Everyday Bliss

Click to Read Part I here

Part II in a series dealing with the Modern Service Business on the Internet, pricing products, stuff you really DON’T know about our back ends (get your mind out of the gutter, it’s not what you think) and Scouting Badge Competency Filters

Crucial Knowledge About The Model & Product Range In Modern Service Industries

(stick with it – after the Crucially Cool & Deadly Accurate education bit, comes the cute & fuzzy punch line)

While the coach Amanda hired (see Part I of this article) may have mis-stated the tiered level of their services and products – and badly – there’s fundamentally nothing wrong with this approach as a business model.

This tiered pricing structure is a common model used in the coaching, therapy and internet marketing industries. As do thousands of authors, speakers and coaches, I use this model myself – offering a basic-but-still-valuable product for considerably less than the full-bore-workshop/teaching/coaching experience-with-lots-of-extras.

This helps people who can’t afford to hire us privately STILL benefit from the teachings we have to offer. I’ll continue to offer this model because it’s one way I stay in integrity with my personal goals by not excluding anyone, but also not giving away or cheapening the value of my own hard work.

Something to GET…and Get Over:

People DO NOT VALUE what is given for free. Check out any lottery winner ten years down the line and you’ll see what I mean. They’re right back to the state they were before they won (and squandered) all the money. If you want to truly value and USE a training or product, my sincere advice is to pay as dearly as you can for it.

When it hurts just a little bit to get something you want or need, you will value it ten times as much, use it over and over time and again, and grow exponentially from its benefits.

And in defense of the many who are in integrity about their teachings — most of us pack our lower priced trainings full of value and don’t misrepresent them. Those teachers are out there for you — when you’re ready, you’ll find the right one.

Education On How A Profitable Online Business Works

If you don’t run an online business, you wouldn’t necessarily know all the components that go into a pricing or product partitioning decision. If you have your own business, a lot of what I’m going to say now will be old hat. But remember that your clients and customers all too often don’t have such education. And because they don’t understand the back end of how a coaching or therapy business works, their perceptions can be a little skewed.

Here’s a little education on some of the basics if you’ve never seen the back-end of an online business. Pay attention, particularly if you feel prices asked are “unfair”. Here’s how the information marketing thing unpacks:

1) A full-price product or class or coaching group costs more because it’s more involved and much more work on my end and my team’s. We deserve to get paid well for our effort, this is the way online teachers, coaches and etc. make their money.

2) Only the person who creates the product knows the real value of it, and can set a fair price. If you don’t like the price someone set, move on and find someone teaching at your financial level or….uplevel your finances. There are coaches for that you can find by Googling “Financial” or “Abundance” coaching.

3) I can’t speak to anyone else’s business but my own so here’s my perspective as a business owner with a lot of calls on her time. My time is finite, so I choose to work in large groups where an hour of my time teaches anywhere from forty to hundreds of people. That way the message I have to get out to the world gets to the maximum amount of people, they pay far less than to hire me one-on-one privately, and I get paid well for the hours of research, composing, editing of the material, rehearsal if with others if present, and so on that take place before the class even begins.

4) Figure  for each one hour class you attend (even the freebies) perhaps 10 hours of thought and preparation went into that one hour. So you’re not just paying for an hour – you’re getting anywhere from eight to twelve actual hours of education condensed down into one for you….which is getting off cheap!

A coaching industry standard fee for a one-hour class in 2010 starts at $47. But if you figure 10 hours prep including the one hour of class, you’re paying a bit over FOUR DOLLARS AN HOUR. That’s totally CHEAP.

Therefore, don’t ask for anyone’s work for free.

4.5) I put plenty of free articles, teaching and coaching out there as do most coaches and teachers. If the person you want to learn from doesn’t, it would be good consumer feedback to let them know, and let them know you would be happy to test-drive any free products or trainings they put out for the payment of a great review. This will hopefully encourage your prospective teacher to consider putting out something in your price range. It won’t be the whole enchilada, more like a few good nibbles off the side. But it’ll still be delicious, filling and teach you something valuable.

And if you do get this….be happy. Send a glowing review (teachers really need these!). Work the program. Often it is helpful people like this that a vendor will decide to comp into their trainings. Couldn’t hurt to try, now could it?

5) Just as every teacher and coach out there, I can’t (and wouldn’t even if I could) give you the farm in a one hour class or free ebook, and have too much respect for myself and my hardworking team to give away our work for free other than the free telesminar and other events I already participate in.

Whatever price I put on my work is a fair representation of what went into it, is already made as affordable and as inexpensive as I can realistically make it. There are points of engagment at all possible levels.

6) The prevailing model that makes a coaching business profitable is teaching to hundreds at lower prices like $47 and $97, to a smaller group at the mid to high hundreds and to an even smaller, more intensely engaged-with group for several thousand, depending on the breadth and length of engagement.  It’s a good and fair model that allows win-win all around the board and allows a coach and their team to be fairly recompensed for their time and effort.

7) Which brings me to the point that there are TONS of expenses involved in creating a premium product that the buyer never sees or knows about, but that on our end, we need to recoup before we ever see a penny’s profit. That includes:

• paying monthly fees for shopping carts
• autoresponders so we can communicate with you
• merchant bank fees so we can sell our products easily
• packaging and fulfillment fees if a physical product
• help desk staff, assistants & editors
• website team who pulls it all together
• online research, marketing team and other unsung hero/ines of the journey

As an example in my case: multiple thousands in fees for a DVD project, for experts to shoot, cut, edit and so on. Plus untold hours writing, rehearsing and etc. on my part. The information is premium content that represents some of the best lessons I had to teach at the time. That DVD set like similar products others offer does not sell cheap. This is why. Paying rent or mortgage and buying food for our families is another reason why.

NOW HAVING SAID THAT….

And going back to Amanda’s example – Coaches/teachers/healers/etc. who misrepresent what you get in an entry-level product, constantly try to upsell you in a ham-handed manner are not cool.

Though….more than anything this indicates such a teacher’s immaturity, lack of learning or lack of enough time in the trenches. Your teacher acted irresponsibly, but remember that people also do this because they are:

(A) Scared

(B) Don’t know any better.

While you had a weird experience, it’s tremendously empowering to GIVE THANKS for the valuable lessons (you’ve learned more than you know), and to bless and release people like this. They *need* your blessings. And when you bless folks like this, it comes back to you, multiplied.

Plus, you’re aware of the integrity gap and how icky that feels.

Yay!

You now have a valuable tool to use in future situations like this. If you are or have ever been a Scout (GirlScout, BoyScout, Campfire Girl etc) – sew that badge to your vest, you now have a new and immeasurably valuable competency filter.

So really – you win in several different ways.

THE CURE: Having A Kitten In
Your Tummy Is Good For You

In any case, what about releasing judgment of the Unscrupulous Teacher… and also, of yourself? Judgment is never useful in such cases – we just use it to beat ourselves or others up with. What about thinking of making a “considered decision” and use that filter you gained to help you filter out the klutzes, the out-of-integrity & the just plain money-grubbing nasties? Done=Done

Now you know how good holding a baby, petting a puppy or kitten or getting a hug makes you feel…right? Feels good in the tummy, happy and warm, doesn’t it?

Look at the kitten…awwww…ain’t he cute? I had to take a break when I found this pic just to coo at it for several seconds. Happy and warm in the tummy. Mmmm…

Go for teachers who make you feel that way.

Who cheer for you, give you content with real meat on it, with rich juices dripping off in each encounter you have with them, who uphold your best interest in all ways, especially if you don’t even know what that is yet.

Teachers who tell you hard truths when necessary but always with love and more respect than you probably give yourself.

And who do this whether they are sharing a small piece of their particular pie with you, or the whole enchilada.

That’s a teacher, coach or therapist I’d want to hire and tell ALL of my friends about. That’s a precious resource to share with the world.

This is the reasonI try to bring great teachers I know and respect more exposure to a wider audience whenever I can. The more you SHARE resources like this, the greater will be your own benefit, and the benefit to all you expose these new teachers to.

On this flip side of all that this is – (and will you release that and all that these thoughts bring up NOW please….? Thank You)  there is the question:

Who do you feel about like a warm happy kitten in your tummy?

Who just “does it” for you? Who

- upholds you

- respects you

- loves you

- champions you

- GROWS you

just by being in your life?

If you’ve got that my friend, you’re blessed.

I’ve been so blessed many times in this life.

Am so thankful for many blessings.

The more thanks you give the more you have to give.

I intend the same for you.

Bright Blessings of Summer….

…Being a tutorial on How To Know You’re Being Scammed, How To Avoid Being Scammed & How To Make Lemonade In a Poor Learning Environment

PART I:

Amanda sounded-off on the previous post saying:

“I have heard several free teleseminars, and signed up for the $97 package….her offering was misrepresented (she apologized for that, but claimed no responsibility)…and essentially tells those of us who signed up that because we received such a large discount, we’re not getting the same benefits that her private clients get, AND if you really want the results that she promises, you need to sign up for the next level, at considerably higher cost.

I have learned many valuable tools but…I guess I’m feeling the “once bitten, twice shy” thing. I think the work is very valuable, …it just seems that some folks are working out of integrity, and then I’m left with the self-judgment of having made yet another “interesting” choice…”

First of all, THANK YOU Amanda for bringing up a number of issues here, that I think are  worth a more extended response, some talk about what fair and unfair is, and some general education that coaches, speakers, teachers and others who conduct information-based businesses really wish the general public knew.

I hope the following is helpful not just to Amanda, but everyone who has ever felt gypped, cheated, taken advantage of or used by someone selling a service. And on our side of the fence, every coach, therapist or other kind of teacher who has put their heart and soul into a product only to be told they stink, their product or training stinks and it’s not worth either the buyer’s time or what was paid for it.

The below is meant with respect, to educate.

And sometimes that takes hard truths.

Plus, there’s a lot that goes into running a coaching,
therapy or speaking business that you don’t know about, that bears on the decisions and behavior you’re seeing.

Put your dander in park.

Enjoy the ride.

The Map Is Not The Territory…

This NLP presupposition is particularly apropos when talking about He Said/She Said and other Point Of View type of situations.

The consumer has their point of view “I’ve been screwed” but the vendor has their own point of view too, which ranges from “I truly care about my customers and clients, I’ve done my best to explain the product and will deal fairly with them in whatever they need. ” to the less prosiac: “Screw the customer.”

Crappy trainings, constant annoying/unskillful upsell and dismissive teachers infatuated with their own mystique and the observations Amanda made about her experience  are the “elephant in the middle of the room” in the world of coaches and other service professionals. There are both unscrupulous people involved in selling their wares, as well as people who think they know what they’re talking about …. and simply don’t. And who just don’t get it. And who pass that not getting it on to an unsuspecting public.

Unfortunately, Amanda seems to have gotten one of these. I’m sorry Amanda, that you had that kind of experience. But having had that experience, you’ve actually come out more a winner than you know.

More about that below. But first to address everyone:

On the flip side of the disgruntled buyer situation, there’s the customer having unrealistic expectations of the class or product, or not knowing what they’re signing up for because they didn’t do the homework, or didn’t read the sales page entirely, check the guarantee or ask hard questions of the trainers before buying.

Each side of this equation has valid points, but there is a commonality: Education and communication. These are the key factors in why a training is perceived as “bad” after the fact or a customer feels scammed. This resolves into three categories:

1.  Either the teacher didn’t tell the prospective students what to expect

2. The teacher is lying (call it “creative accounting” if you will – amounts to the same thing)

3. The student expected much more than was ever on the table, and didn’t check those expectations out before they bought-in.

Let’s examine all sides of this equation. I’ll also give you some real Coaching Tips and a Cure for this problem you can implement immediately…

I’ll come out front and say I’ve been in situations, trainers/coaches/healers/etc. like this before myself. Several times early in my coaching training I took marketing trainings that ranged from decent to sucky. The suckier ones of these were inevitably given by someone who barely knew what they were talking about themself, or a self-styled “guru” who was too full of themself to care about their students once the money was in the bank.

While I’ve for the most part stopped taking such trainings, I do like to have a refresher every now and then. So earlier this year I participated in a training that had me rolling my eyes at the lack of integrity.

Like the training Amanda referenced, (though costing in the several-thousands) this program was very content-light and aimed at beginners when advertised (and sold to me) as advanced, the “guru” was rarely there when advertised as the main teacher, and she left the teaching to incompetent subordinates who simply read from the pdfs. Ugh. The training was definitely set up to be a clearing house for the even-more-expensive program the person was offering and heavily promoted throughout. And…the guru and her teachers seemed surprised that more of us didn’t want to buy into the next training. That always has astounded me, that you would give a shitty training, not look at your feedback forms to KNOW that it was shitty, then be surprised people aren’t begging for more.

I asked the hard questions before buying as well, and can’t call it anything but what it was. Her organization blatantly lied to me and to others I spoke with about the nature and scope of the training. NOT Attractive!

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Gurus, this is for you:

WHY on earth would you lie to a prospective customer who is clearly not in your demographic, or on the flip side, who doesn’t have the funds to pay your fees – even the least expensive ones?

Are you THAT BROKE with all your cars, expensive art, the  house in the country and the other one in the City and your elite Diamond and Platinum clients (that you constantly tout)  that you need to deceive people?

Because that’s how this kind of behavior comes off. And it ain’t cool. Not even close.

It’s downright chilly.

And as  karma is a very real force, I’m issuing a challenge to you to STEP UP, tell the Truth, even if it means losing customers. You’ll make a good friend and earn good-karma points by sending them to the people you know who DO offer what they need.

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…So sometimes Amanda, and others reading this -  even if you do all your homework you can still get a sucky experience. It was up to me to turn my experience around, mine the few valuable resources it contained and go on. I’d suggest you do this with any training you come up against that’s like this.

Oh and also don’t wait for things to get better as I did. I wanted to ask for my money back after the first week, when I found the “guru” wasn’t to be present in our actual class meetings. But I thought “wait and see”. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. So I let it go too long and the “ask for a refund by this date” blew past me. If you get that icky feeling in the pit of your stomach – pull out and ask for a refund immediately. Learn from my mistake please.

So yes, I get it.

Speaking as a business owner….taking responsibility for everything in my business, A-Z is the ONLY thing I can do and remain in integrity. I can pass some jobs off to other people who do them better than me (and do!) but the buck stops with me, the business owner. You too, I bet.

I’ve fluffed it with my students before and done my best to make it up to them. Sometimes due to family issues or pressures of writing a book or producing an intensely-engaging product, I’ve let commitments to my students slide. And mostly, they’ve understood, gone “Uh, hello – we’re here and we need help” and that’s all it took for me to get back to them. If you’re at this place in a training, schedule a one-on-one with the teacher and let them know they’re letting you down.

BUT CAVEAT EMPTOR: BUYER BEWARE.  BE SURE FIRST – that you have a reasonable expectation of a seller’s behavior and what you should be getting (what was promised) out of the product or program. If you were promised a private session with the guru and it hasn’t come to pass, call them on it. If you EXPECT an hour (or more) of coaching and only half an hour was promised – don’t go there. Be reasonable.

“When In Frustration” Coaching Tip:

On the flipside…when you’re dealing with little to no content, upsell-upsell-upsell and blah answers to your serious questions…it’s not very attractive, is it? Pisses you off. But, despite all that, those of us who have gone through this kind of experience have a really good filter set to tell those without integrity from those  we’d like better.

Take that filtering you gained, as a GOOD OUTCOME of this experience, along with the valuable tools you did learn.

Remember where in your body you FELT IT when you realized you’d been had. Then if you go for another opportunity like this, check in with that part of the body not once but several times before you make your final decision. This kind of thing happens no matter what the price of the intro product is. It’s the quality of the teacher involved, not the price point. Vote with your feet in such cases.

Amanda shares:“She tells us because we received such a large discount, we’re not getting the same benefits that her private clients get…”

Well that’s just dandy, isn’t it? It almost sounds like a “neener, neener, you can’t have any” when I’ll bet what she meant to do was entice you into buying up to the private client level. So your coach really doesn’t know how to communicate correctly. Not only did she misrepresent the benefits, but had crappy delivery. You’re miffed and I understand that.  You bought the product and by gosh, you wanted those results promised on the sales page! Fair enough.

I don’t know how the product was offered, if you were offered a choice of three tiers on the page and chose the least expensive, or just how it went down. But Communication is the issue here. Often a tiered stack is how such offers will be presented. Here’s how most of us do this, either in a sales page or through a sales conversation with someone:

“Inexpensive Package A gets these benefits ( typically followed by a bullet point list). Medium-range Package B gets all the benefits of Package A PLUS the following bullet-point list of extras. Expensive Package C gets all the benefits in A and B and ALSO these following bullet pointed benefits.”

That way, there are no mistakes, and your buyer knows exactly what they’re getting.

The Responsible Position, or, what your coach didn’t do:
As a business owner, if I realized I screwed up and people were disgruntled, I’d give them their money back and say so long if that’s what they wanted. I’ve done this when weirdness has happened and it’s always the best policy. No harm, no foul. Particularly if misrepresentation is on the table, you’ve every right to ask for your money back.

Also as the business owner, I’d want if possible, to repair relations with the disgruntled person, and if not, to have their angry energy out of my environment as soon as possible.

If you’re a coach, teacher or other service provider in such as situation – give back the money. Trust me, you NEVER need money like this. It’s poison that will contaminate the energy of your business.

Give it up.

However….let’s look at the other side of this equation – Outcome Expectancy.

On this side of the fence, the consumer can equally be responsible for what happens in a buying transaction. Lets  float an analogy of vendors at the county fair. After hearing a vendor extol the virtues of his apple PIE, a customer passes the pie counter, picks up and pays for a single APPLE….but  in his own mind for whatever reason, EXPECTS to get the entire PIE.

The vendor, happy with making an apple sale, adds value by caramel coating the apple, and  kicks in a coupon for a dollar off a whole pie. The vendor sees this as an “I’m being nice” upgrade.

The customer, due to their Outcome Expectancy of wanting the whole $20 pie for the 50¢ apple price, sees this as a scam and tells all their friends “The Apple Pie guy took my money and didn’t give me what I paid for!”

The sign in front of the apples says “Apples, 50¢”.  The vendor took 50¢ from the customer. That’s pretty transparent. So why does the anger happen on the customer’s part? He made assumptions way beyond the scope of the product’s stated worth or intrinsic value.

Ok, so this is a silly analogy, but you get the point and can extrapolate out to things you might have bought and been dissatisfied with.

Let’s just say this is the case with a product like a $97 taster sample of what that coach had to offer. It was fully explained on the sales page, the upscale training was also explained in a series of bullet points as outlined above.

Any training inexpensive as $97 is BOTH a complete training in – whatever facet of the major topic it is designed to address – PLUS a “taster” of the coach’s services should you wish to engage them at a deeper level. But it’s NO WAY meant to be a full training in the entire scope of the topic, A-Z.  That’s what the higher level trainings are for. You jump in, get your feet wet and if you like what you’ve learned, you level-up and get more info. This is the “college approach” where you take English 101 before English 201, 301, 401 & 501. Same idea. Such trainings are incremental and build on each other.

This common laddering of skills learning should not be seen as “scamming” by the public unless the trainer really poorly communicates this concept.

Let’s say the coach is on the up & up with this, and has fairly represented themself from the beginning.

But the buyer wants more and ASSUMES that ALL their needs will be fulfilled by the cheaper option. Well you know that old saying about assuming so I won’t repeat it here. Suffice to say before you buy, do a REALITY CHECK.

Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself:

1) Why am I buying this product?
2) What do I hope to get out of it?
3) Does what I want to get and my eventual goal match up to the description of the training or product?

if not…then consider another purchase.  If you STILL feel you should be getting a huge pretty package of more stuff than advertised for that price then…

Some tough love:

When you pay $97 for a cut-price hotel room do you complain to the manager because you weren’t given the honeymoon suite?  No, of course not. If you’d got the honeymoon suite for $97 you’d wonder what the heck was wrong with the room.

(I’d probably be checking the closet for Mother at this point)

The honeymoon suite, just like any premium level product, contains much more care lavished on it at greater expense – personal attention from an assigned wait-person, much bigger space and more amenities, an in-room spa, nicer bed, assorted extra food and toiletry items and so on. You’d expect to pay more for a premium product like that and be suspicious if the honeymoon suite were offered to you for peanuts. (as well you should be)

Ditto a premium priced coaching program where the coach spends more time on her clients, gives them extra insider secrets, or a private phone line to contact her with, or advanced training or free live events etc. that those who pay for lesser products don’t get.

You get what you pay for, and shouldn’t expect the Premium Product for a relatively cheap investment. And yes, the $47 or $97 class is a relatively cheap investment.

I’m not talking to anyone in particular here, but IF this speaks to your sentiments….why would you be miffed at not getting what a coach’s premium clients get for the substantially cheaper fee you paid for a reduced-service product?

Would you expect your doctor or dentist to give you such a steep discount? No. Don’t expect it of any business coach, therapist or other service provider. It disrespects the provider and yourself too.

Does that cheese you off?  Get Over It.  This is How authors, coaches, speakers, healers, therapists and everyone else, online or off, make a living.

If you’re a subscriber of mine & think we should be giving the product of our hard work, hearts and souls away for cheap or free – please unsubscribe from my list right this minute. You’ll be doing us both a favor.

And..this is why like many coaches, I do joint ventures with organizations like Maestro Conference and people like Linda Pannell, Lisa Garr, Debra Thompson,  Adela Rubio, Ellen Britt, Michelle Skaletski Boyd and Tom Buford to name a few. Folks who offer free teachings to anyone who can pick up a phone or listen on computer.

So that there is an option for folks who are cash-strapped.

So that there is a range of offers for all ends of the spectrum. And I pack that option as full of value for the short time we’re together as I pack my longer paid programs.

I Do Not however, serve the gratitude-free.

Neither should you.

TWO Coaching Tips:
Before purchase, ASK EVERY QUESTION YOU NEED TO about a product, the guarantee for that product, what exact parts the product contains and so on.

If you expected marketing training out of a basic EFT course and didn’t check it out, that would be one example of an incorrect assumption & expectation plus failure to verify parameters of the deal. DO. NOT. ASSUME.

So if you didn’t ask, your bad. If the vendor didn’t take every opportunity to clarify the parameters to you – their bad.

I personally have been on both sides of this, so yes I can speak to both the customer and the vendor bit. We’re all learning, making mistakes (there is no failure, only feedback – remember?) and growing. 

2nd Tip - WANT for others what you want for yourself. In the note above I asked you to unsubscribe if you wanted me to give you things that are immensely valuable for cheap or free. That means you don’t want me to make a living which besides being disrespectful also prevents YOU from making a living.

Check your feelings and your life – if you have this feeling of deep entitlement like the world (or me, or anyone else) “owes” you, how are your finances? Probably not great.

Truly abundant people want to share the wealth. It’s a lesson to take if you want to improve your life – want for others what you want for yourself.

Tune in again tomorrow for PART II: Crucial Knowledge, Scouting Badges & Why Having a Kitten in your Tummy Is Good For You

I’m tired of being constantly, relentlessly marketed to on social media sites by so-called “friends”. I had a what we describe in our house as a “little kitty fit” about cheesy marketing when I realized my entire Facebook feed for the last day was over 90% ads, marketing, thinly-veiled affiliate links and so on. DO. NOT. WANT.

If you’re that kind of friend, please do us both a favor and Un-Friend Me. Now. Thank you.

You can read it on Facebook, but let’s call a Memorial Day Moratorium on Cheesy Marketing – 90% or more market-y updates with little content, few merits and less than honest intentions.

Check it out here: http://bit.ly/9j9DAj

ETHOS, the Energy Transformation and Healing Open Source Method for Conscious Living is ONE YEAR OLD. Whee!

I’m throwing a big ol’ birthday party SUNDAY, AUGUST 23rd @ 11am PT/2pm ET to celebrate, and clue the community in on a lot of news and updates to the method. It’s free, but you need to register below, and as we’ll have updates (possibly at the last second), DO give us an email address you check every day. And yes Virginia, we’ll be recording.  B-)

Party Favors: There will be presents, updates, special guests and a chance to work with me on an issue of yours FIRSTHAND on the call – a rare opportunity indeed as I’m not currently offering private sessions.

You’ll also learn:

• How to Prevent a new stress-induced syndrome that affects billions annually
• Where emotional hurt really comes from and how to stop it in seconds
• Updates that make ETHOS even simpler, easier and more invisible to practice
• What brain research and neuroscience say about why we lose money & injure ourselves
• THREE MAJOR BLOCKS to having enough money & success – and how to stop them
• How I’m making money hand over fist by being lazy…and you can too
• Secrets of the greatest energy source on the planet & how to put it to work for you, right now

If you select “yes” below to a personal session, you need to submit a story of your experience with ETHOS (it can be short) to the “Sharing Your ETHOS Practice” forum. With ETHOS, you don’t have to share that much about your issue, in order to shed it though. 

Name
Email
Would You Like a Private Session on the call with Maryam?	– Yes

See you there!

Seth Godin describes a “tribe” as a group of people that have characteristics in common that bind them in some way. Like a bunch of midlife moms, CPA’s, coaches-in-training, aspiring pilots, etcetera. Marketers typically look for tribes because tribes are niches and niches have wants and needs marketers have products or services to fill. Some complain they can’t find a niche or don’t know how to serve one. But there’s a way you can find such a tribe and ethically procure business from it easily, and in the course of doing your own thing.

Several years ago I was involved in a high-end program for such a tribe of close to a hundred participants, headed up by several “gurus” in the field. One of the perks was a lavishly decorated and branded online community promised to be filled with audio, video and special messages to help us learn. A core membership of thirty of us talked it up in the forum and discussed audios of teaching calls. The first month went by with only a brief greeting from each of the gurus.

The second month, two of the four teachers put brief “keep it up” posts in the forums – this was the only content contributed. Teachers were noticably absent when perplexed attendees asked an increasing amount of questions about the process. The final third month of this program passed without any further online content but call recordings.

When asked we were brushed off with “Oh, we’re very busy, ask people in the forum”. People began speaking under the table about their dissatisfaction. The so-called gurus didn’t keep their promises to the community. And as the experience ended, core members began to plan for closure of the online community.

Myself and two others stepped up, offered our expertise and reconstituted the community elsewhere and kept masterminding for the better part of a year. Though we did not set out to, we all got clients out of this, simply by being there when needed and being willing to jump in the gap. The three of us provided slightly different but complementary services that were the “other half” the original gurus promised to have provided but didn’t.

In such a situation, you can ethically serve a pre-existing tribe well and have the blessing of both the tribe members and the person/s who initially began service to the tribe. You’re relieving them after all, of work they clearly did not want to do. This process has been replicated many times by people I’ve observed in adopting nearly-dead networking clubs, Meetups, charities and just about any other group you can think of.

Here’s the process, outlined:

1. Notice or become involved in a tribe that you have the skills to serve. Bonus points if these folks are people you really like.

2. Notice that these people have been provided only half the service they really should have gotten with their membership.

- OR-

2.5. Notice that they have been abandoned by the original service provider who perhaps or provides clients a forum but then skips out on posting to it, or sells a product but provides no follow-up in how to “digest” that product.

3. Provide that other half of the service that they didn’t even know they wanted or needed, but love once they get. Note that you don’t need permission of the service provider who abandoned the tribe, nor do you necessarily need to inform them you’re doing it. Your unspoken contract as it were, is with the tribe, not the previous provider.

3.5 This “other half” service should speak to the tribe’s WANTS, not their needs. Why? Because Wanting something is far more emotionally charged – and therefore marketable – than something they know they need.

Contrast these two statements:

Purchase Statement #1: “I need a good business suit, my old one is worn out” and the accompanying heavy sigh at the thought of the money spent or because the person would really rather shop for clothes to go clubbing or hates crowded malls.

Purchase Statement #2: “Oh my god!I WANT that Armani suit with the Manolo pumps! I’ve just GOT to have it. Just wait’ll they see me at the office!”. It may not be disco wear, but it has if possible, even more cachet, mystery and allure.

The former statement is perfunctory, the latter a “must-do at all costs”.

Exactly.

4. Other-Half services needn’t be time-consuming or costly. A short report, a how-to audio, filling in on a forum, answering tech questions, sharing your rolodex of trusted service providers, providing a group space on your server to share uploads, donating time on your bridgeline, etc. are all low-time and cost to you, but highly valued to those you share these services with.

5.You naturally speak about your services and your offers in the course of providing the other-half service to the tribe. So do others, but the tribe, having identified you as a leader, will listen to you first in rank order of others who might provide the same service. Note: Speak of what you do naturally, in the flow of conversation, without being “sales-y”.

5.5. A larger than normal majority of the tribe you’ve taken over will be predisposed to accept your offer because they’ve had an excellent taste of your tender loving care. For those that do, contentment is a foregone conclusion as long as you continue great service to them. Done=Done

* The phrase “Abandoned Tribes” comes courtesy of Andy Wibbels (Twitterfeed: @andymatic), as we were brainstorming this idea around the other night. By golly, ya can’t beat that for a hook. Thanks, buddy. 

BadEconomy > fix > gosub=WordOfMouth.  (geeks in the audience can laugh at will) There’s nothing like a personal recommendation. After all, you’d take your BFF’s recommendation over an impersonal ad, wouldn’t you?

If your business is running a tight marketing ship this year and your team is scrambling for marketshare, you’ll want to pay attention to “The Buzz Canuck” – a canny word of mouth supporter, I met on SWOM – Society for Word Of Mouth. Especially if you, like many of my clients, are a solo entrepreneur, or your larger company is downsizing its marketing budget (as many are) – you can still leverage the Law of Attraction by Word Of Mouth to build your outreach, visibility an market share. What do you want others to be saying about you? As Buzz explains below, know WHY moreover, WOM is important as a marketing, relationship and just plain good business strategy:

Earlier in the AM popped a post through the box and in it, this delightful paen to minibloggers from Rob Schultz. You can follow Rob on Twitter here and follow me, Maryam here.  And enjoy Rob’s hilarious Twitventure…

Breast cancer survivor Kris Hart, right, vice president of global brand management at (casino operator) Harrah’s Entertainment, was still breastfeeding when she found out she had breast cancer. In this month’s Pink Magazine email, Taylor Mallory interviews Kris. Here are a couple of relevant highlights:

Hart’s Advice for Breast Cancer Newbies

1. DO take a breath and come up with a plan. The cancer has probably been in you for years, so you can wait a week.

2. DON’T make emotional decisions about your care. Get all the info you can before you make a decision.

3. DO surround yourself with people who don’t make you feel like a victim.

4. DON’T be afraid to ask for support. Your friends and family want to help.

Hart also adds her greatest challenge dealing with chemo:

"I have always had an innate sense of organization in my head. Since the chemo, and even now as it’s still in my system, I’m fuzzy. I can’t retain things, and I’m not as quick as I used to be. I can’t remember names as readily as I could. That’s really frustrating."

Maryam’s Note: Kris Hart, if you’re out there reading this, please check out the energy therapies (no drugs, no needles, no hassle, easy to learn and practice) like ETHOS, EFT and ZPoint to help "get your brain back". This involves the energy in your body, not in a box or machine. You’re using the natural energy an acupuncturist manipulates by putting needles in the body, only with the new energy therapies, you only tap on the acupoints, hold them gently and breathe, or use the energy solely in your mind. No gadgets or drugs needed!

Anyone dealing with fuzziness like this can regains clarity by practicing a couple of simple exercises to synch the hemispheres of your brain back up. Go to my page on that here:

http://maryamwebster.com/stressrelief

Do every exercise on the page, especially the Cross Crawl. This highlights part of the Bliss Coaching Process that is laid out in full in my book, Everyday Bliss For Busy Women.

PINK asks: How can colleagues help when a co-worker has cancer?

Kris Hart: "Be specific about how you want to help. Everyone says, "I’m here for you." But very few people will ever take you up on that. So say, "I’d like to bring dinner for you on Wednesday." Also recognize it’s not only the physical victim but the whole family that needs support. Someone called my husband to go have drinks. He was thrilled to get away too."

Maryam’s Note: I’ll second the "be specific" part. When Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the 90’s she deteriorated rapidly, and the community troups were marshalled to provide friendly visits for she and Dad. The best visit they had was after dinner one Tuesday evening from Bill Hall, a buddy of Dad’s from Rotary Club. Though Bill offered, Mom refused to let him go into the kitchen and get her usual offering of lemonade and cookies – it was important for HER to "do for" visitors as long as she was able.

Bill visited with the family for awhile, drank his lemonade and nibbled his cookies, chatting easily on a variety of topics. The ease with which he carried on conversation soon put Mom and Dad at ease. They reported during this time feeling pressed to entertain people and alleviate their discomfort with Mom’s cancering*, which only caused them to feel more stressed and tense after friendly visits than not. Bill’s visit was a welcome exception, doubly so because of what he did next.

After a polite amount of time had passed, Bill said to Dad: "Charlie, get your coat. You’re coming out bowling with me and the boys, and I won’t take no for an answer." Dad didn’t bowl, but he was too much of a gentleman to refuse such a public invitation. He went, had an excellent time, and Bill managed to wheedle him into coming to the "boys night out" from then on. It got him out of the house, Mom had a peaceful evening once a week to do as she liked, and Dad had a place to blow off steam and "be a regular fellow" as he put it. That’s important, and it was the best present a friend could have given him at this sensitive and crucial point in his life.

It doesn’t have to be a whole-hog fancy evening, any level of attention and caring is good. Just be there.

You can find out more and subscribe to Pink Magazine for Women Professionals here: http://www.pinkmagazine.com/index.html

Pink is about women having money and worldly power too – what activist and author Naomi Wolf calls "the last taboo". Canted towards C-level professional and executive women, Pink provides gathering opportunities at locations around America to help women network and excel in business.

* Cancering - Using the word "Cancering" creates a gerund, or non-finite verb form out of the noun, cancer. When you add the "-ing" to a word that is so definite, so negatively final, it transforms the disease into a process which can have a positive end – the disease process ends, but you go on. This is a form that I take from the teachings of Master NLP Health Coach, Suzi Smith, who reports that this simple linguistic change brings empowerment back into the equation for those living with this disease process.

The Certified Energy Coach Program is NOW Registering for the autumn, and I’m going to be teaching the brand spanky new ETHOS Method!

If you’re a coaching-oriented manager, executive or therapist, go pick up your free Startup Kit right now – we start in September. The Startup Kit includes the first week of class audios and sample workbook. Actually…it’s now the second week since the program’s been lengthened. (banner link opens in a new window)

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If you’re a manager-coach, this coming semester is for YOU. You’ll learn QUICK and easy ways in how to energy coach our employees get past blockages that keep them non-productive, and how you can instill a culture of success that prevents burnout, increases efficiency and creates a calm sense of confidence throughout your team.

This just in from correspondent J.W.:

Hi J.W.,
Thanks for writing. The first question I’d ask you if you were my mentee is "why do you want a private practice"? You need to know the true answer to this before you can even begin to think about setting up shop. And btw, "to make money" is not a valid answer. That goes without saying. Now, why do you *really* want to have a private practice. This is something you should address with your coach.

I would also, personally, do a year of NLP coaching with a recognized master on your own issues if you find yourself so resistant to using NLP. You need to be a veteran of technique usage if you’re going to be selling sessions in that technique to your clients. If you’re not past your own resistance to the technique, you won’t be a good coach.

Also, if you lack motivation, then the goal isn’t juicy enough for you to pursue. Work with the goal in mind until you find one that fires you up so much you’re glowing, and you’ll have no trouble. Perhaps a special group of people really has your heart – Maybe single parents? Those preparing for exams? People who’ve just been through surgery? These are just a few "niches" you could mine – you’ll think of one special to you.

Confidence is gained through practice, so practice with anyone you can. I assign all my students coaching buddies for this reason – find a buddy who went through prac track with you and get going. 

And now some advice you didn’t ask for but desperately need: start right now to take as many service business marketing classes as you can. Your business is not "doing NLP", your business as such is "marketing yourself". And I mean that in the kindest, non-prurient sort of way. Marketing yourself as a provider of NLP of course, but no one knows what NLP is. Who cares, when all I want is to get rid of this headache I’ve had for ten years or motivate myself to finish my novel or whatever else your ideal clients want. EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than marketing the technique (forget it, it’s a waste of time) is marketing the many BENEFITS that working with you  can give to your clients.

We’ll be having a special class on Promoting and Filling Your Private Practice given by Energy Coach Institute trainers in the autumn. You can attend wherever you are in the world. Sign up for my newsletter (fill in the "Free Blisskit" form to the left of this post) and you’ll be in the know as soon as we announce the class.

Self-coaching -  floor anchors are the best way to process yourself using the basic "mother of NLP" process which works for anything: Present State + Necessary Resources = Desired State.

I’ll post this to my blog as it’s a really great question that might be of help to others.

Warm Blessings,
Maryam Webster
Director, The Energy Coach Institute

http://energycoachinstitute.org