Everyday Bliss For Busy People

(scroll down for the apocryphal picture of me at close to max weight…and today’s version…)

I am fortunate enough to have a very good friend in social media expert Andy Wibbels (@andymatic on Twitter). We’ve masterminded and built our businesses side by side for years and he has been such a help and such a darling friend to me. Color me very grateful for this high class, high value friendship.

We met when Andy still lived in Chicago. When he and Ron and kitties Astroboy & Downy moved out here in 2008, Andy stayed with us while interviewing at SixApart, where he worked until recently on their TypePad, Vox and other products. Now he’s graduating to the bigtime and toddling off to North Carolina to work for sales shark Jeffrey Gitomer. I’m so proud of Andy I could bust. Love him like a sister. k

We’re getting in a lot of celebrating, dinners and theater, ballet and shows before they leave. Tonight we went to Swan Lake, which was great, though missing the iconic dying swan scene at the end. In Helgi Tomasson’s production of the San Francisco Ballet, Odette simply jumps off a cliff – offstage.

WHERE WAS MY DYING SWAN SCENE?! I waited the whole doggone ballet to see it. Ron was similarly taken aback. You just don’t cut the dying swan. It isn’t done.

At any rate, for afters we went back to the boys’ apartment and shot the breeze as long as eyes stayed open. Followed by a picture taking session (which followed the food pics at Santorini earlier in the evening). The below right picture is tonight’s. The one on the left is of me two years ago almost to the day. That chin is pretty much a straight line from under-lip to collarbone, and was a triple roll at my high weight.

BTW, I got that wrong in the caption below. (hey, it was late at night)  I went back to my records and found I weighed more like 265 in the lefthand picture, not 280. But once I got that large, I stopped counting as many do, so the lapse is understandable. 

All the cutting & sculpting done on this body happened pretty much in eight months. Close to 70 pounds, 5 dress sizes, 1 shoe size, 3 bra sizes and 2 chins down, plus over 6″ off my abdomen so far.

I didn’t effort, I just had fun.

I didn’t restrict my eating, I had what my body wanted. How I did it will be the stuff of a future workshop. Something to look forward to! For now though, photos unretouched, just captioned…

Do you know about Kwanzaa? It is celebrated to honor the first fruits of Harvest and happens this week, December 26th – January 1st as a festival of African-American culture, beauty and unity. I didn’t know about this beautiful festival until just a few years ago, though it was begun in America in 1966 by black studies professor, Maulana Karenga.

Below is a primer from BeliefNet.com to enjoy. There is a space between the early December holy days of Hanukkah and Solstice, this year on the 21st, then between Solstice and Christmas on the 25th and Christmas and New Year’s on January 1st. Kwanzaa wonderfully carries on the holy days festival calendar with its timeless Seven Principles.

This year, I am taking as a personal motto and charge:

Principle of Ujima: Collective Work and Responsibility

You might say 2010 is the Year of Ujima for all conscious people to rise and together, swing this world away from destruction the prophets of doom predict and slew our collective Bliss Compass around so the wind’s at our backs this time  ~ towards a kind land where Presence, equanimity and good faith exist among all.

For a start.

Check out what else Kwanzaa means and follow the links back to BeliefNet for more info:

HOW MUCH DID YOU LEARN? TAKE THE KWANZAA QUIZ TO FIND OUT.

This is sand animation, which I’ve never seen before and has to be seen to be believed. It’s a whole entire opera and well worth the entire viewing. This is what happens when passion and purpose come together with resources and the right timing. Simply amazing.  Enjoy!

Breast cancer survivor Kris Hart, right, vice president of global brand management at (casino operator) Harrah’s Entertainment, was still breastfeeding when she found out she had breast cancer. In this month’s Pink Magazine email, Taylor Mallory interviews Kris. Here are a couple of relevant highlights:

Hart’s Advice for Breast Cancer Newbies

1. DO take a breath and come up with a plan. The cancer has probably been in you for years, so you can wait a week.

2. DON’T make emotional decisions about your care. Get all the info you can before you make a decision.

3. DO surround yourself with people who don’t make you feel like a victim.

4. DON’T be afraid to ask for support. Your friends and family want to help.

Hart also adds her greatest challenge dealing with chemo:

"I have always had an innate sense of organization in my head. Since the chemo, and even now as it’s still in my system, I’m fuzzy. I can’t retain things, and I’m not as quick as I used to be. I can’t remember names as readily as I could. That’s really frustrating."

Maryam’s Note: Kris Hart, if you’re out there reading this, please check out the energy therapies (no drugs, no needles, no hassle, easy to learn and practice) like ETHOS, EFT and ZPoint to help "get your brain back". This involves the energy in your body, not in a box or machine. You’re using the natural energy an acupuncturist manipulates by putting needles in the body, only with the new energy therapies, you only tap on the acupoints, hold them gently and breathe, or use the energy solely in your mind. No gadgets or drugs needed!

Anyone dealing with fuzziness like this can regains clarity by practicing a couple of simple exercises to synch the hemispheres of your brain back up. Go to my page on that here:

http://maryamwebster.com/stressrelief

Do every exercise on the page, especially the Cross Crawl. This highlights part of the Bliss Coaching Process that is laid out in full in my book, Everyday Bliss For Busy Women.

PINK asks: How can colleagues help when a co-worker has cancer?

Kris Hart: "Be specific about how you want to help. Everyone says, "I’m here for you." But very few people will ever take you up on that. So say, "I’d like to bring dinner for you on Wednesday." Also recognize it’s not only the physical victim but the whole family that needs support. Someone called my husband to go have drinks. He was thrilled to get away too."

Maryam’s Note: I’ll second the "be specific" part. When Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the 90’s she deteriorated rapidly, and the community troups were marshalled to provide friendly visits for she and Dad. The best visit they had was after dinner one Tuesday evening from Bill Hall, a buddy of Dad’s from Rotary Club. Though Bill offered, Mom refused to let him go into the kitchen and get her usual offering of lemonade and cookies – it was important for HER to "do for" visitors as long as she was able.

Bill visited with the family for awhile, drank his lemonade and nibbled his cookies, chatting easily on a variety of topics. The ease with which he carried on conversation soon put Mom and Dad at ease. They reported during this time feeling pressed to entertain people and alleviate their discomfort with Mom’s cancering*, which only caused them to feel more stressed and tense after friendly visits than not. Bill’s visit was a welcome exception, doubly so because of what he did next.

After a polite amount of time had passed, Bill said to Dad: "Charlie, get your coat. You’re coming out bowling with me and the boys, and I won’t take no for an answer." Dad didn’t bowl, but he was too much of a gentleman to refuse such a public invitation. He went, had an excellent time, and Bill managed to wheedle him into coming to the "boys night out" from then on. It got him out of the house, Mom had a peaceful evening once a week to do as she liked, and Dad had a place to blow off steam and "be a regular fellow" as he put it. That’s important, and it was the best present a friend could have given him at this sensitive and crucial point in his life.

It doesn’t have to be a whole-hog fancy evening, any level of attention and caring is good. Just be there.

You can find out more and subscribe to Pink Magazine for Women Professionals here: http://www.pinkmagazine.com/index.html

Pink is about women having money and worldly power too – what activist and author Naomi Wolf calls "the last taboo". Canted towards C-level professional and executive women, Pink provides gathering opportunities at locations around America to help women network and excel in business.

* Cancering - Using the word "Cancering" creates a gerund, or non-finite verb form out of the noun, cancer. When you add the "-ing" to a word that is so definite, so negatively final, it transforms the disease into a process which can have a positive end – the disease process ends, but you go on. This is a form that I take from the teachings of Master NLP Health Coach, Suzi Smith, who reports that this simple linguistic change brings empowerment back into the equation for those living with this disease process.

The phenomenal Lisa Wilder has brought to our attention the American Lung Association’s 52 Proven Stress relievers.  (Pollyanna Power, girl) Chief among them was: Don’t do anything now you’d have to lie about later. It really took me aback to realize that this is not right now a foregone conclusion for us as a species.

What a gritty way to say…

live from your center

from the blessed bowl of your belly

sup wisdom…

and give to get

All affect each other,

none is seperate

Please get it.

Thank you.

To quote Reverend Dr. King, whose memorial day we recently celebrated, "I have a Dream."  I personally have a dream that all beings will experience simultaneous enlightenment, release of pain and attachment to illusion. And that we’ll all realize we’ve already won the lottery and already live in paradise, each and every day. It’s both a past fact and foregone conclusion.

Doubt that this means you? Then listen to your Bliss Compass: the winged messenger of your Breath, and the measured thrumming of your heart.

Forwarded from powerful beauty, and ace girlfriend, Jasmine White (right) is this "friendly chain mail".  Send it to all the Beautiful Women in your life!  

Did you know that it’s Beautiful Women Month? Well it is, and that means you! I’m supposed to send this to FIVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and if you’re a woman reading this, YOU are one of them!!!  

Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote  when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later:

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness…

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. (or your mother, sibling or lover  ~ Maryam)

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone…

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;

Never throw out anyone.

Remember,
if you ever need a helping hand,
you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.

If you share this with another woman,
something good will happen.
You will boost another woman’s self esteem,
and she will know that you care about her.

It’s
BEAUTIFUL Women Month
TAG
YOU’RE IT!