Everyday Bliss

In case you missed all the clues I’ve been dropping on Twitter, FaceBook, LinkedIn and other places, I am going to be spending my birthday month of APRIL IN PARIS, baby! Paris! (pictoral tour of the ‘hood is down below) Yep, I’m leaving the hubby and kitties at home and going on an all-inclusive American Woman’s Dream Vacation of a Lifetime to celebrate that once in a lifetime marker for a woman:

TURNING 50 YEARS OLD
(made it…whew!)

And…stay tuned because I’m going to make it possible for YOU TO COME WITH ME. Yep, you read it right,

YOU CAN COME TO PARIS WITH ME!

While not everyone can jump a jet and come on over, you CAN  check it out live and won’t have to leave the comfort of your armchair. Promise. I wouldn’t go without taking everyone interested in evolution, transformation, a LIVE ETHOS workshop, new friends, gourmet food, sexy accents and having a good time!

Hold onto your hats: there’s more juice in this baby than a whole orchard full of fresh peaches!

You probably already know that 25 years ago I was hit by a drunk driver and paralyzed, gaining over 150lbs. And how it took me nine years to walk, even though the doctors said I would never walk again.

I’ll be teaching some super-secrets of how I taught myself how to do “the impossible” and reverse paralysis, PLUS how I’ve lost 70+ pounds in the last year and a bit. Add to that my own “energy facelift” exercises and how YOU too can learn to:

“ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE”

• Everybody’s been asking me why my pants are falling off! You’ll have a ringside seat as I CONTINUE TO LOSE WEIGHT in Paris, scarfing down all that lovely  gluten-free super-fresh French market food. I’ll teach you how to make some of my favorite yummy dishes too, so you get “Gourmet Paris” and “GlutenFree” too.
• Yes, I’m down four sizes and counting. You’ll learn some of my extra cool weightloss secrets, too
• Plus you’ll visit Parisian restaurants, get to meet neighbors and friends and get the scoop on famous landmarks and not-famous-but-cool Parisian places, people and things.
• You’ll even get to help PLAN MY DAY by telling me where YOU want to go in Paris. I’ll  take you with me – it’ll be the next best thing to being there!
• And of course, you’ll also learn how to Achieve The Impossible in your own life through THIRTY WHOLE DAYS OF LIFE-SHIFTING LESSONS, learning how to get yourself to Possible and Do-able. That’s the Whole Point. 
• You also really need to be here if you’ve always wanted to have a super jumbo deluxe vacation for yourself and you never got to take one.
• Oh yes, there will be massage and spa stuff. And coffee. And sidewalk cafe action. And girlfriends. And a live ETHOS Workshop. And lots and LOTS of energy.

I’ll be getting back to you a little later on the specifics, but if you’re interested in becoming an Early Adopter (we reward Early Adopters very heavily around here)  you can join the  “Achieve The Impossible” Experience in Paris  by filling in this handy form. I’ll be holding some very special calls and giving you previews of what’s going to happen and also what isn’t. Only those on this list will get notification of these juicy free calls, so do sign up now – I’ll even send you a free gift!

Since Thanksgiving of last year, I’ve been contemplating something very big. Quite out of the ordinary and not what you might expect but…I seem to specialize in doing things not the way everyone expects and with the most amazing outcomes no one could have predicted.

In fact, you could say doing the unexpected is something of a brand identity.

I’m going on an adventure, that expresses every single one of the Bliss Keys.

For my fiftieth birthday…

And quite by myself…

Somewhere far away where English is not spoken so often…

And adventures, history, romance abound.

I couldn’t talk about it until now because I didn’t know if it would come together.

But this is an adventure I want to take you on. An adventure we can have together, no matter where you are.

Initially I wanted to take my five best girlfriends and ship all of us out on a cruise of the Greek islands for my 50th. But one by one those friends have dropped by the wayside in myriad of no-fault ways that were nothing more than just growing apart with different agendas.

Now I have new girlfriends who are even cooler and more hip to what I’m into, but I really get that this timeperiod is about me and me alone. Stepping into Unlimited Self it is all so clear, so easy…

to set aside an epochal moment to savor first and alone…
to suck the marrow out of
and grow new wings…
to fly boldly into the unknown,
shrieking with wild, ecstatic laughter
to harvest the burgundy-currant juice of deep wisdom
to savor the clarity, aliveness and precious living in each and every day.

Stay tuned, there will be more. Now that the decision is made, watch what unfolds…

It’s thrilling to be on the precipice of something new and amazing.

What are you doing that is bold, fearless, outrageous and entirely in the service of yourself, for once?

What are you doing to serve your own highest needs today?

Please comment and let us all know, and I’ll be back with more later…

(scroll down for the apocryphal picture of me at close to max weight…and today’s version…)

I am fortunate enough to have a very good friend in social media expert Andy Wibbels (@andymatic on Twitter). We’ve masterminded and built our businesses side by side for years and he has been such a help and such a darling friend to me. Color me very grateful for this high class, high value friendship.

We met when Andy still lived in Chicago. When he and Ron and kitties Astroboy & Downy moved out here in 2008, Andy stayed with us while interviewing at SixApart, where he worked until recently on their TypePad, Vox and other products. Now he’s graduating to the bigtime and toddling off to North Carolina to work for sales shark Jeffrey Gitomer. I’m so proud of Andy I could bust. Love him like a sister. k

We’re getting in a lot of celebrating, dinners and theater, ballet and shows before they leave. Tonight we went to Swan Lake, which was great, though missing the iconic dying swan scene at the end. In Helgi Tomasson’s production of the San Francisco Ballet, Odette simply jumps off a cliff – offstage.

WHERE WAS MY DYING SWAN SCENE?! I waited the whole doggone ballet to see it. Ron was similarly taken aback. You just don’t cut the dying swan. It isn’t done.

At any rate, for afters we went back to the boys’ apartment and shot the breeze as long as eyes stayed open. Followed by a picture taking session (which followed the food pics at Santorini earlier in the evening). The below right picture is tonight’s. The one on the left is of me two years ago almost to the day. That chin is pretty much a straight line from under-lip to collarbone, and was a triple roll at my high weight.

BTW, I got that wrong in the caption below. (hey, it was late at night)  I went back to my records and found I weighed more like 265 in the lefthand picture, not 280. But once I got that large, I stopped counting as many do, so the lapse is understandable. 

All the cutting & sculpting done on this body happened pretty much in eight months. Close to 70 pounds, 5 dress sizes, 1 shoe size, 3 bra sizes and 2 chins down, plus over 6″ off my abdomen so far.

I didn’t effort, I just had fun.

I didn’t restrict my eating, I had what my body wanted. How I did it will be the stuff of a future workshop. Something to look forward to! For now though, photos unretouched, just captioned…

I’ve been a psychologist, shamanic practitioner and trainer for 30 years. My longevity as both a student and teacher of mental and spiritual processes is what prompts my comment on good buddy Andy Wibbels’ recent post on the James Arthur Ray Sweatlodge Deaths which I reproduce most of below.

What gets me is on page 12 of the James Arthur Ray International Co’s Search Warrrant (http://bit.ly/4zDRlm) that Ray played “God” and if anyone did anything he didn’t like would point to them and say “You’re dead”. The person then had to play dead until Ray told them they could “live” again.

Ye gods. What an egotistical sham.

How could otherwise rational people be taken in like this?

I’ve been pondering this question several decades and wrote a scholarly paper on it back in the 90’s. This seems to be the question most people are asking. From a therapeutic perspective, these people were so very desperate for approval that they abdicated their good sense in favor of Ray’s good graces.

But even so…there were way too many early pointers to disaster that the average person should have been able to sense. IF – and this is pivotal – their better judgment had not been intentionally crippled prior to the incident.

I was blessed to be trained in shamanic practice by a real elder whose kindness, deep wisdom and grace inoculated me against ever getting involved with scams like this, no matter how glowingly packaged or how much I wanted the transformation promised. More on that, and this whole mess here: http://bit.ly/OnSpiritualAbuse

One of the first things ego-identified cult leaders do is to wean people from their support networks, their internal sense of right and wrong and teach them their natural bodily reactions are not to be trusted.

Ray did all three. The affidavits list numerous times Ray’s seminarians came to harm – breaking bones, death, suicide, subsequent mental illness…a shameful laundry list that incredibly, has been growing since at least 2003 by current eyewitness reports.

I still do not understand why this man is not behind bars right now.

When I was a therapist, I had a history in dealing with spiritual abuse survivors and developed a certain amout of expertise in being able to spot the fakes and engage proactive protection. As a community gift for 2010, I’m rewriting my early-90’s paper on surviving and avoiding such situations, to more broadly address a wide range of spiritual abusers. Even in well-meaning communities, inexpert group therapy perpetrated by leaders often results in harm to the participants. Most of this is inadvertent, but sometimes it is not. Here are some excerpts that I hope might be helpful:

When human ego is stoked by the drugs of greed, money, ambition and adulation, there is always danger and high potential for abuse.

Some tips for folks in any potential spiritual or mental abuse situation:

Always trust your gut. ALWAYS. No matter what anyone tells you, no matter how initially comfortable you feel with a leader or group. Do you feel queasy or like you’ve been slimed around a leader or teacher you once trusted? Your gut-wisdom is your final defense against harm to the organism. Trust it.

A measure of discomfort is sometimes necessary to grow and change. BUT -

* If you feel Ill either emotionally or physically during a lecture, process, workshop, etc. and it gets WORSE or doesn’t go away – LEAVE.

* If a teacher’s words or behavior make you feel BAD about yourself or ridicule others – LEAVE.

* If a teacher encourages you to drop associations outside of their group, particularly with old friends or family – LEAVE.

* Just as a rule of thumb: ONLY do intense mental/spiritual processes (and definitely those of native origin) with someone who is HIGHLY trained to offer them.

* Do a thorough background check on anyone offering a sweatlodge. Who trained them? Who trained that person’s trainer? What is their track record? Do they have people who have been through the entire process that you can speak with about their experience? Do they have medical staff or medically trained assistants on standby?

* Check the teacher’s exterior relations: What is their relationship with their local Better Business Bureau or Chamber of Commerce if they are a commercial concern? How do other teachers/leaders regard them? Do they have testimonials from anyone OUTSIDE their own organization familiar with their work – in other words, not only testimonials from adoring acolytes or outside parties who haven’t really experienced the work.

These are reasonable questions to ask ANY leader of ANY training like Ray was offering. Most teachers are scrupulous and will have no problem giving you cogent answers. Most are proud of their lineages and will readily cite them, on their websites, in other documentation or to your face if you ask.

* If the teacher you’re investigating refuses to answer, ridicules you for asking or becomes upset – LEAVE. Behavior like this is indicative of ego-strength too low to be teaching or advising anyone.

STAY CENTERED.

DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO….

ESPECIALLY IF YOUR GUT SAYS DIFFERENT.

If in doubt, check your participation in such ventures with friends, family members or professionals you know to be rational and un-invested in your decision.

Thanks for reading and please pass these tips on – they could save a life.

Maryam’s Holiday Hooray, Shiny Presents
Included, Loads ‘o Wisdom Winter News

CONTENTS
* Holiday Gratitude & New Direction
* Solstice (OMG!) Call Replay, Gifts & Rocky Roads
* French Ingenuity, Transparency Redux & My Motley Past
* Busy Women: Freebies For The Tired & Time-Starved Family
* Transformation Tool: EVOLUTIONARY ENVIRONMENTS
* Availability Pledge, Jaw Surgery & Are We Connected?
* Old Family Recipes: Organic, Gluten-Free Yuletide Wassail Bowl

Welcome To The Party…

This is my WHACKIN’ HUGE LOAD OF PRIMO CONTENT, tons’a prezzies, and catch-up letter for the year.

There’s some interesting stuff in here – teeth video, mom’s meal planners, transformers, my motley past, a commentary on gurus and a whole basket of yuletide g’ifts & goodness. Check the index above for juice-factor!

A very Merry Christmas and Solstice this week to you. I wanted to give you yuletide greetings while also telling you how very much I appreciate you.

I am deeply grateful for everyone who is tuned into the Now, and interested in raising consciousness on the planet like I know you are. At least, if you’re hip to joining this community, I hope you’re into waking up the planet and spreading a wave of consciousness throughout the world. We’re going to be doing a lot of that in 2010 together, so get ready – fun times ahead!

Oh by the way, I should mention that in this last year I’ve taken off to rest, reflect, refresh and retool, my business has changed a good deal. I’m not ready to say much more until after New Year’s, but Consciousness-bringing is definitely the direction. More later on that

*** FREE Replay of The Solstice World Transformation Ritual & Rocky Roads Ahead ***

We had an amazing time Monday during the exact time of Winter Solstice, doing a ritual of clearing out the old, bringing in the desired and learning how each of our lives is sacred and how we are all priest/esses in our lives. I’m not using that as a religious term, but a spiritual one, for we are all here as teachers and students of each other.

We had five beautiful Priestesses of Dawn attend us with blessings of sacredness & joy which I can’t begin to put into words. You should hear theirs – I’m offering the replay and the TEN different gifts we put together into a “Make 2010 The Year You REALLY SHINE” package.

It’s awesome-sauce! And available for replay to soak up those wonderful lessons & techniques, if you let me know your opinion on some really important issues:

http://bit.ly/SolsticeGiftReplay

I’m committed to serving you so much better in 2010 than I have in the past. There may be some rocky roads ahead for our planet, and some big changes for us as human beings. I’m stepping up in service of supporting and forearming people like you through those changes, with a magic bag full of easily learnable tools to help you accomplish that Big Mission of yours.

That’s one of my most cherished 2010 goals.

But to do that, I need you to tell me what YOU really want and need to have happen in your life this year.

I know that time is precious and valuable. So I’m willing to make it worth your time – there’s a bunch of goodness waiting for you at the end of this rainbow:

http://bit.ly/SolsticeGiftReplay

Thanks – it will help SO much!

From the Blog: French Ingenuity, Transparency & My Motley Past

An absolutely amazing video of French students doing stop-motion chair dance shows us a new Bliss Key: Cheerful Cooperation. When you engage this Bliss Key, the Bliss Blocker it unlocks is twofold:

1) The Need To Be Right – those who need to be right are rarely happy
2) Self-Isolation, leading to depression

Great winter blues cure here: http://bit.ly/CheerfulCooperation

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Transparency, Gurus, Gory Details & Telling Secrets – trending topics over at the blog and ’round about the web since the James Arthur Ray sweatlodge deaths. This is part of that discussion:

Transparency, translucence, living a conscious life – or whatever you call it, is not only the birthright and destiny of every human, but also our responsibility to the future. Our choices are essential, each one important, even east or west, choosing paper, plastic or bring-your-own, choosing to remain conscious in the face of frightening and destructive acts of unspeakable evil, or parking a block away.

We bear witness.

We choose with our intention and our energy the best and most evolutionary choices we can possibly make given our individual situation. Only we can make that choice, no one can do it for us. It’s called taking personal responsibility and it’s a Rubicon we all have to cross at some point in adult life to become fully human.

And we know that while (often intensely) impactful, our situation is not personal. Such a situation or lesson, if we choose to see it this way, is given to billions. Lessons are 100% Universal.

Thinking further on this brought me to the universals in how humans encode their experience that created The ETHOS Method.

What else is Universal? Living life asleep. And the ability to wake up, will do for a start. Spread the Wave – Consciousness will set you free. Really.

More on transparency and my motley past here: http://bit.ly/transparencysecrets

Here is the original post: http://bit.ly/translucentadvantage

And how to stay Unlimited: http://bit.ly/keepunlimitedstate

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The post that’s really got folks buzzing, on spiritual abusers in our midst, offer of abuse-prevention how-to and some details of my er, motley past – comment stream is also worth a read:

http://bit.ly/resurrectingthepast

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Head’s Up Moms: FREEBIES For The Tired & Time-Starved Family

Moms especially will love this collection of f’ree downloadable organizer pages for your day, week, month and year. Three whole pages, about eighteen different forms in all to print and help organize the chaos of an active family! There’s a fall cleaning checklist, the “Eat Sheet” for a week’s worth of meals, a weekly family calendar, baby’s schedule, infant babysitter checklist and more. You don’t even have to sign up, just download:

http://www.mommytracked.com/downloads

There’s more of the same (only different) over at http://www.cozi.com/ too. Check ‘em both out!

Transformation Tool: EVOLUTIONARY ENVIRONMENTS

One of the evolutionary environments I indulge in frequently is
my back garden. From the covered deck, I can observe wildlife and
rejoice in my fur-daughters’ play. I love it, and it evolves me
uniquely well.

http://bit.ly/greengardenafternoon

This is a Mellowvision vid for you to relax to. I like making panoramas as turning in place is fun. Now you see what I see every afternoon. I’m out there rain or shine, it’s a must for mental health.

Enjoy!

Availability Pledge, Jaw Surgery & Are We Connected?

I pledge to be more available to you in 2010. For one thing, I’ll be making lots of videos from now on. I’ve gone a bit video nutty really, as I’ve used my Flip Mino to exhaustion and happen to know Santa is dropping off a Kodak zi8.

(will it be aqua or raspberry? dunno…the Bear wouldn’t tell)

Of interest is the fact that in the new year I’ll be having jaw surgery. Not cosmetic, apparently I have really strong bones (a good thing since Mom had osteoporosis) and they’re crowding my teeth too much – several teeth need to be reseated in the jaw. Yuck, yuck, yuck. It’ll be gnarly, but I’ll be documenting this and how I’m dealing with discomfort. We’ll be doing a pain management class next year.

Interested in learning to get rid of pain? Again, let me know here:

http://bit.ly/SolsticeGiftReplay

And I’m going to be offering ways in which we can easily talk together about what’s important in 2010. A few are available right now, and the team is hard at work developing more. Are we connected? I’d love it if you’d Friend me on:

Facebook: http://facebook.com/maryamwebster
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryamwebster
Follow on Twitter: http://twitter.com/maryamwebster

Old Family Recipes for Yule: Wassail Bowl

“Wassail and wassail all over the town,
Our Cup it is white and your ale it is brown…”

– Gloucester Wassail, arr. English Traditional

Wassail is a contraction of the old Anglo-Saxon phrase “wes thu hal” meaning “To Your Health”. And of course, the traditional toasting beverage of  this  “best time of the year”  ~ which in this case is a non-alcoholic hot apple cider punch we serve for the winter holidays. It is never served any other time of the year. You can twiddle the ingredients about a bit, Graines of Paradise may be hard to come by but you can substitute pink or green peppercorns or just leave it out.

Want to up the octane? Add a full bottle of mead (honey wine), barleywine or even a crisp  chardonnay to the mix, or a shot of Applejack to each mug.

To two gallons apple cider add:

15 dried dates
20 dried apple rings
1 orange cut into thin slices w/peel left on
1 lemon cut into thin slices w/peel left on
3 cinnamon sticks, whole
1tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
1″ fresh ginger, sliced thin

Handful each:
Mixed dried fruit bits
Dried Cranberries
Dried Cherries

Large pinch each:
Whole coriander seed
Whole cardmom pod, well crushed
Whole cloves
Cinnamon chips or small pieces

Small pinch each:
Allspice berries
Damascena rose petals or 1tbsp rose water
Dried barberries (can substitute 1tsp lemon juice + tbsp raisins)
Graines of paradise (or pink or green peppercorns)

Add:
1/4 – 1/2 cup brown sugar or blue agave or maple syrup, to taste

Crush all the spices and add to the cider and fruits in a large stainless steel or enameled pan. Simmer until volume is reduced by a third. When cooked down to your taste, strain through coffee filter or paper towel to remove pulp and spices. Replace a few fresh lemon, orange and apple rings and add 2 new cinnamon sticks to serve. Serve piping hot.

How DOES it get any better…?

I’ll be back to you just before New Year’s with some more juice for your joyous life and ways for you to live in ease, grace and joy.

For now, just keep asking: “How does it get any better than this?” Don’t wait for an answer, just let it be out there, so it can return to you in wondrous ways!

All my Love & Warmest Holiday Blessings,
Maryam

This stop-motion video, made by 300 French students for the ESCP Business School is nothing short of amazing. Think of the hours of work, the coordination, rehearsal and good will that must have had to prevail to get this project to come together. Vive la cooperation! New Bliss Key: Cheerful Cooperation. Will save you spending money on antacid. How can you leverage Cheerful Cooperation at Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa with those which you may in years past have spent time with playing unhappy tug-of-war games?

You may practice ETHOS, EFT, ZPoint, BSFF, EMDR, HeartMath or a variety of other energy therapies. You may practice as a psychotherapist, health educator or as a coach. But did you know that the energy psychology all these methods are based on has been researched and accepted by a number of professional organizations already?

(As a shoutout to my own Certified Energy Coaches – you need to know this, please read)

According to the author’s online course the tenets of his paper Energy Psychology: Review of the Preliminary Evidence, have been accepted by the National Board for Certified Counselors, Association of Social Work Boards, and the National Association for Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors. Great news!  Now if the APA (which is taken to task in the paper) would listen, we’d all be one big happy family.

What generative energy, space and consciousness would it take to have the techniques we all know work, accepted world-wide by the “powers that be”? What would it take to shift the axis away from those ultra-conservative organizations and individuals who would stifle, hold down and repress information that could, if they would only open to it, accelerate and advance not only their careers, but the results of every client they help?

Hmm…interesting thought… 

Here’s an abstract, with a follow link at the bottom. Read the whole paper. It really is most illuminating. And deep thanks to energy psychology pioneer Dr. David Feinstein for his wonderful work

Paper Abstract

Energy psychology utilizes imaginal and narrative-generated exposure, paired with interventions that reduce hyperarousal through acupressure and related techniques. According to practitioners, this leads to treatment outcomes that are more rapid, powerful, and precise than the strategies used in other exposure-based treatments such as relaxation or diaphragmatic breathing. The method has been exceedingly controversial. It relies on unfamiliar procedures adapted from non-Western cultures, posits unverified mechanisms of action, and early claims of unusual speed and therapeutic power ran far ahead of initial empirical support. This paper reviews a hierarchy of evidence regarding the efficacy of energy psychology, from anecdotal reports to randomized clinical trials. Although the evidence is still preliminary, energy psychology has reached the minimum threshold for being designated as an evidence-based treatment, with one form having met the APA Division 12 criteria as a “probably efficacious treatment” for specific phobias; another for maintaining weight loss. The limited scientific evidence, combined with extensive clinical reports, suggests that energy psychology holds promise as a rapid and potent treatment for a range of psychological conditions.

Read this paper here

About the Author:

Dr. Feinstein is a clinical psychologist who has done pioneering work in the areas of personal mythology and energy psychology. Author of 7 books and over 50 professional papers, he has taught at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and Antioch College. His multi-media Energy Psychology Interactive self-study training program was a recipient of the Outstanding Contribution Award from the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, and the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. Connect to Dr. Feinstein at his website, here.

I’m on a mission to make your life as happy as possible

Some Bliss Coaching Questions to get you to “Woo!” if you’re “Bleah.”

1)  Is your hair on fire/is the world ending/is my life in danger this very second? If no, and you have food in your belly, a roof over your head and clothes on your back, you do not have a problem. Use your choice of calming methods from awareness meditation to yoga to bring yourself back to center, and out of stress response.

2) How would you rather feel? Once you’ve breathed yourself back down to okay again, no matter what else might be going on, you have a choice as to how you wish to feel about it. Choose that feeling now. Write it down. Some folks like to write a cue word to this much-more-resourceful state on their hand or a post-it attached to their purse or backpack. Put it in someplace accessible that you’ll see many times as you go through your day.

Try for one word as your “rather feel this way” reminder, instead of a phrase.One of the things I’ve found in my work with clients and large groups is that the simpler you make something, the more deeply it goes and the greater the possibility for communities and whole geographical regions that can come to be able to feel this way, simply because you are putting your intentions out there.

A great tip to make it all easier and more joyful:

Condensing to the essence adds greatly to your personal power.

Look at this word throughout the day to remind yourself of how you’d rather feel. Remember the last time you felt this way and fully flesh out that memory. Say “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!” to confirm to yourself you Really. Wanna. Feel that way.

Now step into that feeling. Mmm…

3) Now make another choice: What generative energy, space and consciousness do you want to be and manifest today? Choose that, write it down in the air in letters of flame or whatever color and shape please you. See the letters fade out. Breathe in and out. Remember what you wrote. Go, and remember it throughout the day.

How do you feel now? Remember that, the next time upset and “things appearing like danger but really, when you think about it… aren’t.” threatens.

Keep breathing in your reminder word – how you’d rather feel. And remembering what you choose to generate, how you wish to be and what you will manifest today.

I look forward to hearing what you are choosing for today.

If you’d like to commit to waking up and co-supporting others who are doing the same,

Share your thoughts below by commenting to continue this discussion…

What do YOU Choose?

Sacramento announced that it is closing 80% of California’s State Parks by Labor Day to save the 1/10th of 1% of state General Fund money the parks, already cut back to the bone, are allotted yearly.

Factor in the estimated 230% of both lost revenue as well as the millions of dollars that would be needed to rehab the parks when (if) they do re-open, the devastating consequences to public mental and physical health that park closure would mean, and this maneuver is simply sheer idiocy.

Rather than belabor the point, I’m simply pasting below the letter I sent my state representatives. All the facts are in it, as well as the link to the State Park campaign online where you can send your own letters. It’s crazy, it’s insane, and it makes no sense. I offer a more wideranging view of what’s going on, plus one workable solution below:

Take Action Here: http://www.calparks.org/takeaction/

Join the Facebook Campaign: http://www.facebook.com/pages/California-State-Parks-Foundation/51483280208

Here’s my letter, please feel free to use it in its entirety if you like, to send to your California State Representatives:

Dear …,

As a strong supporter of our state park system, I am writing to express outrage to the Governor’s proposal to eliminate core funding for our state park system that will close virtually all parks.

I am a psychologist and have made a lifetime study of the behavior of people when removed from the resources of nature. The results of those deprived of greenspace is devastating, not only on personal mental health but on societal behavior patterns.

Persons deprived of their connection with nature withdraw, become less concerned about their fellow human beings, more callous in their behaviors and more predisposed towards violence. It is no coincidence that some of the worst riots and gang violence occur in paved cities with little access to green space. If parks are closed, a mental health disaster would result, to say nothing of the financial disaster this “cost saving” move would engender.

Additionally, the following facts need to be taken into consideration:

(Source: http://www.calparks.org. Observations & additional facts, mine)

1. The General Fund budget that state parks receive account for less than 1/10 of one percent of the entire state budget.

————–
OBSERVATION & SOLUTION: Stripping the state parks will not solve the budget problem, nor be in any way a significant contributor to defraying state costs. Indeed, it will end up costing us far, far more.

The citizens were never asked if they would consider raising park fees. I for one, would be happy to pay higher fees to be allowed to access my state’s park system. Raise the rate four to six times current rates. Such a move would more than make the park system pay for itself. It might prevent some from attending, but still beats the cost of a traditional family vacation for cash-strapped Californians.
————–

2. Last year alone, there were over 80 million visitors to state parks – and all indications are that this year was going to be even higher.

—————
IMPORTANT OBSERVATION: California is KNOWN for our state park system. Thousands of out of state vacationers come to California specifically to visit our park systems. Count on a drastic reduction in tourism revenue with our state parks closed.
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3. For every dollar that funds the parks, $2.35 is returned to the state’s General Fund through economic activities in the communities surrounding the parks.

That means eliminating all funding for state parks could actually result in the state losing over $350 million dollars in revenue.

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VERY IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS: Sacramento needs to take into account the funds needed to put parks on standby maintenance mode, as well as the millions of dollars that will be needed for cleanup and restoration when parks are reopened. In absence of adequate park staff, our now pristine parks will turn into homeless camps and rubbish drops. Parks will also be subject to multiple forms of abuse, such as illegal drug manufacture and all-terrain vehicle traffic, by those for whom a locked gate – and care for the environment – is no barrier.

In addition, locked bathrooms will force such persons to use the local environs for toileting purposes, thus creating a potentially devastating sanitation nightmare. Epidemics start when human waste comes into contact with running water and ground water. Factor in the nightmare this public health issue will create and for the sake of public safety, keep our parks open.
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Our state parks exist to provide educational and recreational opportunities, preserve important cultural and historic resources, and aid the state in protecting key natural resources.  They also serve a critical function in providing respite for the state’s residents in times like these – when economic circumstances keep Californians closer to home, looking for low-cost ways to vacation and spend time with family.

As I have said, the need of human beings to interact with the natural world is paramount in preservation of the public’s mental health. If our children grow up without access to nature, what kind of human beings will they turn out to be? Will they even care about preserving the environment for the future as their parents have? What one is not exposed to, one cares little for. Such persons lack the finer feelings that can only be evoked in nature. And in truth, we are lesser beings for such disconnection. That is why this potential closure of California parks is so deeply frightening.

This is exactly the wrong time to be proposing to eliminate the state’s core commitment to this world-class resource.  Not only would removing the state’s General Fund support for state parks likely close the park system, it would cause an additional economic ripple effect to the state’s budget and to local economies.  The state would lose the ability to generate revenue from popular parks, which drives local economies.  As you learned during last year’s proposal to close state parks, every $1 that funds the state park system returns $2.35 to the state’s General Fund, largely through economic activities in communities surrounding state parks.

I urge you in the STRONGEST POSSIBLE TERMS to seek creative solutions that provide adequate revenue to keep our state parks open and accessible to all Californians.

Sincerely,
Your Name
Your street address

One of the things that I’ve truly “gotten” on my hiatus is that I have not allowed myself enough down-time and really need some quality unplugging. No computer, no tv, getting back to a spare, but rich, non-tech lifestyle. Accordingly, for the entire month of April, but for the master class in ETHOS I’m doing for Adela Rubio:

http://selfcaremastery.com/maryam

and a radio interview I’m doing for Connecting Women, I will be completely offline AND off email – our offices, help desk and all connection outlets will be closed.

I’d like to share a lesson from this that I have learned as it will be beneficial for anyone to think about. That is, we have many yardsticks in our lives – many ways of measuring the shoulds and musts. And though we may have come to the point of removing the words “should” and “must” from our vocabulary, those very ideas exist in our molecular structure as strong encodings.

In my case, the coding was around “I *should* be able to rest from a week of work in the two days of the weekend and be okay” and “I *should* be able to  work during the day from 9-5 as others do”.

But my system is not set up that way – it never has  been. I’m an owl, not a lark. A small percentage of the extremely creative (some call them “renaissance people”) have biorhythms that predispose them to work at their best, and to high proficiency on a variety of topics, later in the day. Voltaire, DaVinci, Michelangelo, Tesla and Bill Clinton are among those whose bodies also favored a night-owl lifestyle. I work best in the late afternoon and evening, sleep around 6 – 7 hours at most (7 is almost too much and 8 is definitely oversleeping) and usually work on several projects at once by preference. And I need more than two days to be “off” on the weekend.

My long-suffering workhorse parents despaired of me ever being respectable in the sleep department. I happily created in the wee hours, even as a child. Well-meaning though it was, they used every moral imperative to suggest that I was not a righteous person for being a night-owl and if I kept up “these shenanigans” I would not mature into a good upstanding citizen. Mother consulted Reverend Pegues when I was seven over this perceived fault, with the result that I was awakened every morning at 6am without fail to pray and read the Bible before school in the hopes of rehabilitating my wayward biorhythms.

It didn’t work. I slept through third period in school, refusing to be rousted, and stayed up at night until my body told me it was time to sleep. It exasperated Mother no end, but she finally gave up and when she saw that I was doing cool things – nature photography and essays in philosophy at that point.  She even briefly catered to my 10pm dinner habit  and harbored hopes that I might turn into Imogen Cunningham. No such luck though.

In the intervening years, I’ve found it’s always best to do what my body tells me it needs. When I do that, I am never sick or tired, and am always at my best and sharpest.

Late last year however,  though it was a relatively minor thing, I fell prey again to the moralizing of others around my natural biorhythms and tried to be early-to-bed-early-to-rise to join with a group of yoga friends who were all early risers and determined to make me one as well. And I mean, sunrise type early, greeting the day with Surya Namaskar as the sun crested the local Diablo hills.

The result was that I became out of sorts and was tired quite a lot which is very unusual for me. And even though I love writing more than life itself sometimes, computers, Twitter and email began to irritate me severely. These were cardinal signs to me that I was not honoring my body’s needs and was one of the ingredients in my decision to take a hiatus from business in January.

I naievely thought that my break would begin in January, but no, tying up ends so I actually could take a break took well into February. Then a conference came in March with heavy email, Twitter involvement and text messaging before and after, pushing things even further out.

So drop-dead earnest here, April is my month off. Completely away from the computer. Even cellphone. Don’t send me an EM, IM, DM, TxT or Skypee because I’m nailing the keyboard to the desk upside down and locking the mouse in a drawer. Not kidding.

I’m taking this unplugged break both for my own self-care and health, as well as research for an interesting article, or it might even be a book that I am writing. It keeps extending itself so it could well be the next book. <grin> More much later about that though.

The Moral of the Story Is… that there is no moral imperative around what the body needs. Each of us is wonderfully diverse in our unique makeup.  We all have slightly to profoundly different needs for food, water, sunshine or darkness, sleep or waking, downtime,  romance-time, exercise and alone-time.

That old biblical verse about the plank in your own eye comes to bear here. If someone in your life isn’t configured the same way you are don’t bring your judgements against them. Take care of your own needs and support each other to extreme and joyous acts of self-care, no matter what the hands on the clock say, no matter how different you might be to each others.

Diversity is what makes the world go ’round, be interesting and create genius.

Meanwhile, have a *beautiful* and *joyous* spring!

With Love,
Maryam