives.

That’s why I want your help to Spread Love to End War as a grass-roots people’s movement.

Let me explain:

Doesn’t it stand to reason, that if we stop fighting ourselves internally, and learn to love ourselves really well, and spend more of our time in a state of supreme bliss, that we’ll be less warlike as a planet?

That’s my goal, because I know that if you love yourself well, you become a beacon to spread that love out to others who don’t have as many happy resources inside themselves.

And what happens when one center of love spreads the love outward? Other people start loving themselves! And outward it spreads, as a movement.

Like a virus, exuding love is infectious. People get happy just being around you!

Isn’t that COOL?

That’s why I’m bringing it back home with these tips, and in sharing more deeply on in our Love Your Life Again Class.

When you learn to love all of you, 100%, even your thighs, and your boss and your bank balance, those things CHANGE. Did you know that? Extra coolness.

Here’s another important tip on how to feel good. I think you’ll find it easy and even enjoyable to implement, to help you, and everyone around you to spread the Love virus:

LOVE YOUR LIFE TIP #2:

If we know the right questions to ask, we open up even more possibilities for happiness, in.come, relationship goodness, and other things you may be seeking. Here’s an absolute barn-burner of a question to ask – and not be attached to any answer or outcome of:

“What generative energy, space and consciousness can I be to manifest ______________?”

Fill in the blank with the SOLUTION you’re wanting – NOT the problem.

Then say: “Anything that wouldn’t allow that to happen, I uncreate, dissolve and release it completely”. Take in a big breath, blow it out, and let it all go.

Then, super-power this affirmation, with the ETHOS Method cues and step aside into your Unlimited Self where these problems don’t exist. You also might wish to use the One-Point acuhold if you respond best to meridian energy work.

If you have difficulty letting things go, want to join a Master Class in The ETHOS Method, or just want more support, love & joy in your life, please join us for the “Love Your Life Again” class. I promise, you’ll come out of this month-long class changed in ways that will delight you!

Is Now the right time to turn YOUR life around? If so, join us:

http://www.maryamwebster.com/love-your-life-again/

This material is literally changing people’s lives. I taught a large chunk of it last year in my three month 12 Keys To Bliss program, and am committed to EVERYONE having the same result as Sandy did in that class. She says:

“I want to give this class and Maryam a resounding testimonial!
I thought I was happy. I had a great life, good marriage, great
kids. But was I really blissful? When I thought about it I had to
admit no I wasn’t. I signed up more out of curiosity to improve
my life and got SO much more than I expected! It changed my life
for the better in many, many ways. I learned great techniques and
tools to set us on our path that I can use for the rest of my
life, that I can help my kids, teach my clients. They were easy &
simple to learn yet lifechanging and profound. I’m very very
grateful and happy that I’ve taken this class. Every day I enjoy
my life more and don’t feel life is passing me by.  I’m living my
life to the fullest!”

- Sandy Lenz
Hypnotherapist & EFT Practitioner
Bourne, Massachussets

Until next time, I wish you that same happiness and bliss – each and every day. Spread it around!

Learn To Love Your Life Again: The Tools, Techniques and Coaching To Get and Keep You Conscious, In Joy and Aligned With Your Highest Purpose Every Day

This is a Four Week Online Class with BONUS 5th Week in a private, state-of-the-art online eCampus, with Forums, Community Center, Audios, Videos & extra Resources. Facilicated by Maryam Webster, creator of the Energy Transformation and Healing Open Source Method.

Class takes place ENTIRELY online, and at your OWN PACE. You will have access to this class FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR and can download its resources, or listen/view online if you like

Using Maryam’s Everyday Bliss Process coupled with the powerful tools of energy therapy and The ETHOS Method in particular, you will learn these power tools:

• Grace Under Fire: Drop stress like a hot potato, the second it starts
• FightFear.fm: Keep the fear off your “radio station” to avoid attracting bad things
• Comfy & Clear: Get Conscious and Stay that way – be comfy inside your own skin!
• Trap Mapper: Avoid the 3 common traps that suck us back into unconscious misery
• Outsmart Your Own Brain: Short-circuit your primitive biology to stay Conscious
• FastChange: Hate your thighs? Your job? Your relationship? We’ll deal with it!
• Bring On Abundance: Wade out of financial muck using ETHOS in this EXTRA program!
• Fire Your Inner Executioner: Free yourself from those inner voices that torture you
• Painbody Pulverizer: gain immunity from the hateful situations it attracts
• Calm Children: Use ETHOS with your Children to deal with their issues & aid school success
• Goal Magnetizer: Use ETHOS in a startling new way to realize goals you never have been able to before

In addition, you’ll grab THREE  juicy bonuses that make up an entire SECOND CLASS in how to improve your life & success rate in every way:

• Maryam’s 9-Day Spiritual quick-read Self-Improvement Program: “Just For Today”
• The bombshell “Unquenchable Ethusiasm” by Napoleon Hill, which contains simple yet profound directions on how to get happy again. If you haven’t read this amazing work, it’s the foundation of “The Secret” and most other New Thought teachings.
• A TWO HOUR 5th Week of ETHOS Coaching over the most common issues participants have

Investment in Your Consciousness and
Happiness with Lifetime Access: $197
Invest now:

ETHOS, the Energy Transformation and Healing Open Source Method for Conscious Living is ONE YEAR OLD. Whee!

I’m throwing a big ol’ birthday party SUNDAY, AUGUST 23rd @ 11am PT/2pm ET to celebrate, and clue the community in on a lot of news and updates to the method. It’s free, but you need to register below, and as we’ll have updates (possibly at the last second), DO give us an email address you check every day. And yes Virginia, we’ll be recording.  B-)

Party Favors: There will be presents, updates, special guests and a chance to work with me on an issue of yours FIRSTHAND on the call – a rare opportunity indeed as I’m not currently offering private sessions.

You’ll also learn:

• How to Prevent a new stress-induced syndrome that affects billions annually
• Where emotional hurt really comes from and how to stop it in seconds
• Updates that make ETHOS even simpler, easier and more invisible to practice
• What brain research and neuroscience say about why we lose money & injure ourselves
• THREE MAJOR BLOCKS to having enough money & success – and how to stop them
• How I’m making money hand over fist by being lazy…and you can too
• Secrets of the greatest energy source on the planet & how to put it to work for you, right now

If you select “yes” below to a personal session, you need to submit a story of your experience with ETHOS (it can be short) to the “Sharing Your ETHOS Practice” forum. With ETHOS, you don’t have to share that much about your issue, in order to shed it though. 

See you there!

Remember when you were little and on a long car trip with your parents? At a certain point you started kicking the back of the seat, punching your brother and asking every two minutes:

“…are we there yet?”

Spiritual and personal growth is like that too.

Have you been “working on” yourself, or been on a “spiritual path” for a long time but just don’t feel there yet? Like you really don’t have the answers you want? Here’s how you finally get that, once and for all, in three different flavors for your pick ‘n play delight. Taken from advanced practices in my ETHOS Method (which sees its first birthday next month – woohoo!) and the Everyday Bliss Process.

In the below, the “thing you want to know the truth of” could be a decision, a thing to buy/acquire/maintain, a relationship, job, moving, getting the messages of and getting rid of chronic pain or symptoms – just about anything at all. The techniques you’ll learn here work equally well for all.

1. First Method: Take the item you’re wondering about the truth of and imagine it fitting into your heart. Does your heart feel heavy with that thing in there? Then it’s wrong for you. Does your heart feel light? Then that thing would be good for you.

2. Another take: Expand the thing you’re wondering about the truth of outside your head to the size of your room, then your house, then your city, state, country, the entire world. Expand that thing right out to the edges and beyond the end of the universe. What happens to it? If something doesn’t have enough substance behind it to nurture and sustain you, it will disappear or feel spacey. If instead that thing gets huger and huger and fills your entire attention span, then that is the truth of the matter.

3. And One More: Put your hand on your heart and your other hand on your solar plexus. Remember feeling very deeply loved, or in love – that time when it’s 100% joyful.

Yes, just like that. Just feel it, and how it feels in your heart and stomach.

Now, take your hands off your body and notice the floor, the walls, the color of your clothes.

Place your hands back on heart and solar plexus. Now remember a time when you felt the pain of rejection or breakup and feel that in heart and stomach. These are two poles like north and south on your “bliss compass”. Contrast this thing you wish to know the truth of against these two feelings. Which does it feel more like? Which feels lighter, more joyful, more irresistably attractive? This will be the truth of the situation, the thing you should do right now, that which you need to pay attention to. Go there.

These are three ways intimately connected with your own core truth. You can use these tools like a magnet to attract exactly that which is best and most desirable for your life.

Taken together and spiced liberally with ETHOS to step on into that Unlimited Self that doesn’t need protection spells, charms or symbols, you now have the Key that unlocks the secret of every conundrum you will ever be presented with.

What will you do with it? What doors, boxes, windows, gates and pathways will you choose to open? I’d love to see your thoughts on this below…

Maryam here, hoping this finds you well in the world and standing firmly inside your Un*limited Self today. I’m still taking time off on a creative hiatus, but there were a few things I wanted to let you in on today so thought I’d put a word your way.

I have a useful, no-cost audio for you below, that tattles on my life at the point of the interview, some practical tips on letting go and incorporates GREAT energy coaching…

A gift, from my dear friend and student Liz Lichti and her business partner Laura Whitelaw, a few well…interesting answers to the question you may have been wanting to ask: Why did I walk away from my business to follow my Bliss? (this is me at right a couple of months ago feeling pretty blissful, with The Book. After a day in the pool, man, was I ever sunburned!)

You’ll also learn how, when and why you can (and sometimes SHOULD) drop everything to follow your own Bliss too.

Get the scoop AND experience a live ETHOS demo with Laura, Liz and myself, in their Way to Bliss Now community and you’ll get a sweet bonus audio of theirs on abundance, as well:

http://thewaytoblissnow.com/blog/download-for-interview-with-maryam-webster

Hope you enjoy it!  I look forward to seeing your thoughts if you’d like to post them, in the ETHOS Method Community forums. And if you’ve never visited or posted before, this is your engraved invitation! It’s all here for you:

http://ethosmethod.ning.com

Further on me? Well, I’m having a lot of epiphanies, learning a lot of new things and reformulating the idea of what true value I would like to bring you in the future. I hope you’re following your own bliss and living in the Now, stepped fully inside your own precious, unique Unlimited Self and having a ton of fun with yourself, every day.

Health & Happiness!

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

The Everyday Bliss and ETHOS Method widgets will be unavailable through the site that created them sometime in March 2009 due to policy changes I don’t agree with. Here below is the ETHOS widget for your enjoyment, get it while it’s still here. Am investigating other options. Anyone know of any stable free widget creation source that can duplicate this kind of thing? Please comment this post!