…Being a tutorial on How To Know You’re Being Scammed, How To Avoid Being Scammed & How To Make Lemonade In a Poor Learning Environment
PART I:
Amanda sounded-off on the previous post saying:
“I have heard several free teleseminars, and signed up for the $97 package….her offering was misrepresented (she apologized for that, but claimed no responsibility)…and essentially tells those of us who signed up that because we received such a large discount, we’re not getting the same benefits that her private clients get, AND if you really want the results that she promises, you need to sign up for the next level, at considerably higher cost.
I have learned many valuable tools but…I guess I’m feeling the “once bitten, twice shy” thing. I think the work is very valuable, …it just seems that some folks are working out of integrity, and then I’m left with the self-judgment of having made yet another “interesting” choice…”
First of all, THANK YOU Amanda for bringing up a number of issues here, that I think are worth a more extended response, some talk about what fair and unfair is, and some general education that coaches, speakers, teachers and others who conduct information-based businesses really wish the general public knew.
I hope the following is helpful not just to Amanda, but everyone who has ever felt gypped, cheated, taken advantage of or used by someone selling a service. And on our side of the fence, every coach, therapist or other kind of teacher who has put their heart and soul into a product only to be told they stink, their product or training stinks and it’s not worth either the buyer’s time or what was paid for it.
The below is meant with respect, to educate.
And sometimes that takes hard truths.
Plus, there’s a lot that goes into running a coaching,
therapy or speaking business that you don’t know about, that bears on the decisions and behavior you’re seeing.
Put your dander in park.
Enjoy the ride.
The Map Is Not The Territory…
This NLP presupposition is particularly apropos when talking about He Said/She Said and other Point Of View type of situations.
The consumer has their point of view “I’ve been screwed” but the vendor has their own point of view too, which ranges from “I truly care about my customers and clients, I’ve done my best to explain the product and will deal fairly with them in whatever they need. ” to the less prosiac: “Screw the customer.”
Crappy trainings, constant annoying/unskillful upsell and dismissive teachers infatuated with their own mystique and the observations Amanda made about her experience are the “elephant in the middle of the room” in the world of coaches and other service professionals. There are both unscrupulous people involved in selling their wares, as well as people who think they know what they’re talking about …. and simply don’t. And who just don’t get it. And who pass that not getting it on to an unsuspecting public.
Unfortunately, Amanda seems to have gotten one of these. I’m sorry Amanda, that you had that kind of experience. But having had that experience, you’ve actually come out more a winner than you know.
More about that below. But first to address everyone:
On the flip side of the disgruntled buyer situation, there’s the customer having unrealistic expectations of the class or product, or not knowing what they’re signing up for because they didn’t do the homework, or didn’t read the sales page entirely, check the guarantee or ask hard questions of the trainers before buying.
Each side of this equation has valid points, but there is a commonality: Education and communication. These are the key factors in why a training is perceived as “bad” after the fact or a customer feels scammed. This resolves into three categories:
1. Either the teacher didn’t tell the prospective students what to expect
2. The teacher is lying (call it “creative accounting” if you will – amounts to the same thing)
3. The student expected much more than was ever on the table, and didn’t check those expectations out before they bought-in.
Let’s examine all sides of this equation. I’ll also give you some real Coaching Tips and a Cure for this problem you can implement immediately…
I’ll come out front and say I’ve been in situations, trainers/coaches/healers/etc. like this before myself. Several times early in my coaching training I took marketing trainings that ranged from decent to sucky. The suckier ones of these were inevitably given by someone who barely knew what they were talking about themself, or a self-styled “guru” who was too full of themself to care about their students once the money was in the bank.
While I’ve for the most part stopped taking such trainings, I do like to have a refresher every now and then. So earlier this year I participated in a training that had me rolling my eyes at the lack of integrity.
Like the training Amanda referenced, (though costing in the several-thousands) this program was very content-light and aimed at beginners when advertised (and sold to me) as advanced, the “guru” was rarely there when advertised as the main teacher, and she left the teaching to incompetent subordinates who simply read from the pdfs. Ugh. The training was definitely set up to be a clearing house for the even-more-expensive program the person was offering and heavily promoted throughout. And…the guru and her teachers seemed surprised that more of us didn’t want to buy into the next training. That always has astounded me, that you would give a shitty training, not look at your feedback forms to KNOW that it was shitty, then be surprised people aren’t begging for more.
I asked the hard questions before buying as well, and can’t call it anything but what it was. Her organization blatantly lied to me and to others I spoke with about the nature and scope of the training. NOT Attractive!
Gurus, this is for you:
WHY on earth would you lie to a prospective customer who is clearly not in your demographic, or on the flip side, who doesn’t have the funds to pay your fees – even the least expensive ones?
Are you THAT BROKE with all your cars, expensive art, the house in the country and the other one in the City and your elite Diamond and Platinum clients (that you constantly tout) that you need to deceive people?
Because that’s how this kind of behavior comes off. And it ain’t cool. Not even close.
It’s downright chilly.
And as karma is a very real force, I’m issuing a challenge to you to STEP UP, tell the Truth, even if it means losing customers. You’ll make a good friend and earn good-karma points by sending them to the people you know who DO offer what they need.
…So sometimes Amanda, and others reading this - even if you do all your homework you can still get a sucky experience. It was up to me to turn my experience around, mine the few valuable resources it contained and go on. I’d suggest you do this with any training you come up against that’s like this.
Oh and also don’t wait for things to get better as I did. I wanted to ask for my money back after the first week, when I found the “guru” wasn’t to be present in our actual class meetings. But I thought “wait and see”. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. So I let it go too long and the “ask for a refund by this date” blew past me. If you get that icky feeling in the pit of your stomach – pull out and ask for a refund immediately. Learn from my mistake please.
So yes, I get it.
Speaking as a business owner….taking responsibility for everything in my business, A-Z is the ONLY thing I can do and remain in integrity. I can pass some jobs off to other people who do them better than me (and do!) but the buck stops with me, the business owner. You too, I bet.
I’ve fluffed it with my students before and done my best to make it up to them. Sometimes due to family issues or pressures of writing a book or producing an intensely-engaging product, I’ve let commitments to my students slide. And mostly, they’ve understood, gone “Uh, hello – we’re here and we need help” and that’s all it took for me to get back to them. If you’re at this place in a training, schedule a one-on-one with the teacher and let them know they’re letting you down.
BUT CAVEAT EMPTOR: BUYER BEWARE. BE SURE FIRST – that you have a reasonable expectation of a seller’s behavior and what you should be getting (what was promised) out of the product or program. If you were promised a private session with the guru and it hasn’t come to pass, call them on it. If you EXPECT an hour (or more) of coaching and only half an hour was promised – don’t go there. Be reasonable.
“When In Frustration” Coaching Tip:
On the flipside…when you’re dealing with little to no content, upsell-upsell-upsell and blah answers to your serious questions…it’s not very attractive, is it? Pisses you off. But, despite all that, those of us who have gone through this kind of experience have a really good filter set to tell those without integrity from those we’d like better.
Take that filtering you gained, as a GOOD OUTCOME of this experience, along with the valuable tools you did learn.
Remember where in your body you FELT IT when you realized you’d been had. Then if you go for another opportunity like this, check in with that part of the body not once but several times before you make your final decision. This kind of thing happens no matter what the price of the intro product is. It’s the quality of the teacher involved, not the price point. Vote with your feet in such cases.
Amanda shares:“She tells us because we received such a large discount, we’re not getting the same benefits that her private clients get…”
Well that’s just dandy, isn’t it? It almost sounds like a “neener, neener, you can’t have any” when I’ll bet what she meant to do was entice you into buying up to the private client level. So your coach really doesn’t know how to communicate correctly. Not only did she misrepresent the benefits, but had crappy delivery. You’re miffed and I understand that. You bought the product and by gosh, you wanted those results promised on the sales page! Fair enough.
I don’t know how the product was offered, if you were offered a choice of three tiers on the page and chose the least expensive, or just how it went down. But Communication is the issue here. Often a tiered stack is how such offers will be presented. Here’s how most of us do this, either in a sales page or through a sales conversation with someone:
“Inexpensive Package A gets these benefits ( typically followed by a bullet point list). Medium-range Package B gets all the benefits of Package A PLUS the following bullet-point list of extras. Expensive Package C gets all the benefits in A and B and ALSO these following bullet pointed benefits.”
That way, there are no mistakes, and your buyer knows exactly what they’re getting.
The Responsible Position, or, what your coach didn’t do:
As a business owner, if I realized I screwed up and people were disgruntled, I’d give them their money back and say so long if that’s what they wanted. I’ve done this when weirdness has happened and it’s always the best policy. No harm, no foul. Particularly if misrepresentation is on the table, you’ve every right to ask for your money back.
Also as the business owner, I’d want if possible, to repair relations with the disgruntled person, and if not, to have their angry energy out of my environment as soon as possible.
If you’re a coach, teacher or other service provider in such as situation – give back the money. Trust me, you NEVER need money like this. It’s poison that will contaminate the energy of your business.
Give it up.
However….let’s look at the other side of this equation – Outcome Expectancy.
On this side of the fence, the consumer can equally be responsible for what happens in a buying transaction. Lets float an analogy of vendors at the county fair. After hearing a vendor extol the virtues of his apple PIE, a customer passes the pie counter, picks up and pays for a single APPLE….but in his own mind for whatever reason, EXPECTS to get the entire PIE.
The vendor, happy with making an apple sale, adds value by caramel coating the apple, and kicks in a coupon for a dollar off a whole pie. The vendor sees this as an “I’m being nice” upgrade.
The customer, due to their Outcome Expectancy of wanting the whole $20 pie for the 50¢ apple price, sees this as a scam and tells all their friends “The Apple Pie guy took my money and didn’t give me what I paid for!”
The sign in front of the apples says “Apples, 50¢”. The vendor took 50¢ from the customer. That’s pretty transparent. So why does the anger happen on the customer’s part? He made assumptions way beyond the scope of the product’s stated worth or intrinsic value.
Ok, so this is a silly analogy, but you get the point and can extrapolate out to things you might have bought and been dissatisfied with.
Let’s just say this is the case with a product like a $97 taster sample of what that coach had to offer. It was fully explained on the sales page, the upscale training was also explained in a series of bullet points as outlined above.
Any training inexpensive as $97 is BOTH a complete training in – whatever facet of the major topic it is designed to address – PLUS a “taster” of the coach’s services should you wish to engage them at a deeper level. But it’s NO WAY meant to be a full training in the entire scope of the topic, A-Z. That’s what the higher level trainings are for. You jump in, get your feet wet and if you like what you’ve learned, you level-up and get more info. This is the “college approach” where you take English 101 before English 201, 301, 401 & 501. Same idea. Such trainings are incremental and build on each other.
This common laddering of skills learning should not be seen as “scamming” by the public unless the trainer really poorly communicates this concept.
Let’s say the coach is on the up & up with this, and has fairly represented themself from the beginning.
But the buyer wants more and ASSUMES that ALL their needs will be fulfilled by the cheaper option. Well you know that old saying about assuming so I won’t repeat it here. Suffice to say before you buy, do a REALITY CHECK.
Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself:
1) Why am I buying this product?
2) What do I hope to get out of it?
3) Does what I want to get and my eventual goal match up to the description of the training or product?
if not…then consider another purchase. If you STILL feel you should be getting a huge pretty package of more stuff than advertised for that price then…
Some tough love:
When you pay $97 for a cut-price hotel room do you complain to the manager because you weren’t given the honeymoon suite? No, of course not. If you’d got the honeymoon suite for $97 you’d wonder what the heck was wrong with the room.
(I’d probably be checking the closet for Mother at this point)
The honeymoon suite, just like any premium level product, contains much more care lavished on it at greater expense – personal attention from an assigned wait-person, much bigger space and more amenities, an in-room spa, nicer bed, assorted extra food and toiletry items and so on. You’d expect to pay more for a premium product like that and be suspicious if the honeymoon suite were offered to you for peanuts. (as well you should be)
Ditto a premium priced coaching program where the coach spends more time on her clients, gives them extra insider secrets, or a private phone line to contact her with, or advanced training or free live events etc. that those who pay for lesser products don’t get.
You get what you pay for, and shouldn’t expect the Premium Product for a relatively cheap investment. And yes, the $47 or $97 class is a relatively cheap investment.
I’m not talking to anyone in particular here, but IF this speaks to your sentiments….why would you be miffed at not getting what a coach’s premium clients get for the substantially cheaper fee you paid for a reduced-service product?
Would you expect your doctor or dentist to give you such a steep discount? No. Don’t expect it of any business coach, therapist or other service provider. It disrespects the provider and yourself too.
Does that cheese you off? Get Over It. This is How authors, coaches, speakers, healers, therapists and everyone else, online or off, make a living.
If you’re a subscriber of mine & think we should be giving the product of our hard work, hearts and souls away for cheap or free – please unsubscribe from my list right this minute. You’ll be doing us both a favor.
And..this is why like many coaches, I do joint ventures with organizations like Maestro Conference and people like Linda Pannell, Lisa Garr, Debra Thompson, Adela Rubio, Ellen Britt, Michelle Skaletski Boyd and Tom Buford to name a few. Folks who offer free teachings to anyone who can pick up a phone or listen on computer.
So that there is an option for folks who are cash-strapped.
So that there is a range of offers for all ends of the spectrum. And I pack that option as full of value for the short time we’re together as I pack my longer paid programs.
I Do Not however, serve the gratitude-free.
Neither should you.
TWO Coaching Tips:
Before purchase, ASK EVERY QUESTION YOU NEED TO about a product, the guarantee for that product, what exact parts the product contains and so on.
If you expected marketing training out of a basic EFT course and didn’t check it out, that would be one example of an incorrect assumption & expectation plus failure to verify parameters of the deal. DO. NOT. ASSUME.
So if you didn’t ask, your bad. If the vendor didn’t take every opportunity to clarify the parameters to you – their bad.
I personally have been on both sides of this, so yes I can speak to both the customer and the vendor bit. We’re all learning, making mistakes (there is no failure, only feedback – remember?) and growing. 
2nd Tip - WANT for others what you want for yourself. In the note above I asked you to unsubscribe if you wanted me to give you things that are immensely valuable for cheap or free. That means you don’t want me to make a living which besides being disrespectful also prevents YOU from making a living.
Check your feelings and your life – if you have this feeling of deep entitlement like the world (or me, or anyone else) “owes” you, how are your finances? Probably not great.
Truly abundant people want to share the wealth. It’s a lesson to take if you want to improve your life – want for others what you want for yourself.
Tune in again tomorrow for PART II: Crucial Knowledge, Scouting Badges & Why Having a Kitten in your Tummy Is Good For You
@DesWalsh, Australian blogger of note has had a master stroke of genius. We were talking about #ThomasLeonard the other day and how he would have embraced social media. Probably been part-owner of something like Twitter only next gen. And Des says “What do you think about us coaches getting together and talking on Twitter like we did when Thomas was around?”
If you don’t run an online business, you wouldn’t necessarily know all the components that go into a pricing or product partitioning decision. If you have your own business, a lot of what I’m going to say now will be old hat. But remember that your clients and customers all too often don’t have such education. And because they don’t understand the back end of how a coaching or therapy business works, their perceptions can be a little skewed.
5) Just as every teacher and coach out there, I can’t (and wouldn’t even if I could) give you the farm in a one hour class or free ebook, and have too much respect for myself and my hardworking team to give away our work for free other than the free telesminar and other events I already participate in.
Plus, you’re aware of the integrity gap and how icky that feels.
Now you know how good holding a baby, petting a puppy or kitten or getting a hug makes you feel…right? Feels good in the tummy, happy and warm, doesn’t it?
If you’ve been following the 
Several older Brits I heard in cafes hearked back to the days of rationing during and after World War II.
More productive like packing (done=done) and looking forward to my flight. In addition to getting home, it’s one of the best sleeps I’ve had on an airplane. British Airways is one of the few to offer full lie-down seats in Business class. Most seats that say they lie down flat only recline to within 30 degrees of flat so you’re at a kind of odd angle. I can actually stretch out in the BA sleeping pod and snooze almost as good as in bed at home. There’s a tv with on-demand movies, a plug for your laptop and peripherals and lockable storage drawer for same. You get a real sense of privacy and they provide earplugs and an eyeshade so the world goes away.
“Doggone our families! Why can’t they just ‘get’ us sometimes?”. Lia, who’s been mentoring with me for several years was quite cross over her sister’s unwillingness to use EFT to deal with her marital breakup. Lia had cured her sugar addiction in coaching with me using EFT and wanted badly to help her sister, Martha.
One of the most frequent arguments I used to have with my partner revolved around being misinterpreted. They said I said something I know I didn’t say, but that’s the way they heard it. I said they said something they swear they never did, but that’s how I heard it. We interpreted each other, through the filters of our own experience, expectation and personal misery. And every time we did, we invited both ourselves and each other to slip deeper into slumber, away from consciousness.
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