Everyday Bliss

Though I will be revealing the awesome, amazing, Tour-Of-Paris-Included LYLA (Love Your Life Again) DVD set soon, that’s not what we’re talking about today. Finally, something good to write about my geolocation. Though there is much good in the Golden State of California, the press usually has a heyday with our out of control actors (those in Hollywood and in government), budget shortfalls and commercial cannabis growing in Oaksterdam. But a social media based study just out today indicates that by and large, we’re happy with our lot. Chris Matyszczyk of “Technically Incorrect” explains, after which I have something to add:

Twitter finds West Coast is happier than East

(original article)

People on the East Coast whine and socially climb until their entrails are mazes of envy, sleeplessness, and dubious mind-fooling substances. They look over their shoulders so much that their necks and minds are permanently twisted. And then there’s the weather.

Well, at least that was my personal experience when I lived in New York. And now it is largely supported by research performed by some very possibly whining and social-climbing researchers from Harvard and Northeastern universities.

These fine and troubled minds were determined to ascertain just how happy Americans are. And, because they needed to place their fingers upon every wrist of American humanity in order to be sure of its pulse, they turned to Twitter.

The New Scientist tells me that the hard-working researchers analyzed 300 million tweets to determine just when and where people are happiest and saddest in the United States.

What they found was, very unsurprisingly, that the the highly civilized, caring, relaxed, open-minded, very relaxed after lunch, prettier, and more delectable West Coast is “significantly happier” than the miserable gulag of greed that is the East.

Click to read original article here)

I was just munching on this and thinking. The East Coast was set up to be a port of commerce to the then-known world. Its focus has always been on moving goods and people, the faster the better. The West Coast was the place where we looked for an alternative view, where we kept our forbidden dreams and secret desires. I’m not speaking in sexual terms, but in terms of what it would be like if we had a perfect life. “What if I just picked up and went west?” our ancestors used to think. “I’ve heard the good life is just out there for the taking!”

Similarly, the “Left Coast” has become known as a place to get your internal groove back, to quash your emotional hangups and live the good life in peace and plenty. Many who came crapped out quite literally, lost their homes, money, health. Many have returned in the last few years where they came from. But…that peace and plenty is still here. The study above may or may not prove it, but if you’re here and you don’t have your bliss on yet, then keep seeking. The thing you give AIR – Attention, Intention and Repetition – will come to you. Works every time. The key is persistence.

* Hint: You can also get the good life in the Heartland, the far North, the South and Southwest and yes, even on the East Coast. It’s all a matter of perspective.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking & research on something interesting happening right now: the transformation of our species at the sub-DNA/energetic level. I’ve been tracking changes in human energetic evolution from the time I was born. You could say it’s a hobby.

Is it such a leap from accepting that electrons exist, to see, feel and experience the sub-physical energy template that our bodies, animals, plants, our houses, what we think and feel – that everything is made of? For me, as for many out there, it’s a logical conclusion.

Even though we can’t see energy (though many people can)

Even though we can’t feel it (though you can learn to)

Even though at some levels it’s not measurable by some instruments (though it is by others)

We are changing our DNA at the energetic level, yes, but also the energy itself and our ability to perceive, receive and know it, is also changing.

The human family is experiencing a sense of opening up to greater flow and capacity of energy and the knowledge of how to shape it.

Have you noticed that today’s children are markedly more capable and creative and just brilliant than generations that went before? It’s not only that each generation thinks this, but that today’s kids have access to exponentially more resources and energetic frequencies than we did when we were their age – we have increased our capacity to perceive, know, be and receive so much more that today’s children are coming in solving problems in first grade we didn’t even know about until college. Really.

People who would not have talked about or accepted energy healing in years past are now scheduling regular Reiki or EFT sessions. Older forms of relating to each other are falling away and going from a society of individualists to one which is coming more and more to the model of co-creating our futures together.

Abraham talks about evolving through the contrast you have drawn towards you. You draw to you the people, places, situations and physical symptoms which are in opposition to, and give you a benchmark of what you really want. We can’t know what light is without experiencing dark and vice versa. We draw a crappy relationship to show us how we really want to be treated.

This is also how we learn as children. We don’t know true happiness until we have experienced unhappiness. We don’t know what we want to grow up and be until we sample various careers, dream about what we want from life, experiment, get happy with something and go for it. When we’re kids, doing what feels good is so easy, there’s no resistance, no putting others’ needs, preferences and shoulds/musts/oughts first.

If we could only keep this perspective when we grow up!

Sometimes, this is the hardest thing as a parent to allow their children to do.

Wayne Dyer quoting Lao Tzu on children said poignantly:

“You do not own your children, they come through you but are not of you”.

Children have their own dharma or mission and purpose in life Dyer says, it is not your business as a parent to try and force them into anything they do not want.

We are each born with an inbuilt sense of guidance – our Bliss Compass – that if we allow it, will unerringly point us the way to our True Mission.

Great advice for parents and teachers. Through us, but not of us. We don’t own them, it’s not our business to program them. Guide them through the minefield of early life, then let them do what they were uniquely put here for.

Many people live miserable, broken-hearted lives, still slaves to mom and dad’s idea of how the world “has to be”.

Can we please stop forcing children into molds they don’t want, can’t use and have to go to a therapist thirty years in the future to spend five years undoing, so they can do what will truly make their hearts sing?

Parents, you don’t want that kind of life for your children.

No matter how cool or clued-in we are, we really don’t know what’s good for our kids past teaching them how to use available resources and keeping them from killing themselves or anyone else until they’ve reach the age of majority.

Just watching friends children has been a remarkable education in how super-proficient kids are today and at younger and younger ages. Only they can find their own true path in life.

What we can do as parents is to support that and be open to where our children’s path takes them.

Thank them for who they are, what they offer, and how they have chosen to manifest.

They came through you, but are not of you.

Use this powerful moment to release any attachment to how things “should” be, “must” be or “could have” been, and any thoughts of needing to control. Allow the “through” part of Lao Tzu’s statement to be the energy you breathe these attachments out on.

Breathe out the need to control how children grow, what they prefer, how they choose to shape their lives.

Our urges towards control are about us, not about your child or anyone else. They mean we are far from our own Source Energy or Unlimited Self. Step back into Unlimited Self, center in your own Source Energy and the need to control others will dissolve.

Thank you to my beloved Mother for asserting when I was in the cradle and every day from that time until her death and beyond, that I could do anything I set my mind to.

She was right, and I thank her once again for that invaluable support. I realize many people weren’t lucky enough to grow up with a supportive parent.

If you were pushed from childhood to be something your parents thought you should be, and you really don’t want to be, there are decades of deferring to others and the now-strong sense that you must bow to the desires of others to deal with. You can Transform this, as all things.

We are in the continual process of transforming, as a species

As Generative Creators of our lives we are in constant evolution. Life itself flows through us, but is not of us. As a species making important energetic and physical transitions and upgrades in all of our systems, we transform what we can in our lives, keep what works, and discard the rest.

We incrementally improve ourselves as a clump, and as individuals by allowing transformative energies to flow through us, and not become “of us”, or get stuck in our energy field.

When we fix our thoughts, feelings or beliefs around an idea, belief or situation, the energy creating it stagnates and creates discomfort. When we let our energy flow freely by releasing attachment to ideas, beliefs and outcomes, we can most easily transform.

Here’s a scenario I’m seeing  that tends to be one pathway people are choosing to use to get themselves to wake up:

First we we get angry about the circumstances of our life and how crappy it is. Out of this comes the realization of the importance of  what the Truth is about our situation. The fact that we’re not “Living Our Truth”, has caused our life to become negative and uncomfortable.  And…

…a lot of indicators come into our lives as we continue to yearn towards that Truth that show us…

What we’re really yearning for is connection to our own Source Energy/Unlimited Self.  We have diverged widely from Source with everything in our lives that we chose to feel badly about. What we choose to feel badly about = things our energy is stuck/fixed/stagnant around.

And out of this comes the understanding that…

Feeling Bad = Going away from Source energy/our True or Unlimited Self

Feeling Good = Going towards or being at one with Source Energy/Unlimited Self

We learn that whenever we Feel Good, things tend to happen smoothly and the things we  wanted just fall into our laps as if by magic. And more opportunities to feel good manifest, the more we work for everyone feeling good.

In this paradigm, the equation for success in life, real success, looks like this:

Feeling Good + Focus on Feeling Even Better + Joyously Living in Service = Incredible Growth individually & collectively. We realize this is how we achieve reconnection to Source.

And the fact that Who We Are is not divisible from Source Energy.

And that everyone else, and all that surrounds us is made of the same thing…Source Energy

and that we’re always changing…

…through us, not of us….

Transforming yourself can be a sticky wicket. Even after many years of self-work, you can still get caught out in traps from childhood like having fixed images of what we or our children should, could, ought or must do, be or have.

More parental programming to undo. A delicate balance to maintain.

Flow through, release, let go.

It’s so easy…just relax into it.

Stay centered in who you really are:

Not your parent’s programming.

Not your partner’s.

Nobody else’s.

Just the Real you….

Your Unlimited Self.

A Question From Me To You:

How do you balance your evolution, that of your energy body and all your systems, with those parental programs that work, with those that don’t?

If you have thoughts on this, I’d love to continue the conversation with you. Just click the “comment” link below.

*** Update to the update 4/22: I’m going all the way home, to San Francisco on Saturday, 4/24, British Airways came thru with a last minute cancellation, called and booked me in. Wahoo! Leaving the rest as it was below though for posterity and export, to quote Bill Burroughs.   ***

Here it is folks, selected highlights of being stuck as a traveller behind “The Grey Curtain”:

If you’ve been following the Paris Adventure Online, following me on Twitter or reading my updates on Facebook (pretty much the main places I’m posting while travelling) you know that like thousands of others, I’ve been stranded in Europe by the volcanic ash cloud.

And wait for it…this just in on April 21st: Heathrow now back open. Thank the Lord! Whose name apparently, is Adonis. Nope, I’m not kidding. Lord Adonis is the British Secretary of Transport in charge of such things.

The image at right was taken from BBC News on April 21 at 12:30pm Paris time. These travellers have been dossing down in the airport for almost a week, finally got boarding cards today, and are celebrating with champagne. I’m for a hot tub, massage and liberal application of chocolate, myself.

And then there were the inevitable gallows humor jokes that sprang up on Twitter and Facebook. One of the best I heard was “No, no Iceland…we said send us all your CASH. Regards, Europe”.  Here’s a random selection  of others from Britain’s Channel 4 News:

@hjortur: Sorry for the flight delays, Europe. We were aiming for London, but it’s hard to be accurate when firing a volcano .

@andylockran: ”Iceland goes bankrupt, then manages to set their island on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it”.

@pdacosta: “The last wish of the Icelandic economy was to have its ashes scattered over Europe”.

@islandpastor: “Waiter, there’s volcanic ash in my soup”… Waiter: “I know, it’s a no-fly zone”

The Personal-Ash End Of Things

Like many others, I’ve been rebooked – five times at this point. Like others, had cases packed & was literally in taxi ready to go when I fortunately got emergency call from British Airways not to come to airport.  This was the only time btw (and the third time I was rebooked) that BA notifications worked.

BA was helpful as possible but would absolutely not book me on a flight to San Francisco. I was offered any place else in Europe, when the cloud lifted, but no place in North America.

Like many others, I was reduced to begging. They’d heard it all before and while sympathetic, were not going to offer me a refund so I could book another airline that *was* flying.

“I’ll take anything to the American continent – Canada, Mexico, Peru – you go to Peru, I can see a British Airways flight to Lima from Madrid – how about that? I can get to Madrid on the train….bus…donkey cart. Anything!”

Finally, after I squeaked my wheel loud and hard enough, and made an absolute pest of myself by calling every fifteen minutes: “Ms Webster, I see this is the ninth time you’ve contacted us today, let’s see what we can do to get you home” – that’s the ticket folks! I was offered a flight out this Saturday the 24th to Phoenix, AZ. I took it and resumed praying the thing would go through.

We’re hearing that Katla, the second dormant Icelandic volcano and a bigger, nastier one (?!) is rumbling. My comment on the Facebook Ashcloud page was: “Now everybody, all together now: ‘Lullabye, and goodnight, and with roses bedight…’ Everyone keep singing ’til we all get home!”

Vagabond Coaches League & Rescue Tug

Molly (@shaboom) Gordon tweeted me that Michael Bungay (@boxofcrayons) Stanier was similarly stuck in Amsterdam. I joked with him over Twitter that we should call ourselves the “Vagabond Coaches League”, rent a tugboat and chug around European ports of call picking up stranded coaches and ferry the lot of us back home.

It would be just like Thomas Leonard’s Y2K RV trip across America to promote coaching.  We could party the night away, film the whole thing and sell book, DVDs and t-shirts as a product. It’d be a gas, gas, gas! (but no ash). Here’s our official t-shirt. Feel free to put this on your site if you’re a coach and were stranded by the ash. 

Although as to coaching, there were several opportunities for that. Group of British women tourists openly weeping in a cafe at hearing their flight was (yet-again) cancelled. When they said I could help I taught them EFT as in such situations people like to do anything to be proactive and EFT is one of the most active of the energy therapies.

We tapped and when that took the edge off, I taught them ETHOS to take them all the way into consciousness around the fact that they were safe, well fed and had a place to stay until they could get home. This is something I too am giving thanks for. They loved ETHOS and one said felt like stepping into her massage therapist’s office – it calmed her immediately. I left them with these two tools, the internet sites for more info and went off to see a museum I hadn’t gotten to see yet.

I’m good – I have a place to stay until Friday and then will do a hotel room for one night. Hopefully the shuttle I’d booked will take me to the airport rea-a-a-ally early as the flight is at gawdawful o’clock in the morning…

Short-Term Panic, Emotional Immunity & Other Biscuitry

While people were frantic to get back to their homes, we heard of fighting on trains and busses, bloodied noses on the Eurostar and a riot in Madrid. It was a relief to receive an email from ETHOS In Paris workshop participants, Anne & Jerome, saying they’d made it back to the UK with their children safely. On the whole however, I believe it’s been a time of great cameraderie, gallows humor and all.

Several older Brits I heard in cafes hearked back to the days of rationing during and after World War II.

“Ay-up lass,” one said to me philosophically “we’re all in it together. There’s nowt any one of us can do ’til that buggerin’ ash-hole’s done spewin’ its filth. Best sit tight and have another cuppa.” Rational wisdom from the mouth of a wizened Yorkshireman* old enough to be my grandpa, yet spry as a spring chicken and loaded down with Parisian goodies for his “young’uns”.

When the times get tough, the tough apparently go shopping.

But on the other paw, like many in private moments, I was caught in the grip of short-term panic and negative emotions. “Oh no, what if I never get home! What if that damned mountain spews for a year like it did in the 1800’s!”. Cue tears, railing at the universe in general and feeling sorry for myself in specific.

The worst was the feeling of stark loneliness when I was on the phone for hours with British Airways in the re-re-re-re-re-booking of my flights time after time. The toll that the stress of “not knowing” took was tremendous and had me falling into bed early, too exhausted to go out.

I wailed on the phone to my ever-patient husband who was doing his best to cope and was upset in his own right. I cried on the shoulders of friends while simultaneously trying not to. I was evil to a neighbor who snorted “Merde, l’Americaine!” for the tenth time to my face. He subsided in shock and hasn’t squeaked a word to me since. In short, I had a “little kitty fit” as we call it, when one of the cats throws a tantrum.

Once it was over, I set about employing the energy tools I had in my arsenal to shore up my Emotional Immunity. This is something I’ll be writing about more in the future, but the basis is the AM Energizers & PM Harmonizer exercises from my Everyday Bliss For Busy Women book.

How’s YOUR Emotional Immunity?

You can greatly increase it by simply tapping a round of EFT – with or without any intention or setup phrase behind it, and then doing an ETHOS set, ending up by stepping aside into Unlimited Self. When I do that, problems disappear like magic and the way is opened for me to do more productive things.

More productive like packing (done=done) and looking forward to my flight. In addition to getting home, it’s one of the best sleeps I’ve had on an airplane. British Airways is one of the few to offer full lie-down seats in Business class. Most seats that say they lie down flat only recline to within 30 degrees of flat so you’re at a kind of odd angle. I can actually stretch out in the BA sleeping pod and snooze almost as good as in bed at home. There’s a tv with on-demand movies, a plug for your laptop and peripherals and lockable storage drawer for same. You get a real sense of privacy and they provide earplugs and an eyeshade so the world goes away.

Somebody on Twitter asked about the food. They actually use china and silver service, with all the booze those who imbibe can hold. The kitchen is open through the journey with all the snacks and drinks you like and the flight attendants were some of the sweetest, even though they were in the middle of an industrial action when I flew. My halibut on the journey out was done to a turn and the veggies were crisp and good. How on earth do they do that aboard a plane?

I’m giving great thanks for all the many blessings this experience has been. Extra time with good friends, the ability to see myself rise to the occasion and surpass what I thought were my limits, increased love and expansiveness and…other things.

Will I make it back home this Saturday? Time will tell. And I’ll keep you updated.

Tune in next week for Maryam’s continuing adventures in: “Ash The World Turns”….

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Picture credit:  The Yorkshire Man by Mick Cawston: http://www.corsini.co.uk/fineart/yorkshire-terrier-prints.shtml

I haven’t packed and repacked my bags for Paris. I haven’t, as yet, even singled out which nighties, socks and skirts to take. My girlfriend Margie is scandalized by this, as to her the packing, repacking and re-repacking are a sacred ritual to be engaged in as a hedge against The Unforseen. Margie likes her trips just so, with few surprises and zero possibility of anything weird happening. People marvel that we’re friends but they do say opposites attract.

I’ll take the weird.

Weird is often much more wonderful, interesting and informative than the seen and re-seen. I’ve decided I won’t be going up in the Eiffel Tower though I may take a picture from afar…as I pass by on my way to L’Orangerie perchance. It’s supposed to be beautiful.

More beauty, ease, grace and joy please.

(thank you very much)

I’m still in the air about escargots. I love garlic butter, but now don’t really want that much oily stuff in my daily intake. And well…they’re the texture of pencil erasers and about the same size. Nice. (not) So I may visit the Great Snail of Montorgueil, but I don’t think I will actually eat one.

Either Christiane or Virginie said for the best French gourmet experience, I should opt for frog’s legs, which my mother claimed to have loved, but I keep thinking of that old George Carlin joke: “Where did they do with the rest of the froggy? Do they give him a little dolly and send him out on the street to beg?”

No frog’s legs, I just couldn’t stand the thought of being responsible for indigency in the amphibian population.

More thoughts on the morrow. When I might think about what to pack, and pull out my now-dusty French language CDs and books to have a last minute bone-up on language, customs and…food.

In case you missed all the clues I’ve been dropping on Twitter, FaceBook, LinkedIn and other places, I am going to be spending my birthday month of APRIL IN PARIS, baby! Paris! (pictoral tour of the ‘hood is down below) Yep, I’m leaving the hubby and kitties at home and going on an all-inclusive American Woman’s Dream Vacation of a Lifetime to celebrate that once in a lifetime marker for a woman:

TURNING 50 YEARS OLD
(made it…whew!)

And…stay tuned because I’m going to make it possible for YOU TO COME WITH ME. Yep, you read it right,

YOU CAN COME TO PARIS WITH ME!

While not everyone can jump a jet and get in on the live experience, you CAN check it out with me, and won’t have to leave the comfort of your armchair. Promise. I wouldn’t go without making it possible everyone interested in evolution, transformation, a LIVE ETHOS workshop, new friends, gourmet food, sexy accents and having a good time to get in on the fun!

Hold onto your hats: there’s more juice in this baby than a whole orchard full of fresh peaches!

You probably already know that 25 years ago I was hit by a drunk driver and paralyzed, gaining over 150lbs. And how it took me nine years to walk, even though the doctors said I would never walk again.

I’ll be teaching some super-secrets of how I taught myself how to do “the impossible” and reverse paralysis, PLUS how I’ve lost 70+ pounds in the last year and a bit. Add to that my own “energy facelift” exercises and how YOU too can learn to:

“ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE”

• Everybody’s been asking me why my pants are falling off! You’ll be able to model my success as I CONTINUE TO LOSE WEIGHT in Paris, scarfing down all that lovely gluten-free super-fresh French market food. I’ll teach you how to make some of my favorite yummy dishes too, so you get “Gourmet Paris” and “GlutenFree” too.
• Yes, I’m down four sizes and counting. You’ll learn some of my extra cool weightloss secrets and be able to climb inside my head to see my Body Communication & Shape Shifting program in the making. This is Practical Magic folks, for everyday comfort and best-living.
• Plus you’ll visit Parisian restaurants, get to meet neighbors and friends and get the scoop on famous landmarks and not-famous-but-cool Parisian places, people and things.
• You’ll even get to help PLAN MY DAY by telling me where YOU want to go in Paris. I’ll take you with me – it’ll be the next best thing to being there!
• And of course, you’ll also learn how to Achieve The Impossible in your own life through 4 WHOLE WEEKS OF LIFE-SHIFTING LESSONS, learning how to get your “can’t do it, it’s impossible” to “Done = Done”. (come learn the secret of what that means!) The Magic of Done is the Whole Point.
• You also really need to be here if you’ve always wanted to have a super jumbo deluxe vacation for yourself and you never got to take one.
• Oh yes, there will be massage and spa stuff. And coffee. And sidewalk cafe action. And girlfriends. And a live ETHOS Workshop. And lots and LOTS of energy.

I’ll be getting back to you a little later on the specifics, but if you’re interested in becoming an Early Adopter (we reward Early Adopters very heavily around here) you can join the “Achieve The Impossible” Experience in Paris by filling in this handy form. I’ll be holding some very special calls and giving you previews of what’s going to happen and also what isn’t. Only those on this list will get notification of these juicy free calls, so do sign up now – I’ll even send you a free gift of Parisian lore!

The Oh-So-Chic Neighborhood Tour

And now, just to wet your whistle, here are some of the sights and interesting places we’ll be surrounded by, courtesy of Google Maps:

Montorgueil is the old open market area of Paris and is close to my apartment. This is my new god, says the hubby “the Great Golden HypnoSnail”. Yes, the French really do eat snails, though my local contacts wonder if it’s become more of a touristy thing. There are seven smaller slimers if you can see ‘em – each about as big as two fists on top of L’Escargot Montorgueil. And of course The Great One. Trying to decide whether to go here for my birthday or not. What do you think? Do I have the guts to eat escargot? I wonder myself….

Here’s my front door, sandwiched as most Parisian front doors, between shop fronts. In this case “L’avion Rose” (a gay restaurant and play on the phrase “La vie en Rose” – “The Pink Life” which denotes gay culture) and Hanano sushi restaurant. I won’t lack for entertainment or food. Hope there’s a floor show…

But if I get bored, my neighbors on the right can provide me with Hip Hop & Soul records, a haircut or videos…

And next to the hip-hop shop the Librarie Scaramouche who provide theatre masks, marionettes and Commedia Dell’Arte errata. I am SO going to dive into this shop as well as the Maison de la Poésie (House of Poetry) and Theatre Moliere. Wow…and just next door to the Library Scare-a-mouse (to quote the hubby) is…

Passage Moliere! Theatrical aficionados will rejoice. As will the JBear, for right next door and not ten steps from my apartment is Jean-Bernard’s Wine Cave. Not cellar, *CAVE*. The Bear’s put in an order for a good Beaujolais.

Here’s my interesting across-the-street neighbor, what the web describes as the “Big Butch Lesbian” Unity Bar. Huzzah! Women to have drinks with! With my haircut, I’ll fit right in…

This is L’Horloge a Automate – a funky concrete plaza that goes through to the next street and contains antique clock displays. And I might get a tattoo….or not…

A store called Nag Champa! It’s GOT to have incense! Looks funky and just up the street. Woo!

And down the other way MASSAGE AND COFFEE? ARE YOU KIDDING? I am SO there! Wish they’d taken the photo when the place was open so we could get a glimpse thru the blinds…

And on the corner, a cute little breakfast-dinner cafe (morning coffee will be here, oh yeah) and wonder of wonders on the street where I live, a Fromager, or cheese shop! Whee!

And on the opposite corner, on busy, vibrant Rue Rambuteau just across from the Centre Georges Pompidou, a pharmacy for those necessary lost-my-toothbrush kind of purchases. I want to experience French toothpaste, deodorant and hair products. Having spiky hair, good product is important.

Marketing choices in flavor and fragrance have always been an interest. When I lived in England in the 1980’s, a popular fragrance for years was something I could only describe as “fuschia-pink gumdrop”. Another was “bamboo”. I’ve never smelt these fragrances in America. I also once had “Irn Bru” (a strong & dark Scottish soda) flavored toothpaste. Pass on that, if you’re ever offered. Trust me.

Finally, just across from Centre Georges Pompidou, is the Flunch cafe hooking up to L’Horloge a Automate and what we’ve christened the Fabulous (if dour) Flying Flunch-Mittie (for its resemblance to our Tosh-cat). I shall make a pilgrimage and leave a handful of catnip in homage. I may even lunch at Flunch. Maybe.

I just learned (all praise to Google) that Flunch is a self-serve cafeteria style chain and “If you need to use the toilet, take your receipt with you: It shows the lavatory entrance code, which you’ll need to unlock the door to the toilettes.” I’ll consider myself forewarned on that count.

That’s it from the French Front for now. Stay tuned for the next installment on my fantabulous apartment, ETHOS in Paris, and how YOU can join me on my travels, to Achieve The Impossible!

“Doggone our families! Why can’t they just ‘get’ us sometimes?”. Lia, who’s been mentoring with me for several years was quite cross over her sister’s unwillingness to use EFT to deal with her marital breakup. Lia had cured her sugar addiction in coaching with me using EFT and wanted badly to help her sister, Martha.

Martha felt EFT was “too weird” however, and wouldn’t discuss it further, telling Lia “that stuff’s okay for you but it’s just too way out there for me”. Lia was frustrated, sick with worry for her sister (which we tapped on) and didn’t know what to do next.

I can SO relate.

When I first started to share energy coaching with my non-energy-savvy family, they raised their eyebrows, laughed, politely patted my hand and said “it’s great you found a hobby, dear”.

Most of us have had friends or relatives roll their eyes at one another and been the odd duck out in more traditional circles when we try to share energy transformation modalities.

But there’s a great way you can get people into the joys of living a clearer, happier life through energy work. And that is….

Drop the jargon.

Don’t say one acronym – not ETHOS, not EFT, not BSFF or any of the hundred others you might know.

In fact, don’t talk about the tool at all.

Just casually talk to your friends or family members about how they feel. And as you’re speaking with them about what isn’t right in their life, as they are in the depths of the “Dang it, if only I’d have had the guts to….” or “It just KILLS me that I didn’t…” or “I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s driving me nuts!”

Ask: “How would you rather feel?”

This usually stops people in their tracks.

“Huh?” they’ll say “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what would you really want to feel like, if you could drop this feeling of (hurt, anger, betrayal, jealousy, guilt, shame etc.)?”

Then listen and be really open to what they are telling you without the NEED on your part to fix them, or what’s going on.

Your dropping the need you have to make it all better for other people is HUGE!

When I realized this, and simply listened without attachment to the other person’s outcome (and we’re talking about people I’d gladly give my life for, dear friends and family members), all of a sudden, THEY became more open to what I had to say about HOW to make their situation better.

Then, when they’ve told you how they’d rather feel, acknowledge what they’ve said and ask them:

“Would you like to get a little bit of the way to that place right now?”

If they say yes, then if you practice EFT for instance, get them to tap their HAND points as they tell you their story. Importantly, get them to rate their SUDS or intensity of feeling BEFORE you begin tapping.

And chances are, you’ll get them a good piece of the way down the road, not just a little bit, but it’s a good clean-energy practice to under-promise and over-deliver. That way, folks you’re working with get that extra bit that makes them feel like they got a bonus for free. And that’s something we all love. 

It’s important to start off with something they won’t immediately dismiss as weird looking or “too much to remember”. Using just the hand points addresses a large amount of the person’s intensity level without the overwhelm the whole EFT “recipe” can bring new tappers.

You tap, and tell them just to follow what you’re doing as they tell their story. By and by they’ll be on autopilot, tapping their finger points and karate chop point and telling their story.

As they tell their story, tail enders will come up, guide them to tap on these using just the hand points as well.

When they’ve been talking and tapping for about five minutes, ask them to rate their SUDS or intensity level again.

Most will find a few points shaved off, if not more. I’ve had family look at me with surprise on their faces and say bluntly “I thought all that stuff was just [*steer manure*], but I’ll be doggoned, this [*manure*] really works!”

Now, they enthusiastically tap with other family members who think they’re just as cuckoo as I am.

But they feel better about themselves and their lives. And I don’t care if they think I’m cuckoo, as long as we all feel the best we possibly can.

Because, and this is another important lesson, especially for newbies, the better we feel, the more better feeling experiences we attract.

And that’s a story for another day.

I hope this has been helpful. Let me know how you’re teaching your family to use the energy methods you know and love – you can put a post in the forums or in a blog on the ETHOS Community at:

http://ethosmethod.ning.com

Or feel free to leave a comment on this post below – use the handy-dandy tools in the orange bar at the bottom of the page to keep up the conversation!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you & a lovely rest of the week!

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

Do you know about Kwanzaa? It is celebrated to honor the first fruits of Harvest and happens this week, December 26th – January 1st as a festival of African-American culture, beauty and unity. I didn’t know about this beautiful festival until just a few years ago, though it was begun in America in 1966 by black studies professor, Maulana Karenga.

Below is a primer from BeliefNet.com to enjoy. There is a space between the early December holy days of Hanukkah and Solstice, this year on the 21st, then between Solstice and Christmas on the 25th and Christmas and New Year’s on January 1st. Kwanzaa wonderfully carries on the holy days festival calendar with its timeless Seven Principles.

This year, I am taking as a personal motto and charge:

Principle of Ujima: Collective Work and Responsibility

You might say 2010 is the Year of Ujima for all conscious people to rise and together, swing this world away from destruction the prophets of doom predict and slew our collective Bliss Compass around so the wind’s at our backs this time  ~ towards a kind land where Presence, equanimity and good faith exist among all.

For a start.

Check out what else Kwanzaa means and follow the links back to BeliefNet for more info:

HOW MUCH DID YOU LEARN? TAKE THE KWANZAA QUIZ TO FIND OUT.

“37 Days To Personal Grace”

One of the most frequent arguments I used to have with my partner revolved around being misinterpreted. They said I said something I know I didn’t say, but that’s the way they heard it. I said they said something they swear they never did, but that’s how I heard it. We interpreted each other, through the filters of our own experience, expectation and personal misery. And every time we did, we invited both ourselves and each other to slip deeper into slumber, away from consciousness.

Why?

Because to interpret is to leave room for error…which hooks human beings’ need to be right…which creates arguments…which are all about Not Being Awake. Which is in the opposite direction of your Bliss Compass pointer.

Here’s a great quote on this from psychotherapist Barry Stevens, with thanks to Tom for this reference. She famously quipped:

I don’t like to be interpreted.

a) If I respect the interpreter, I am apt to think that he must be right and he may actually be wrong.

b) He may be right at one level. I may agree with him. This cuts me off from the deeper level where the interpretation is not true.

c) If  he is right and I am not willing to admit it, I become rigid in excluding his interpretation.

Rigidity is death; flexibility is life.

I don’t like to interpret.

a) I interpret you according to me, or according to some scheme.

b) Repeatedly, when I notice my interpretation, withhold it, “you” prove me wrong by what comes from you, and I’m so very glad I didn’t point you in the wrong direction.

Sometimes “you” arrive at something that meets my interpretation (I don’t know if you do this by following the same scheme) – and move on, and get at something deeper.

I am with Fritz on: “Even if I am right, I rob you of discovering it yourself.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Amen on that last line, yes indeed. The Fritz referred to is the founder of Gestalt Psychotherapy, Fritz Perls, with whom Stevens worked.

What is that furrow
on your brow,
a sigh of sorrow
imprinted on the skin?
What clings sullen
to the bone,
contracting your heart?

What do you fear,
have horror of,
long to forget,
despise and loathe
so much

that it leaves its
convoluted intent
on the roadmap
of your face?

And more importantly,
what do you REALLY desire?

Think on that and know:

That nothing is truly wrong.

Nothing is truly required of you,

but to live and be happy.

What is meant for you can never truly be lost,
because nothing can actually be lost.

Lost is a point of view,
a Limiting Belief.

Though forms may change,
everything always exists
for energy cannot be destroyed.

What is meant for you is still right in front of you.

Have you the eyes to see it?

Have you the ears to hear its message?

Have you the heart to feel its

fresh,

pure,

delicious energy…

pulling you forward?

If not…

Step aside,

into the Real You…

and continue the journey.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* Travelogue: Been fueled on inspiration from the stunning Oregonian waterfalls this week on our tour of the Pacific Northwest. I snapped the above picture at Multnomah Falls prior to a hike where we got ecstatically drenched. The words rolled out during an intro on ETHOS that I taught in a community center shortly after that.  “Stepping aside” is ETHOS speak for stepping back inside our Unlimited Self – that energetic template of the ‘perfect you’ that we all started out in life, and that is still available to us. The ETHOS Method is a free, worldwide healing and consciousness tool that I created, and you can learn more about here.