Everyday Bliss

In case you missed all the clues I’ve been dropping on Twitter, FaceBook, LinkedIn and other places, I am going to be spending my birthday month of APRIL IN PARIS, baby! Paris! (pictoral tour of the ‘hood is down below) Yep, I’m leaving the hubby and kitties at home and going on an all-inclusive American Woman’s Dream Vacation of a Lifetime to celebrate that once in a lifetime marker for a woman:

TURNING 50 YEARS OLD
(made it…whew!)

And…stay tuned because I’m going to make it possible for YOU TO COME WITH ME. Yep, you read it right,

YOU CAN COME TO PARIS WITH ME!

While not everyone can jump a jet and come on over, you CAN  check it out live and won’t have to leave the comfort of your armchair. Promise. I wouldn’t go without taking everyone interested in evolution, transformation, a LIVE ETHOS workshop, new friends, gourmet food, sexy accents and having a good time!

Hold onto your hats: there’s more juice in this baby than a whole orchard full of fresh peaches!

You probably already know that 25 years ago I was hit by a drunk driver and paralyzed, gaining over 150lbs. And how it took me nine years to walk, even though the doctors said I would never walk again.

I’ll be teaching some super-secrets of how I taught myself how to do “the impossible” and reverse paralysis, PLUS how I’ve lost 70+ pounds in the last year and a bit. Add to that my own “energy facelift” exercises and how YOU too can learn to:

“ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE”

• Everybody’s been asking me why my pants are falling off! You’ll have a ringside seat as I CONTINUE TO LOSE WEIGHT in Paris, scarfing down all that lovely  gluten-free super-fresh French market food. I’ll teach you how to make some of my favorite yummy dishes too, so you get “Gourmet Paris” and “GlutenFree” too.
• Yes, I’m down four sizes and counting. You’ll learn some of my extra cool weightloss secrets, too
• Plus you’ll visit Parisian restaurants, get to meet neighbors and friends and get the scoop on famous landmarks and not-famous-but-cool Parisian places, people and things.
• You’ll even get to help PLAN MY DAY by telling me where YOU want to go in Paris. I’ll  take you with me – it’ll be the next best thing to being there!
• And of course, you’ll also learn how to Achieve The Impossible in your own life through THIRTY WHOLE DAYS OF LIFE-SHIFTING LESSONS, learning how to get yourself to Possible and Do-able. That’s the Whole Point. 
• You also really need to be here if you’ve always wanted to have a super jumbo deluxe vacation for yourself and you never got to take one.
• Oh yes, there will be massage and spa stuff. And coffee. And sidewalk cafe action. And girlfriends. And a live ETHOS Workshop. And lots and LOTS of energy.

I’ll be getting back to you a little later on the specifics, but if you’re interested in becoming an Early Adopter (we reward Early Adopters very heavily around here)  you can join the  “Achieve The Impossible” Experience in Paris  by filling in this handy form. I’ll be holding some very special calls and giving you previews of what’s going to happen and also what isn’t. Only those on this list will get notification of these juicy free calls, so do sign up now – I’ll even send you a free gift!

“Doggone our families! Why can’t they just ‘get’ us sometimes?”. Lia, who’s been mentoring with me for several years was quite cross over her sister’s unwillingness to use EFT to deal with her marital breakup. Lia had cured her sugar addiction in coaching with me using EFT and wanted badly to help her sister, Martha.

Martha felt EFT was “too weird” however, and wouldn’t discuss it further, telling Lia “that stuff’s okay for you but it’s just too way out there for me”. Lia was frustrated, sick with worry for her sister (which we tapped on) and didn’t know what to do next.

I can SO relate.

When I first started to share energy coaching with my non-energy-savvy family, they raised their eyebrows, laughed, politely patted my hand and said “it’s great you found a hobby, dear”.

Most of us have had friends or relatives roll their eyes at one another and been the odd duck out in more traditional circles when we try to share energy transformation modalities.

But there’s a great way you can get people into the joys of living a clearer, happier life through energy work. And that is….

Drop the jargon.

Don’t say one acronym – not ETHOS, not EFT, not BSFF or any of the hundred others you might know.

In fact, don’t talk about the tool at all.

Just casually talk to your friends or family members about how they feel. And as you’re speaking with them about what isn’t right in their life, as they are in the depths of the “Dang it, if only I’d have had the guts to….” or “It just KILLS me that I didn’t…” or “I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s driving me nuts!”

Ask: “How would you rather feel?”

This usually stops people in their tracks.

“Huh?” they’ll say “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what would you really want to feel like, if you could drop this feeling of (hurt, anger, betrayal, jealousy, guilt, shame etc.)?”

Then listen and be really open to what they are telling you without the NEED on your part to fix them, or what’s going on.

Your dropping the need you have to make it all better for other people is HUGE!

When I realized this, and simply listened without attachment to the other person’s outcome (and we’re talking about people I’d gladly give my life for, dear friends and family members), all of a sudden, THEY became more open to what I had to say about HOW to make their situation better.

Then, when they’ve told you how they’d rather feel, acknowledge what they’ve said and ask them:

“Would you like to get a little bit of the way to that place right now?”

If they say yes, then if you practice EFT for instance, get them to tap their HAND points as they tell you their story. Importantly, get them to rate their SUDS or intensity of feeling BEFORE you begin tapping.

And chances are, you’ll get them a good piece of the way down the road, not just a little bit, but it’s a good clean-energy practice to under-promise and over-deliver. That way, folks you’re working with get that extra bit that makes them feel like they got a bonus for free. And that’s something we all love. 

It’s important to start off with something they won’t immediately dismiss as weird looking or “too much to remember”. Using just the hand points addresses a large amount of the person’s intensity level without the overwhelm the whole EFT “recipe” can bring new tappers.

You tap, and tell them just to follow what you’re doing as they tell their story. By and by they’ll be on autopilot, tapping their finger points and karate chop point and telling their story.

As they tell their story, tail enders will come up, guide them to tap on these using just the hand points as well.

When they’ve been talking and tapping for about five minutes, ask them to rate their SUDS or intensity level again.

Most will find a few points shaved off, if not more. I’ve had family look at me with surprise on their faces and say bluntly “I thought all that stuff was just [*steer manure*], but I’ll be doggoned, this [*manure*] really works!”

Now, they enthusiastically tap with other family members who think they’re just as cuckoo as I am.

But they feel better about themselves and their lives. And I don’t care if they think I’m cuckoo, as long as we all feel the best we possibly can.

Because, and this is another important lesson, especially for newbies, the better we feel, the more better feeling experiences we attract.

And that’s a story for another day.

I hope this has been helpful. Let me know how you’re teaching your family to use the energy methods you know and love – you can put a post in the forums or in a blog on the ETHOS Community at:

http://ethosmethod.ning.com

Or feel free to leave a comment on this post below – use the handy-dandy tools in the orange bar at the bottom of the page to keep up the conversation!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you & a lovely rest of the week!

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

Do you know about Kwanzaa? It is celebrated to honor the first fruits of Harvest and happens this week, December 26th – January 1st as a festival of African-American culture, beauty and unity. I didn’t know about this beautiful festival until just a few years ago, though it was begun in America in 1966 by black studies professor, Maulana Karenga.

Below is a primer from BeliefNet.com to enjoy. There is a space between the early December holy days of Hanukkah and Solstice, this year on the 21st, then between Solstice and Christmas on the 25th and Christmas and New Year’s on January 1st. Kwanzaa wonderfully carries on the holy days festival calendar with its timeless Seven Principles.

This year, I am taking as a personal motto and charge:

Principle of Ujima: Collective Work and Responsibility

You might say 2010 is the Year of Ujima for all conscious people to rise and together, swing this world away from destruction the prophets of doom predict and slew our collective Bliss Compass around so the wind’s at our backs this time  ~ towards a kind land where Presence, equanimity and good faith exist among all.

For a start.

Check out what else Kwanzaa means and follow the links back to BeliefNet for more info:

HOW MUCH DID YOU LEARN? TAKE THE KWANZAA QUIZ TO FIND OUT.

“37 Days To Personal Grace”

One of the most frequent arguments I used to have with my partner revolved around being misinterpreted. They said I said something I know I didn’t say, but that’s the way they heard it. I said they said something they swear they never did, but that’s how I heard it. We interpreted each other, through the filters of our own experience, expectation and personal misery. And every time we did, we invited both ourselves and each other to slip deeper into slumber, away from consciousness.

Why?

Because to interpret is to leave room for error…which hooks human beings’ need to be right…which creates arguments…which are all about Not Being Awake. Which is in the opposite direction of your Bliss Compass pointer.

Here’s a great quote on this from psychotherapist Barry Stevens, with thanks to Tom for this reference. She famously quipped:

I don’t like to be interpreted.

a) If I respect the interpreter, I am apt to think that he must be right and he may actually be wrong.

b) He may be right at one level. I may agree with him. This cuts me off from the deeper level where the interpretation is not true.

c) If  he is right and I am not willing to admit it, I become rigid in excluding his interpretation.

Rigidity is death; flexibility is life.

I don’t like to interpret.

a) I interpret you according to me, or according to some scheme.

b) Repeatedly, when I notice my interpretation, withhold it, “you” prove me wrong by what comes from you, and I’m so very glad I didn’t point you in the wrong direction.

Sometimes “you” arrive at something that meets my interpretation (I don’t know if you do this by following the same scheme) – and move on, and get at something deeper.

I am with Fritz on: “Even if I am right, I rob you of discovering it yourself.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Amen on that last line, yes indeed. The Fritz referred to is the founder of Gestalt Psychotherapy, Fritz Perls, with whom Stevens worked.

What is that furrow
on your brow,
a sigh of sorrow
imprinted on the skin?
What clings sullen
to the bone,
contracting your heart?

What do you fear,
have horror of,
long to forget,
despise and loathe
so much

that it leaves its
convoluted intent
on the roadmap
of your face?

And more importantly,
what do you REALLY desire?

Think on that and know:

That nothing is truly wrong.

Nothing is truly required of you,

but to live and be happy.

What is meant for you can never truly be lost,
because nothing can actually be lost.

Lost is a point of view,
a Limiting Belief.

Though forms may change,
everything always exists
for energy cannot be destroyed.

What is meant for you is still right in front of you.

Have you the eyes to see it?

Have you the ears to hear its message?

Have you the heart to feel its

fresh,

pure,

delicious energy…

pulling you forward?

If not…

Step aside,

into the Real You…

and continue the journey.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* Travelogue: Been fueled on inspiration from the stunning Oregonian waterfalls this week on our tour of the Pacific Northwest. I snapped the above picture at Multnomah Falls prior to a hike where we got ecstatically drenched. The words rolled out during an intro on ETHOS that I taught in a community center shortly after that.  “Stepping aside” is ETHOS speak for stepping back inside our Unlimited Self – that energetic template of the ‘perfect you’ that we all started out in life, and that is still available to us. The ETHOS Method is a free, worldwide healing and consciousness tool that I created, and you can learn more about here.

In case you hadn’t heard, I’m on a mission to get people loving their lives again. The content I’ll be putting out for the next little while is geared around this.

So if you haven’t yet joined our open-all-year Love Your Life Again class,  you can still benefit from some of the highlights here at the blog, and let me know what YOUR answers to some of the provocative Love Your Life Again questions are — if you dare! 

Question of the Day:

“If I were granted an EXTRA LIFE in addition to my own, what grand and glorious thing would I choose to do with it? ”

…

And now for the kicker:

Each day you are granted a whole new life.

Live the change you want to see.

BE the hero you wish would save you.

…and if in a day it doesn’t work out, remember, there’s always that OTHER brand new life you get when you wake up tomorrow…

…Or for that matter, every single second of every day….for every second is an invitation to be in the Now, to come to Presence and use your awareness to do great things. If this second doesn’t work out, there’s always the next, and the next, and the next.

The nice thing is, it’s always Now.

Your moment to shine beautifully is Here.

Use it wisely.

I just met a wonderful new person on Twitter: @stillettochick a.k.a. Betty-Ann Heggie. She’s an energy junkie like me and had this wonderful post on her blog:

Is the Energy in Your City Serving You?

Aug 28, 2009 – Saskatoon, Sask.: Is the energy of your city serving you? A friend in Europe emailed me to say that when she enters a city, she feels the energy and can tell whether it’s male or female. For instance, she spent most of her life in Zurich and got a definite masculine vibe from its focus on production efficiency. She now lives in Prague, which has been called the “mother of cities”; indeed, she feels a warm, loving, healing embrace from the city. I experienced this when our daughter was choosing a university. We drove to many good schools that she wasn’t even interested in touring once we arrived and she felt the energy of the city.

To see if there was anything to this, I contacted Patty Beach, an expert on masculine and feminine energy…

This is a great article as is Betty-Ann’s blog. I spent a few moments reading through articles here today and now have a great new blog to add to my daily reading list.

Check out the rest of this great post at Betty-Ann’s blog:  Stilletto Chick Sees The World.

There’s nothing for revealing the truth like a chat with a girlfriend. I was talking this summer to my bookkeeper and gal pal Paula about how much we loved our lives and why others we knew didn’t. Paula said to me “You know Maryam, people just want to feel good about themselves. But in this economy, and with all the violence going on in the world, they just don’t. What can we do to help people out?”

Why don’t people love their lives? It’s a question that has driven many of us (me included) into therapy, coaching, spiritual studies and years of self-examination. For many here, it’s what has driven us to divorce, separation and anxiety-driven lifestyles.

We talked some more about how much of what appears in our lives is illusory, and how people sometimes buy into illusions that make them miserable. People are going through some very hard times caused by those illusions right now and misery is widespread. The rough truth of this caught my attention – this is something I can help with, I thought.

I examined my life to determine why, other than the obvious,I loved my life when many with far more in the way of possessions and prestige seemed so miserable. I came to some valuable conclusions that I wanted to share with you, as I believe just examining these issues in your life can make you so much happier. I am presenting these as coaching questions for you to use alone or with a mastermind partner or coaching buddy, and to pass on to those whose happiness you care about.

Powerful Coaching Questions
To Start Loving Your Life Again

1)  If you shed the false illusions you live under, you’ll be a lot happier. An example of a false illusion might be “If s/he falls in love with me, my life will be perfect.” That makes YOUR emotional state dependent on the whims of someone else. Who may never fall in love with you, or if they do, may turn out to be a nightmare.

Same thing goes with “When I win the lottery, I’ll finally be happy” or “When the divorce finally comes through I’ll be happy”. Why wait? Choose to be happy today, regardless! Happiness is available to both princess and pauper. What we think of as externally-created emotions are ALL self-generated chemical combinations cooked up inside your own body. YOU have the power to change your emotional state simply by choosing what you want. So ask yourself: “What is True about this situation?” All of it? None of it? 15% of it?

What is yours, take responsibility for and change. What comes from someone else, give back.

To do that, ask of unwanted emotions: “Who does this belong to?”  Is the illusion self-created, or another person’s that you’ve bought into? Women are tremendously sensitive to energy. Oftentimes the angst, sudden anger or even menstrual cramps you’re feeling don’t really belong to you, but come from your neighbor next door or a stranger you passed in a crowd.

Our bodies are giant tuning mechanisms for Radio Station Y-O-U. What you give the most attention to in your thoughts will broadcast outward energetically and will attract back to you similar emotions, situations and people. One of the things your body does naturally is to “pick up” other people’s broadcasts of negative emotions, pain, or symptoms. This too is an illusion, because these feelings aren’t really yours. Asking “who does this belong to” helps you realize – and drop – other’s expectations and energy.

2)  You don’t need to know the answer to any of these questions, just keep asking them and the change will happen. If you learn to live in the question, without hardening and fixing your expectations around “the one true answer”, you’ll be happier because answers come more abundantly. Bellyaching about how bad things are or saying “this is just the way it is and there’s no point in hoping for better” only keeps you in the rut you’re in.

When you say “I wonder what it would take to start my own business?” instead of griping about not having one, you free yourself to go find out what it would take, get funding if necessary, study up for professional exams and so on. Use “I wonder what it would take…” to defuse the natural human tendency to gravitate towards the negative.

3) If we know the right questions to ask, we open up even more possibilities for happiness than ever before. Here’s an absolute barn-burner of a question to ask – and not be attached to any answer or outcome of:

“What generative energy, space and consciousness can I be to manifest ______________?”

Then say: “Anything that wouldn’t allow that to happen, I uncreate, dissolve and release it completely” and let it go.

If you have difficulty letting things go, I created a quick and easy consciousness bringing method that features healing of “issues” as a welcome side effect. It’s called ETHOS, it works beautifully, invisibly, and is entirely free to the public. You can download the whole method and participate if you like, in our online support community at: http://ethosmethod.ning.com

Put these questions to work and I guarantee, you’ll be happier, open more options in your life and witness amazing things happening that you never would have expected – gifts from nowhere, funds you forgot you were owed, old friends calling you’d wondered about just this morning and more. I’ve even seen miracle cures when people simply stopped needing to know the answer and rested contentedly in the arms of the question.

Try it, you’ll see!

And if you want more structured support around getting happy please do join our “Ethos For Loving Your Life Again” class in September. Bonuses & $70 off until September 1st. Read about it here:

http://maryamwebster.com/ethosclass/

And if you’d like to reply to this article with your experiences, you can do that in the contact form below. I’d really love to read what you have to say. B-)