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ETHOS Turns One: Come Join Our Party!

Monday, August 10th, 2009 by Maryam Webster

ETHOS, the Energy Transformation and Healing Open Source Method for Conscious Living is ONE YEAR OLD. Whee!

I’m throwing a big ol’ birthday party SUNDAY, AUGUST 23rd @ 11am PT/2pm ET to celebrate, and clue the community in on a lot of news and updates to the method. It’s free, but you need to register below, and as we’ll have updates (possibly at the last second), DO give us an email address you check every day. And yes Virginia, we’ll be recording.  B-)

Party Favors: There will be presents, updates, special guests and a chance to work with me on an issue of yours FIRSTHAND on the call – a rare opportunity indeed as I’m not currently offering private sessions.

You’ll also learn:

  • How to Prevent a new stress-induced syndrome that affects billions annually
  • Where emotional hurt really comes from and how to stop it in seconds
  • Updates that make ETHOS even simpler, easier and more invisible to practice
  • What brain research and neuroscience say about why we lose money & injure ourselves
  • THREE MAJOR BLOCKS to having enough money & success – and how to stop them
  • How I’m making money hand over fist by being lazy…and you can too
  • Secrets of the greatest energy source on the planet & how to put it to work for you, right now

If you select “yes” below to a personal session, you need to submit a story of your experience with ETHOS (it can be short) to the “Sharing Your ETHOS Practice” forum. With ETHOS, you don’t have to share that much about your issue, in order to shed it though.  ;-)


Name
Email
Would You Like a Private Session on the call with Maryam?

See you there!

Adopting Abandoned Tribes with Other-Half Services

Monday, February 23rd, 2009 by Maryam Webster

Seth Godin describes a “tribe” as a group of people that have characteristics in common that bind them in some way. Like a bunch of midlife moms, CPA’s, coaches-in-training, aspiring pilots, etcetera. Marketers typically look for tribes because tribes are niches and niches have wants and needs marketers have products or services to fill. Some complain they can’t find a niche or don’t know how to serve one. But there’s a way you can find such a tribe and ethically procure business from it easily, and in the course of doing your own thing.

Several years ago I was involved in a high-end program for such a tribe of close to a hundred participants, headed up by several “gurus” in the field. One of the perks was a lavishly decorated and branded online community promised to be filled with audio, video and special messages to help us learn. A core membership of thirty of us talked it up in the forum and discussed audios of teaching calls. The first month went by with only a brief greeting from each of the gurus.

The second month, two of the four teachers put brief “keep it up” posts in the forums – this was the only content contributed. Teachers were noticably absent when perplexed attendees asked an increasing amount of questions about the process. The final third month of this program passed without any further online content but call recordings.

When asked we were brushed off with “Oh, we’re very busy, ask people in the forum”. People began speaking under the table about their dissatisfaction. The so-called gurus didn’t keep their promises to the community. And as the experience ended, core members began to plan for closure of the online community.

Myself and two others stepped up, offered our expertise and reconstituted the community elsewhere and kept masterminding for the better part of a year. Though we did not set out to, we all got clients out of this, simply by being there when needed and being willing to jump in the gap. The three of us provided slightly different but complementary services that were the “other half” the original gurus promised to have provided but didn’t.

In such a situation, you can ethically serve a pre-existing tribe well and have the blessing of both the tribe members and the person/s who initially began service to the tribe. You’re relieving them after all, of work they clearly did not want to do. This process has been replicated many times by people I’ve observed in adopting nearly-dead networking clubs, Meetups, charities and just about any other group you can think of.

Here’s the process, outlined:

1. Notice or become involved in a tribe that you have the skills to serve. Bonus points if these folks are people you really like.

2. Notice that these people have been provided only half the service they really should have gotten with their membership.

- OR-

2.5. Notice that they have been abandoned by the original service provider who perhaps or provides clients a forum but then skips out on posting to it, or sells a product but provides no follow-up in how to “digest” that product.

3. Provide that other half of the service that they didn’t even know they wanted or needed, but love once they get. Note that you don’t need permission of the service provider who abandoned the tribe, nor do you necessarily need to inform them you’re doing it. Your unspoken contract as it were, is with the tribe, not the previous provider.

3.5 This “other half” service should speak to the tribe’s WANTS, not their needs. Why? Because Wanting something is far more emotionally charged – and therefore marketable – than something they know they need.

Contrast these two statements:

Purchase Statement #1: “I need a good business suit, my old one is worn out” and the accompanying heavy sigh at the thought of the money spent or because the person would really rather shop for clothes to go clubbing or hates crowded malls.

Purchase Statement #2: “Oh my god!I WANT that Armani suit with the Manolo pumps! I’ve just GOT to have it. Just wait’ll they see me at the office!”. It may not be disco wear, but it has if possible, even more cachet, mystery and allure.

The former statement is perfunctory, the latter a “must-do at all costs”.

Exactly.

4. Other-Half services needn’t be time-consuming or costly. A short report, a how-to audio, filling in on a forum, answering tech questions, sharing your rolodex of trusted service providers, providing a group space on your server to share uploads, donating time on your bridgeline, etc. are all low-time and cost to you, but highly valued to those you share these services with.

5.You naturally speak about your services and your offers in the course of providing the other-half service to the tribe. So do others, but the tribe, having identified you as a leader, will listen to you first in rank order of others who might provide the same service. Note: Speak of what you do naturally, in the flow of conversation, without being “sales-y”.

5.5. A larger than normal majority of the tribe you’ve taken over will be predisposed to accept your offer because they’ve had an excellent taste of your tender loving care. For those that do, contentment is a foregone conclusion as long as you continue great service to them. Done=Done

* The phrase “Abandoned Tribes” comes courtesy of Andy Wibbels (Twitterfeed: @andymatic), as we were brainstorming this idea around the other night. By golly, ya can’t beat that for a hook. Thanks, buddy.  ;-)

Bad Economy? Word of Mouth!

Monday, January 5th, 2009 by Maryam Webster

BadEconomy > fix > gosub=WordOfMouth.  (geeks in the audience can laugh at will) There’s nothing like a personal recommendation. After all, you’d take your BFF’s recommendation over an impersonal ad, wouldn’t you?

If your business is running a tight marketing ship this year and your team is scrambling for marketshare, you’ll want to pay attention to “The Buzz Canuck” – a canny word of mouth supporter, I met on SWOM – Society for Word Of Mouth. Especially if you, like many of my clients, are a solo entrepreneur, or your larger company is downsizing its marketing budget (as many are) – you can still leverage the Law of Attraction by Word Of Mouth to build your outreach, visibility an market share. What do you want others to be saying about you? As Buzz explains below, know WHY moreover, WOM is important as a marketing, relationship and just plain good business strategy:

Friend Rob’s 12 Days of Twitter

Monday, December 22nd, 2008 by Maryam Webster

Earlier in the AM popped a post through the box and in it, this delightful paen to minibloggers from Rob Schultz. You can follow Rob on Twitter here and follow me, Maryam here.  And enjoy Rob’s hilarious Twitventure…

Breast Cancer Survivor Tips & Bowling with Dad

Thursday, October 16th, 2008 by Maryam Webster

Kris Hart, from Pink MagazineBreast cancer survivor Kris Hart, right, vice president of global brand management at (casino operator) Harrah’s Entertainment, was still breastfeeding when she found out she had breast cancer. In this month’s Pink Magazine email, Taylor Mallory interviews Kris. Here are a couple of relevant highlights:

Hart’s Advice for Breast Cancer Newbies

1. DO take a breath and come up with a plan. The cancer has probably been in you for years, so you can wait a week.

2. DON’T make emotional decisions about your care. Get all the info you can before you make a decision.

3. DO surround yourself with people who don’t make you feel like a victim.

4. DON’T be afraid to ask for support. Your friends and family want to help.

Hart also adds her greatest challenge dealing with chemo:

"I have always had an innate sense of organization in my head. Since the chemo, and even now as it’s still in my system, I’m fuzzy. I can’t retain things, and I’m not as quick as I used to be. I can’t remember names as readily as I could. That’s really frustrating."

Maryam’s Note: Kris Hart, if you’re out there reading this, please check out the energy therapies (no drugs, no needles, no hassle, easy to learn and practice) like ETHOS, EFT and ZPoint to help "get your brain back". This involves the energy in your body, not in a box or machine. You’re using the natural energy an acupuncturist manipulates by putting needles in the body, only with the new energy therapies, you only tap on the acupoints, hold them gently and breathe, or use the energy solely in your mind. No gadgets or drugs needed!

Anyone dealing with fuzziness like this can regains clarity by practicing a couple of simple exercises to synch the hemispheres of your brain back up. Go to my page on that here:

http://maryamwebster.com/stressrelief

Do every exercise on the page, especially the Cross Crawl. This highlights part of the Bliss Coaching Process that is laid out in full in my book, Everyday Bliss For Busy Women.

PINK asks: How can colleagues help when a co-worker has cancer?

Kris Hart: "Be specific about how you want to help. Everyone says, "I’m here for you." But very few people will ever take you up on that. So say, "I’d like to bring dinner for you on Wednesday." Also recognize it’s not only the physical victim but the whole family that needs support. Someone called my husband to go have drinks. He was thrilled to get away too."

Maryam’s Note: I’ll second the "be specific" part. When Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the 90’s she deteriorated rapidly, and the community troups were marshalled to provide friendly visits for she and Dad. The best visit they had was after dinner one Tuesday evening from Bill Hall, a buddy of Dad’s from Rotary Club. Though Bill offered, Mom refused to let him go into the kitchen and get her usual offering of lemonade and cookies – it was important for HER to "do for" visitors as long as she was able.

Bill visited with the family for awhile, drank his lemonade and nibbled his cookies, chatting easily on a variety of topics. The ease with which he carried on conversation soon put Mom and Dad at ease. They reported during this time feeling pressed to entertain people and alleviate their discomfort with Mom’s cancering*, which only caused them to feel more stressed and tense after friendly visits than not. Bill’s visit was a welcome exception, doubly so because of what he did next.

After a polite amount of time had passed, Bill said to Dad: "Charlie, get your coat. You’re coming out bowling with me and the boys, and I won’t take no for an answer." Dad didn’t bowl, but he was too much of a gentleman to refuse such a public invitation. He went, had an excellent time, and Bill managed to wheedle him into coming to the "boys night out" from then on. It got him out of the house, Mom had a peaceful evening once a week to do as she liked, and Dad had a place to blow off steam and "be a regular fellow" as he put it. That’s important, and it was the best present a friend could have given him at this sensitive and crucial point in his life.

It doesn’t have to be a whole-hog fancy evening, any level of attention and caring is good. Just be there.

***          ***          ***

You can find out more and subscribe to Pink Magazine for Women Professionals here: http://www.pinkmagazine.com/index.html

Pink is about women having money and worldly power too – what activist and author Naomi Wolf calls "the last taboo". Canted towards C-level professional and executive women, Pink provides gathering opportunities at locations around America to help women network and excel in business.

* Cancering - Using the word "Cancering" creates a gerund, or non-finite verb form out of the noun, cancer. When you add the "-ing" to a word that is so definite, so negatively final, it transforms the disease into a process which can have a positive end – the disease process ends, but you go on. This is a form that I take from the teachings of Master NLP Health Coach, Suzi Smith, who reports that this simple linguistic change brings empowerment back into the equation for those living with this disease process.

Managers? Energy Coach Program is Open for Registration

Monday, August 4th, 2008 by Maryam Webster
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! 


The Certified Energy Coach Program is NOW Registering for the autumn, and I’m going to be teaching the brand spanky new ETHOS Method!

If you’re a coaching-oriented manager, executive or therapist, go pick up your free Startup Kit right now – we start in September. The Startup Kit includes the first week of class audios and sample workbook. Actually…it’s now the second week since the program’s been lengthened. (banner link opens in a new window)



Get your FREE Second Week Of Class At The Certified Energy Coach Program



If you’re a manager-coach, this coming semester is for YOU. You’ll learn QUICK and easy ways in how to energy coach our employees get past blockages that keep them non-productive, and how you can instill a culture of success that prevents burnout, increases efficiency and creates a calm sense of confidence throughout your team.

The Reluctant Entrepreneur: “But I’m not Motivated or Confident…”

Monday, June 23rd, 2008 by Maryam Webster

yes...This just in from correspondent J.W.:

"I got my NLP practitioner certification last year, but have been lacking the motivation, understanding and confidence to start up my own practice. Do you have any advice to give me to pursue a practice as my end goal?

Secondly, I’ve found it very difficult to use the techniques on myself as both client and practitioner, to help me move toward my goals, and away from problems. Are there any specific techniques you’ve found useful for working with yourself when you’ve been less than willing to change at that time?"

Hi J.W.,
Thanks for writing. The first question I’d ask you if you were my mentee is "why do you want a private practice"? You need to know the true answer to this before you can even begin to think about setting up shop. And btw, "to make money" is not a valid answer. That goes without saying. Now, why do you *really* want to have a private practice. This is something you should address with your coach.

I would also, personally, do a year of NLP coaching with a recognized master on your own issues if you find yourself so resistant to using NLP. You need to be a veteran of technique usage if you’re going to be selling sessions in that technique to your clients. If you’re not past your own resistance to the technique, you won’t be a good coach.

Also, if you lack motivation, then the goal isn’t juicy enough for you to pursue. Work with the goal in mind until you find one that fires you up so much you’re glowing, and you’ll have no trouble. Perhaps a special group of people really has your heart – Maybe single parents? Those preparing for exams? People who’ve just been through surgery? These are just a few "niches" you could mine – you’ll think of one special to you.

Confidence is gained through practice, so practice with anyone you can. I assign all my students coaching buddies for this reason – find a buddy who went through prac track with you and get going. 

And now some advice you didn’t ask for but desperately need: start right now to take as many service business marketing classes as you can. Your business is not "doing NLP", your business as such is "marketing yourself". And I mean that in the kindest, non-prurient sort of way. Marketing yourself as a provider of NLP of course, but no one knows what NLP is. Who cares, when all I want is to get rid of this headache I’ve had for ten years or motivate myself to finish my novel or whatever else your ideal clients want. EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than marketing the technique (forget it, it’s a waste of time) is marketing the many BENEFITS that working with you  can give to your clients.

We’ll be having a special class on Promoting and Filling Your Private Practice given by Energy Coach Institute trainers in the autumn. You can attend wherever you are in the world. Sign up for my newsletter (fill in the "Free Blisskit" form to the left of this post) and you’ll be in the know as soon as we announce the class.

Self-coaching -  floor anchors are the best way to process yourself using the basic "mother of NLP" process which works for anything: Present State + Necessary Resources = Desired State.

I’ll post this to my blog as it’s a really great question that might be of help to others.

Warm Blessings,
Maryam Webster
Director, The Energy Coach Institute

http://energycoachinstitute.org

Ain’t it a Pip?

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 by Maryam Webster

I just wrote the below to the folks taking the 12 Keys to Bliss class with us over at ECI and thought I’d share, as it really applies to all of us. I get the daily motivational niblet from TUT.COM. The messages come, "From the Universe" and they always touch or tickle me. This one though, my mom would have called a real pip. To wit:

Every once in a while, with gaps in time that stretch for eons, someone like you comes along who instinctively trusts their inner senses more than their physical senses, the unseen more than the seen, and whose life-insights are so piercing that they unwittingly blow the entire model of spiritual evolution to smithereens.

"Gabriel, did you register Maryam Webster’s epiphany yesterday? Raise expectations on all human beings another 72 gigatrons, and tell not a soul."

How do you do that?
The Universe

It’s worthwhile to note that this message is sent out to everyone who signs up. This is one of the more fruitilicious ones, but it does have a point. How can we all:

  • trust our inner senses
  • trust the unseen
  • stay present
  • have piercing life insights and epiphanies
  • do what we do for the highest good of all

Post a commment if you like. The folks in the 12 Keys course have been having a busy little dialogue about this in the ecampus, but I can’t share that with you here. You can however share your thoughts for others to read if you like. Just hit the button below and let us know: How would you feel if this message came to YOU, with your name on it, telling you that these things had already happened, were a foregone conclusion. What might the difference in your life be?

In my thinking for one, self-esteem would not be an issue. Neither would courage, bravery, personal strength or any of the other traits that people seem to have trouble with. This is a small subset of all the possible personal betterment practices. As a spiritual practice, this list above pretty much covers what a shaman, priest or priestess does. As spiritual teachers in our own lives, who are we when we have these skills native in us, and intact and functioning since birth?

In a future week, we’ll learn how to reinvent your early life to give you what you would like to have from birth onwards as skills, tools or other resources. And we’ll experience how our life changes in moments, and the different timeline that arises. Generally speaking, a much more copacetic timeline. Interested?

Your feelings on this would be lovely to read.

Warmly,
Maryam

Executive Communication Update: Tying Up The Threads

Thursday, November 29th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

"qvack"If you rely on an international team as I do in my business, instant messaging, or IM-ing, can be a lifesaver. Roland and his gang on whom I rely for just about all my virtual assistant work use Skype, Enrique at  who sets up my Joomla sites uses MSN Messenger, my college girlfriends network favors Google Talk, and the local event fixers use Yahoo Messenger (as does, paradoxically, my husband’s workplace).

I don’t like redundancy, and trying to arrange a conference between Roland and Enrique to introduce their services to old college buddy Jen was a frustrating mix of platforms or forcing someone to download an app they would never use again – until now.

When you coordinate different sectors of the world in your business, you either must all agree on a communication platform….or you must get Pidgin, which combines a triple handful of popular instant messenger applications in one. Download Pidgin:

http://www.pidgin.im/

You can now communicate freely, worldwide.   ;-)

Dragged Back to Gehenna…

Sunday, November 11th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

My buddy Donna Steinhorn, of the Association of Coaching Excellence just tapped me to reply to a post she made over at her blog on what we do to give away our power and how we can get it back. I’m happy to oblige with a few thoughts on the matter…good question!

Hey Donna, Donna!  For giving away power, I’ll have to go with you and say it’s getting dragged *back* into things that I had already found support on…then found support staff wasn’t doing what I needed them to. I’ve made out reams of instructions, spent personal time, taught them how to teach/create/whatever, and even set up a support help desk.

Yet, when the salami hits the fan, my students and customers complain directly to me as the buck really does stop here, on my desk. Sometimes though, no matter how much I gently redirect their complaints to the help desk, or counsel with an employee how to deal with the complaint on their own, I still occasionally, find myself embroiled in the thick of things.

This is a liminal time. Liminal, in the sense that it represents both a challenge and an opportunity. An opportunity, that comes to me in the form of empowering others to deal with things on their own that I have told the Universe I do not wish to deal with anymore. And by golly, it’s working, and the staff do their jobs really well for the most part. A challenge though, to shape gently and minimally, letting others do their own work without the temptation to become re-involved.

I stand on the threshold of two doorways, a hallmark of liminality.

One doorway, holds the new life I have affirmed over and over and over (and over…) that I want to lead. Not doing the "busy" in my job, but handing it off to others who are so much better at it. Not doing the main bulk of teaching in the post-graduate program I created, but hiring brilliant and qualified teachers from my own pool of graduates. Not coding every webpage and shopping cart item in my online store, but jobbing it out to the nicest VA’s in the world, who also run my help desk with polish and elan.

Life is good through this beautiful doorway. Life is as I want it to be. With this support system in place, I now have the time to create again that I badly needed, to cause my business and life mission (the two are indivisible really) to take off and truly fly. And lo and behold, it has.

But annoyingly sometimes, there is that other doorway. Rimmed in flame, in my imagination. The doorway through which previously ingrained pattern behavior wants to pull me backwards into the mental maelstrom of "no one can do it as good as I can!"  and "it takes me as long to teach them to do it as it would be for me to do it myself!".  Cue energy and power flowing away and down the drain.

That way lies insanity. Here there be Dragons.

While I have strayed back through the Flaming Door a few times in the past few months, such jaunts are becoming rarer and rarer. And it’s really okay if some folks think I’m a bitch because I don’t continually give and give and give to them of my time, expertise and energy, asking them instead to deal with the appropriate staff member. That nearly always happens when you make a shift like this. (watch for it…) And it’s okay if the staff doesn’t do it perfect, doesn’t get it right the first time or makes a spelling mistake (aaaaggh!!! pet-peeve-o-rama!) in official correspondence. Really, it is.

How I’ve made trips to the past in terms of pattern behavior dwindle to nothing is first by doing energy work, such as NLP processes, EFT, ZPoint Process or others on the patterns I know sabotage and weaken me. That done, I focus entirely on feeling good, to quote Wayne Dyer and Abraham-Hicks. Taking a page from Dr. Andrew Weil, I eschew the news more and more for reading things that educate and make me feel better and take also his prescription of a deep belly-laugh at least one a day…but you never can chuckle just once, can you?

And I take a leaf out of my own book on Bliss in slowing down, way down, no matter what. It’s a lifesaving move, and one you’ll thank yourself for. I remember Kim George’s sage quote: that nothing which is meant for me can be lost, and I reflect that I have all the time in the world, all I’ll ever need. That is a richness of reserve that keeps me looking towards the beautiful door, that keeps me going through it every day when I wake up, with singleminded intensity. 

Andy Andrews said that to truly succeed at anything, we must persist without exception. I choose to be happy every day. I choose to go through the beautiful door and live in the life I am dreaming into being. I choose to persist without exception in these things. That’s how I do it. There’s no "Secret" to it, there’s no magic other than consistently persisting in making these pivotal choices.

So how about you, dear reader? How do YOU give your power away and what do you do about it when you notice your energy going down the tubes to a power drain?

Leave a comment and let Donna and I know!  :-)

And…I’d like to tag Krishna De, Jasmine White, Tara Katchaturoff, Suzanne Falter-Barns, Andy Wibbels, Jennifer Louden and Ellen Britt! Tag, you’re it!