The Power Of Flexibility
One of my students was having difficulty understanding the NLP and Energy Coaching presupposition: "The Element that is the most flexible is the element in control". This is my answer to her and to all of you who wonder about how to BE flexible and furthermore, why…
Think of the comparison between a willow tree and an iron bar. The iron bar is strong, by comparison the willow branch is much less so. If you pick a willow switch and hit someone with it it stings. (how many of you were "switched" as kids? once my gradeschool principle made use of a willow switch on my rear - but ONLY once!) A willow switch may even raise a welt. If you hit the same person with an iron bar, you will do greater damage, probably breaking their bones.
When you bend a willow switch, it will bend very far, but easily breaks. It’s nearly impossible to bend an iron bar with your bare hands. You can do it with specialist tools, but if you’re not careful, you can break it too.
Now lets extend that analogy even further. A tall building is built of iron bars. Much is made of the strength and durability of this building. It’s job is to stand up and put up with the abuses humans can wreak on a structure. It does this job admirably for many years. But when a strong tornado or earthquake comes along, the building topples to the ground, its iron bars broken into shards. It did not control its destiny because it was not flexible enough.
But the willow tree, with its roots deep into the earth, bends, sways, is tormented by a storm’s pummelling, but survives, relatively unscathed.
You see in this example that the iron was brittle, and didn’t have flexibility. The willow tree bent with the forces trying to shift it and remained relatively unharmed. The willow tree had the most flexibility in this instance, and in essence, controlled what happened to it. The building had limited flexibility and was easily toppled.
There are many examples of this in martial arts. Consider the Aikido Master. If you try harm someone, and that person doesn’t have martial arts training, it is likely you could use their arm as a lever to pull them into your space and do as you wish with them. An Aikido or any other martial arts Master will bend like the willow with, not against the force being exerted against the arm, allow themselves to come into the other person’s space, find the fulcrum point of the outward flow of their energy and turn that force against the attacker, while freeing their arm. The Master is in control, because s/he is the most flexible in this situation - not only in body, but in accumulation of learning and experience.
The lesser trained or experienced person on the other hand, lacks the flexibility of the Master and controls less of their destiny in a contentious situation.
It doesn’t matter to the willow tree which way the wind blows it. It is happy to be blown to the right as well as to the left. Similarly, the person in a relationship who has decided that their life is going to be a happy one, no matter what, is just as okay with their spouse making a key decision or they themselves making that decision They will be happy no matter what decision is made, and have doubtless formed many ways of dealing with stress that makes them more impervious to its effects.
Such a person is more flexible and easily controls the way they feel day to day, than one who stubbornly holds out for Choice A or B and who feels miserable if their choice is not adopted.
I hope this helps, in a roundabout way to aid your understanding of "The Element that is the most flexible is the element in control"
Sometimes the control in question is over only oneself, at other times it may be over a large and complex situation, relationship or event. Retaining and teaching our clients flexibility is one of the largest pieces of good we can do them and ourselves both.
In this instance, Meditation, Yoga (I favor Yin Yoga practice instead of a stronger form for those just learning the Art Of Flexibility, or in addition to a yang style such as Hatha, Bikram or Ashtanga, to help balance the body), Tai Chi, Aikido, Chi Gung or any other martial or meditational art where practice also includes mental calming and stilling exercises, is in my experience, the best way to accomplish such flexibility…to keep the body and mind flexible, limber and serene. 
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