Everyday Bliss

Though I will be revealing the awesome, amazing, Tour-Of-Paris-Included LYLA (Love Your Life Again) DVD set soon, that’s not what we’re talking about today. Finally, something good to write about my geolocation. Though there is much good in the Golden State of California, the press usually has a heyday with our out of control actors (those in Hollywood and in government), budget shortfalls and commercial cannabis growing in Oaksterdam. But a social media based study just out today indicates that by and large, we’re happy with our lot. Chris Matyszczyk of “Technically Incorrect” explains, after which I have something to add:

Twitter finds West Coast is happier than East

(original article)

People on the East Coast whine and socially climb until their entrails are mazes of envy, sleeplessness, and dubious mind-fooling substances. They look over their shoulders so much that their necks and minds are permanently twisted. And then there’s the weather.

Well, at least that was my personal experience when I lived in New York. And now it is largely supported by research performed by some very possibly whining and social-climbing researchers from Harvard and Northeastern universities.

These fine and troubled minds were determined to ascertain just how happy Americans are. And, because they needed to place their fingers upon every wrist of American humanity in order to be sure of its pulse, they turned to Twitter.

The New Scientist tells me that the hard-working researchers analyzed 300 million tweets to determine just when and where people are happiest and saddest in the United States.

What they found was, very unsurprisingly, that the the highly civilized, caring, relaxed, open-minded, very relaxed after lunch, prettier, and more delectable West Coast is “significantly happier” than the miserable gulag of greed that is the East.

Click to read original article here)

I was just munching on this and thinking. The East Coast was set up to be a port of commerce to the then-known world. Its focus has always been on moving goods and people, the faster the better. The West Coast was the place where we looked for an alternative view, where we kept our forbidden dreams and secret desires. I’m not speaking in sexual terms, but in terms of what it would be like if we had a perfect life. “What if I just picked up and went west?” our ancestors used to think. “I’ve heard the good life is just out there for the taking!”

Similarly, the “Left Coast” has become known as a place to get your internal groove back, to quash your emotional hangups and live the good life in peace and plenty. Many who came crapped out quite literally, lost their homes, money, health. Many have returned in the last few years where they came from. But…that peace and plenty is still here. The study above may or may not prove it, but if you’re here and you don’t have your bliss on yet, then keep seeking. The thing you give AIR – Attention, Intention and Repetition – will come to you. Works every time. The key is persistence.

* Hint: You can also get the good life in the Heartland, the far North, the South and Southwest and yes, even on the East Coast. It’s all a matter of perspective.

Did you know about Earth Hour? A group of us were lounging on Navajo rug patterned chairs in a coffeehouse the other day, chatting about books, cats, kids & corn-based plastics. It was that languid, full-bodied chat that women have when comfortable with each other, the ambient temperature, satiety of their bellies and certain knowledge that a significant other is looking after the children, cooking or reservations.

Alois mentioned Earth Hour and the room started buzzing. Do you know about this? At 8:30pm on March 27th,

(that’s this Saturday, folks)

everyone who cares about the environment is switching their lights off for one hour to register mass concern and protest environmental policy changes not happening fast enough. I spoke of our pre-cycling/recycling efforts and of JBear’s biking to work. From bed I tread naked feet and comfy home-clothes to my office across the hall, so technically, I’m carbon friendly too.  Others put in compost heaps, biodiesel, community farming and child minding. We all sighed over reminiscences of the cute long haired hippie boys in the various communes of our youth.

My local co-op housing project in Columbia, Missouri put out the international Anarchy magazine. No, I’m not kidding.  And the oddity was, that I found it in Cambridge, England while living there, at an alternative bookstore called The Grapevine. I recognized the editor, typesetter, copy boy (this was the 80’s, mind) and had gone through crisis intervention training with the magazine’s accountant. They all recycled like crazed weasels, and even had an illegal still in the basement of one of the houses that brewed up some rather fine paint thinner they used to power a car they’d rigged up, decades before the real gasohol engines. I had a memorable date in that car…about which the least said the better.

My girlfriend J- was here today, visiting the Bay Area and taking a training. J. is an amazing lady I feel privileged to know. We  had a fine handful of hours together, chatting comfortably and reminiscing. As I get older, I so deeply value the tone and texture of these mature women relationships. It is so choice, and so eclipses what I had thought deep relationships to be in my youth.  Huzzah for us middlin’-aged broads. It’s a cool place to be.    J- passed me this video which is related to the observations above. Thanks for the pointers sweetie – your tribe is up to wonderful things…

There’s more at: http://www.fouryearsgo.org/

I’ve been a psychologist, shamanic practitioner and trainer for 30 years. My longevity as both a student and teacher of mental and spiritual processes is what prompts my comment on good buddy Andy Wibbels’ recent post on the James Arthur Ray Sweatlodge Deaths which I reproduce most of below.

What gets me is on page 12 of the James Arthur Ray International Co’s Search Warrrant (http://bit.ly/4zDRlm) that Ray played “God” and if anyone did anything he didn’t like would point to them and say “You’re dead”. The person then had to play dead until Ray told them they could “live” again.

Ye gods. What an egotistical sham.

How could otherwise rational people be taken in like this?

I’ve been pondering this question several decades and wrote a scholarly paper on it back in the 90’s. This seems to be the question most people are asking. From a therapeutic perspective, these people were so very desperate for approval that they abdicated their good sense in favor of Ray’s good graces.

But even so…there were way too many early pointers to disaster that the average person should have been able to sense. IF – and this is pivotal – their better judgment had not been intentionally crippled prior to the incident.

I was blessed to be trained in shamanic practice by a real elder whose kindness, deep wisdom and grace inoculated me against ever getting involved with scams like this, no matter how glowingly packaged or how much I wanted the transformation promised. More on that, and this whole mess here: http://bit.ly/OnSpiritualAbuse

One of the first things ego-identified cult leaders do is to wean people from their support networks, their internal sense of right and wrong and teach them their natural bodily reactions are not to be trusted.

Ray did all three. The affidavits list numerous times Ray’s seminarians came to harm – breaking bones, death, suicide, subsequent mental illness…a shameful laundry list that incredibly, has been growing since at least 2003 by current eyewitness reports.

I still do not understand why this man is not behind bars right now.

When I was a therapist, I had a history in dealing with spiritual abuse survivors and developed a certain amout of expertise in being able to spot the fakes and engage proactive protection. As a community gift for 2010, I’m rewriting my early-90’s paper on surviving and avoiding such situations, to more broadly address a wide range of spiritual abusers. Even in well-meaning communities, inexpert group therapy perpetrated by leaders often results in harm to the participants. Most of this is inadvertent, but sometimes it is not. Here are some excerpts that I hope might be helpful:

When human ego is stoked by the drugs of greed, money, ambition and adulation, there is always danger and high potential for abuse.

Some tips for folks in any potential spiritual or mental abuse situation:

Always trust your gut. ALWAYS. No matter what anyone tells you, no matter how initially comfortable you feel with a leader or group. Do you feel queasy or like you’ve been slimed around a leader or teacher you once trusted? Your gut-wisdom is your final defense against harm to the organism. Trust it.

A measure of discomfort is sometimes necessary to grow and change. BUT -

* If you feel Ill either emotionally or physically during a lecture, process, workshop, etc. and it gets WORSE or doesn’t go away – LEAVE.

* If a teacher’s words or behavior make you feel BAD about yourself or ridicule others – LEAVE.

* If a teacher encourages you to drop associations outside of their group, particularly with old friends or family – LEAVE.

* Just as a rule of thumb: ONLY do intense mental/spiritual processes (and definitely those of native origin) with someone who is HIGHLY trained to offer them.

* Do a thorough background check on anyone offering a sweatlodge. Who trained them? Who trained that person’s trainer? What is their track record? Do they have people who have been through the entire process that you can speak with about their experience? Do they have medical staff or medically trained assistants on standby?

* Check the teacher’s exterior relations: What is their relationship with their local Better Business Bureau or Chamber of Commerce if they are a commercial concern? How do other teachers/leaders regard them? Do they have testimonials from anyone OUTSIDE their own organization familiar with their work – in other words, not only testimonials from adoring acolytes or outside parties who haven’t really experienced the work.

These are reasonable questions to ask ANY leader of ANY training like Ray was offering. Most teachers are scrupulous and will have no problem giving you cogent answers. Most are proud of their lineages and will readily cite them, on their websites, in other documentation or to your face if you ask.

* If the teacher you’re investigating refuses to answer, ridicules you for asking or becomes upset – LEAVE. Behavior like this is indicative of ego-strength too low to be teaching or advising anyone.

STAY CENTERED.

DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO….

ESPECIALLY IF YOUR GUT SAYS DIFFERENT.

If in doubt, check your participation in such ventures with friends, family members or professionals you know to be rational and un-invested in your decision.

Thanks for reading and please pass these tips on – they could save a life.

This stop-motion video, made by 300 French students for the ESCP Business School is nothing short of amazing. Think of the hours of work, the coordination, rehearsal and good will that must have had to prevail to get this project to come together. Vive la cooperation! New Bliss Key: Cheerful Cooperation. Will save you spending money on antacid. How can you leverage Cheerful Cooperation at Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa with those which you may in years past have spent time with playing unhappy tug-of-war games?

As you know, I’m always looking for ways to make things simpler, easier and less expensive while being sustainably good for the planet and all of us living on it. I angsted for ages over the gargantuan costs of organic laundry soap but finally caved when in good conscience, I couldn’t put waste products into our precious water supply. I bought all the brands you’ve seen in healthfood stores and didn’t find one worked better than any other. They cost more than the common grocery store brands, and I knew that the key ingredients could really be had for pennies.

What a racket!

Make Your Own Laundry Soap for Pennies

In just as much angst over the plastic bottle recycling issue, I started making a simple laundry powder out of old homemade soap that had gone a bit hard. Grating it on a cheese grater proved knuckle-busting so figuring it was a clean job anyway, I busted out the Cuisinart and processed large chunks of cut up soap until fine meal resulted.

Caveat: WAIT UNTIL THE DUST CLEARS before you open the food processor’s container!  You can easily inhale soap dust and trust me, you don’t wanna. I say this from experience.

I mixed the resulting two cups of soap powder with equal parts washing soda and borax which you can find cheap as chips in any grocery store. This will give you 24 ounces of product, enough for 12 loads. I store this in a large plastic dry goods storage jar. Be sure to add BEFORE clothes and turn water on so any dust is damped down before you lean over the washing machine to put the clothes in.

Cost Analysis

Given I’d made the soap myself from micro-amounts of essential oils, inexpensive lye and fats (olive oil, coconut oil & solid shortening) that were lying around in the cabinet, this mix cost me pennies a load to make. I estimate less than ten cents per quarter-cup scoop and it cleans the laundry like nobody’s business.

Since the essential oils used to scent the soap had seen better days, I added a few drops of lavender and a few of tea tree – both of these are antiseptic and tea tree is known to kill germs on contact. Grand total, maybe 12 cents a load. Any kind of old soap (exceptions: soaps with cold cream, herb or grit particles added) will work great.

Slightly Rancid Is Still Peachy-Keen…

If the soap is a bit rancid, that’s okay, you can still use it to great effect to clean your clothes and can add a drop or two of essential oil (see “Dryer Sheet” below) to eliminate any rough scent, though scent doesn’t tend to transfer in the washer, even using cold water.  Also, you need hard soap for this, not the soft creamy type of bar. If I had to purchase a soap to use for this purpose, I’d get either Kirk’s Castile, Ivory (or just use Ivory Snow) or Dr. Bronner’s Lavender bar.

Dryer Sheet Of Forever

When I started eliminating allergic substances years ago, I came to realize dryer sheets were one of the worst irritants. We had also just gotten a pile of white cotton shop towels to use for cleaning instead of paper towels. I annointed one of these with a few drops of lavender oil, and threw that into the dryer with a wet load.

Also into the dryer went two clean tennis balls which have the same effect as the village washerwoman beating the clothes with a rock to soften the fibers.  They also reduce static, lint and wrinkle reduction. There are also plastic balls with spikes that you can buy. We have both and I don’t notice a difference in the way they work – tennis balls are less expensive. So both white cloth and tennis balls – with or without your choice of essential oils does the trick so fine you won’t miss those artificially smelly and immune system-compromising dryer sheets. I still use the same cloth I started with six years ago. Wash it every ten loads or so, then when it comes out just add a few drops of oil and toss it in wet and oiled with that load’s drying. Gotta love it!

Caveat: The slight fuzz on tennis balls may come off on your dark and nubby-textured clothing.  Leave out of the dark load if this is an issue, or hang dry fuzzy/nubby textured dark clothes.

Also, make sure dryer cloth is white as oils may cause dyes in colored cloths to come off on your load of laundry. Other essential oils that make your laundry smell fantastic:  ylang-ylang, orange, neroli, eucalyptus or lemon. Try sandalwood when you have a date lined up – the scent is faint but will deepen subtly when your body warms the clothing!

Fancy a “hair gel” textured liquid-y soap? The Comfortable Hippies have one recipe here.

Kellie from “Make it From Scratch” (wonderful place!) offers her recipe, similar to mine here.

While you’re at it, check out their great Make It From Scratch Thanksgiving. Your game plan & recipes = done!

You may practice ETHOS, EFT, ZPoint, BSFF, EMDR, HeartMath or a variety of other energy therapies. You may practice as a psychotherapist, health educator or as a coach. But did you know that the energy psychology all these methods are based on has been researched and accepted by a number of professional organizations already?

(As a shoutout to my own Certified Energy Coaches – you need to know this, please read)

According to the author’s online course the tenets of his paper Energy Psychology: Review of the Preliminary Evidence, have been accepted by the National Board for Certified Counselors, Association of Social Work Boards, and the National Association for Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors. Great news!  Now if the APA (which is taken to task in the paper) would listen, we’d all be one big happy family.

What generative energy, space and consciousness would it take to have the techniques we all know work, accepted world-wide by the “powers that be”? What would it take to shift the axis away from those ultra-conservative organizations and individuals who would stifle, hold down and repress information that could, if they would only open to it, accelerate and advance not only their careers, but the results of every client they help?

Hmm…interesting thought… 

Here’s an abstract, with a follow link at the bottom. Read the whole paper. It really is most illuminating. And deep thanks to energy psychology pioneer Dr. David Feinstein for his wonderful work

Paper Abstract

Energy psychology utilizes imaginal and narrative-generated exposure, paired with interventions that reduce hyperarousal through acupressure and related techniques. According to practitioners, this leads to treatment outcomes that are more rapid, powerful, and precise than the strategies used in other exposure-based treatments such as relaxation or diaphragmatic breathing. The method has been exceedingly controversial. It relies on unfamiliar procedures adapted from non-Western cultures, posits unverified mechanisms of action, and early claims of unusual speed and therapeutic power ran far ahead of initial empirical support. This paper reviews a hierarchy of evidence regarding the efficacy of energy psychology, from anecdotal reports to randomized clinical trials. Although the evidence is still preliminary, energy psychology has reached the minimum threshold for being designated as an evidence-based treatment, with one form having met the APA Division 12 criteria as a “probably efficacious treatment” for specific phobias; another for maintaining weight loss. The limited scientific evidence, combined with extensive clinical reports, suggests that energy psychology holds promise as a rapid and potent treatment for a range of psychological conditions.

Read this paper here

About the Author:

Dr. Feinstein is a clinical psychologist who has done pioneering work in the areas of personal mythology and energy psychology. Author of 7 books and over 50 professional papers, he has taught at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and Antioch College. His multi-media Energy Psychology Interactive self-study training program was a recipient of the Outstanding Contribution Award from the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, and the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. Connect to Dr. Feinstein at his website, here.

I’m on a mission to make your life as happy as possible

Some Bliss Coaching Questions to get you to “Woo!” if you’re “Bleah.”

1)  Is your hair on fire/is the world ending/is my life in danger this very second? If no, and you have food in your belly, a roof over your head and clothes on your back, you do not have a problem. Use your choice of calming methods from awareness meditation to yoga to bring yourself back to center, and out of stress response.

2) How would you rather feel? Once you’ve breathed yourself back down to okay again, no matter what else might be going on, you have a choice as to how you wish to feel about it. Choose that feeling now. Write it down. Some folks like to write a cue word to this much-more-resourceful state on their hand or a post-it attached to their purse or backpack. Put it in someplace accessible that you’ll see many times as you go through your day.

Try for one word as your “rather feel this way” reminder, instead of a phrase.One of the things I’ve found in my work with clients and large groups is that the simpler you make something, the more deeply it goes and the greater the possibility for communities and whole geographical regions that can come to be able to feel this way, simply because you are putting your intentions out there.

A great tip to make it all easier and more joyful:

Condensing to the essence adds greatly to your personal power.

Look at this word throughout the day to remind yourself of how you’d rather feel. Remember the last time you felt this way and fully flesh out that memory. Say “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!” to confirm to yourself you Really. Wanna. Feel that way.

Now step into that feeling. Mmm…

3) Now make another choice: What generative energy, space and consciousness do you want to be and manifest today? Choose that, write it down in the air in letters of flame or whatever color and shape please you. See the letters fade out. Breathe in and out. Remember what you wrote. Go, and remember it throughout the day.

How do you feel now? Remember that, the next time upset and “things appearing like danger but really, when you think about it… aren’t.” threatens.

Keep breathing in your reminder word – how you’d rather feel. And remembering what you choose to generate, how you wish to be and what you will manifest today.

I look forward to hearing what you are choosing for today.

If you’d like to commit to waking up and co-supporting others who are doing the same,

Share your thoughts below by commenting to continue this discussion…

What do YOU Choose?

What is that furrow
on your brow,
a sigh of sorrow
imprinted on the skin?
What clings sullen
to the bone,
contracting your heart?

What do you fear,
have horror of,
long to forget,
despise and loathe
so much

that it leaves its
convoluted intent
on the roadmap
of your face?

And more importantly,
what do you REALLY desire?

Think on that and know:

That nothing is truly wrong.

Nothing is truly required of you,

but to live and be happy.

What is meant for you can never truly be lost,
because nothing can actually be lost.

Lost is a point of view,
a Limiting Belief.

Though forms may change,
everything always exists
for energy cannot be destroyed.

What is meant for you is still right in front of you.

Have you the eyes to see it?

Have you the ears to hear its message?

Have you the heart to feel its

fresh,

pure,

delicious energy…

pulling you forward?

If not…

Step aside,

into the Real You…

and continue the journey.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* Travelogue: Been fueled on inspiration from the stunning Oregonian waterfalls this week on our tour of the Pacific Northwest. I snapped the above picture at Multnomah Falls prior to a hike where we got ecstatically drenched. The words rolled out during an intro on ETHOS that I taught in a community center shortly after that.  “Stepping aside” is ETHOS speak for stepping back inside our Unlimited Self – that energetic template of the ‘perfect you’ that we all started out in life, and that is still available to us. The ETHOS Method is a free, worldwide healing and consciousness tool that I created, and you can learn more about here.

And I found this really great resource for acupressure to deal with it. It’s easy to do and you can get a full tutorial at mind-energy.net by clicking the title:
Get rid of stuffed or running nose without drugs

Nasal congestion, stuffy nose, runny nose – these are common problems experienced by everyone, usually many times a year. We generally disregard it, if it’s on moderate levels but can get very annoyed when they are strong and require our attentions.

Yes, you could use a nasal spray to depress it for a while. But there are some problems with the sprays:

• First, they are drugs (chemicals), might have side effects and are somewhat addictive.
• Second, they cost money.
• Third, you should have it with you whenever your nose drives you mad. This might not be the case every time, since you have to buy it first, and then carry it with you whenever you go (work, for example).

When I was little, one of my grandmothers has taught my father and me a very simple point massage technique that relieves nasal congestion fast and effectively, without leaving the bitter taste in your mouth. I wanted to share it with you….

Click here to go to the rest of the article with pictures & tutorial

Hey there! What’s up?

How have you been?

Has life been blissful for you?

I sure  hope so. But, if things aren’t going so well and you’re having challenges, you’re going to like the freebies &  treats I have for you throughout October.

October is going to be a busy month. I love the autumn, and this month, will return to  public speaking. Coming up will be several really cool no-fee teleseminar series aimed at getting you Conscious, out of fear and helping you stay there, plus tutorials on Vibrational Healing, Spirituality and Outrageous Wellbeing.

October is also Breast Health Awareness Month, so you can count on a good primer (a video, if I can muster the intestinal fortitude to do it “al fresco”…) on ways to keep breasts healthy, for guys and gals both.

Trick or treat? As the month progresses, you’re in for an  amazing grab  bag of goodies -  all treats, I promise. 

You’ll want to mark your calendars for the first of these learning opportunities on Tuesday, October 13th at 6pm Pacific / 9pm Eastern. I’ll lead off the month keynoting the Soulfelt teleseminar series with Michelle Skaletski-Boyd and a host of wonderful presenters you’ll love learning from. If you get my newslettter, you’ll receive your invitation to this no-cost teaching series this Thursday. If you’re not subscribed, you can do that by requesting your free Bliss Kit in the form to the left of this page.

Then wait for Thursday (it’s gonna be so much FUN!) and watch your mail…

AND YET MORE TREATS

Before all that gets underway, I wanted to share some resources I’ve sourced out for the Love Your Life Again class. These are things we all need and are no-cost ways to improve the amount of happiness you have. And who doesn’t need more happiness? Please share these with everyone!

Your Body Holds The Key To Your Happiness

If you’ve ever taken class with me, you’ll know that I love checking in with the body, and always direct you back to your body for answers you need (they’re there, really). The body is a fantastic resource most people partially or
completely ignore, thinking: it’s just a vehicle to schlep your mind around in, why pay attention to it unless it hurts? But the body is also a source of great joy, and the repository of every single memory and emotion you have. One of my favorite quotes about why the world is so screwy relates to this:

“Unresolved emotional pain is the great contagion of our time — of all
time.”

~ Marc Ian Barasch

And guess where that emotional pain is stored? Yep, it’s in our bodies. Marc Ian Barasch, spokesperson for “cultural creatives” (like me, and you if you’re reading this) former editor of New Age Journal wrote about the mind-body
connection in a great early-90’s Psychology Today article that’s worth a re-read, especially if you’re new to this idea: “welcome To The Mind-Body Revolution” here:

http://bit.ly/mind-body-revolution

There’s lots here. Candace Pert and the neurochemistry of emotions, breast cancer survival (plus how to make a tumor disappear), the Dalai Lama and wired monks, Larry Dossey & the Boggle Factor and finally the sage advice of Buckminster Fuller. This article is sixteen years old and still relevant as tomorrow.

What did you think of the ideas in this article? Agree? Disagree? Do you even think some of these things are possible?  I’d love to enter conversation with you on your mind-body connection thoughts. Just scroll down this pageand share your observations in the comment section.

And…after you’ve absorbed this great info, why not clear the feelings of emotional pain your body may generate, with the ETHOS Method or your favorite clearing technique? The more we clear, the less screwy our world. And by extension, everyone else’s world…

Union Valley Headache Remedy

Sounds like the name of a swanky PTA chapter, doesn’t it? Nope, Union Valley is an acupoint on your hand in the flesh web between the thumb and first finger. From the place where there is only skin, go back into the palm area until you feel the muscle between the thumb and index finger bones.

Use your index and first fingers of your other hand to press  firmly on either side of the Union Valley point for at least ten  seconds, then let up. This causes energy to drain out of the  head and is great not only for headaches, but for over-thinking, addictive behaviors and getting people back into their bodies when they become ungrounded.

So How Happy Are You…Really?

Here’s a great series of tests that I sourced out for the “Love Your Life Again” crowd that I thought I’d pass on. They’re from ground zero of the Positive Psychology movement at the University of Pennsylvania, under the guidance of well-known researcher and psychologist, Dr. Marty Seligman. You need to register (it’s f.r.e.e), but you can provide help to the research department plus find out a lot about your own “Authentic Happiness” here:

http://bit.ly/PosPsychTests

That’s all for today, and I wish you a very happy first week of October.

Hurray!

Autumn is here with black cats  (our charcoal-grey fluffer Anoushka, at least), pumpkins  and bobbing for apples plus bonfires, taffy pulls & spiced  cider. Hay rides too, and all manner of things that remind  me of home during this exciting season.

Did the air EVER smell so good? Drink down the invigorating energies of autumn with every breath and enjoy the results…

Until Thursday, have a great week!

Warmest…

Maryam