I’m visiting Dallas and hubby Jason, who has been on the road with work for weeks upgrading servers at exotic foreign outposts. I have kindly been gifted both ticket and hotel accomodations courtesy of his company as it’s hard to be away from your sweetie this close to Valentine’s Day. (isn’t it just!) Anyway, if you wanted to see what our Certified Energy Coach Program’s on-the-road "corporate headquarters" looks like, you’ve only to gaze at the moblogged pic here. It took a laptop, two telephones, a hotel ethernet/modem converter, my trusty Olympus digital recorder (we record all classes for student reference) and its associated Radio Shack record-from-phone dongle, but we got the thing done in the end. And what with me calling into the bridgeline from my cellphone, that’s three phones in all. Amazing what technology can do!
The CEC Program Manual PDF is visible on laptop screen with the section about the magic of Beliefs, which I was reviewing after class had ended. Speaking of which, we have a magical group of Energy Coaches in the Program plus are fortunate enough to have several of our grads returning for a refresher. What a wonderful mix - it’s such a pleasure to be able to be with these wonderful people. I feel greatly blessed in my chosen profession to work with some of the sharpest, most compassionate and intelligent coaches and healers in the land. Each day brings wonderful new suprises from each person and in my own practice as well. Can’t say better than this, it’s a wonderful life!
Of Dallas I have seen little as yet. The Beltway, the Galleria for dinner and the Concierge Lounge in the hotel for brunch. We intend to go museum hopping tomorrow and Friday, perchance to ride an antique train. But not today. It was a joy just to relax in the room until Jason came back from a day of fixing server bumbles. And so nice not to have anything to do for a change. Having said that, I surveyed the mess of our room after flinging bags and clothing hither and yon, and not being able to help myself, flew around cleaning it up for a pleasant hour or so.
I actually typed "pleasant". I’m turning into a regular hausfrau. Every time I exit our on-the-market house, I have felt I must clean it down to the last little bit of ‘Noushka fluff and leave it spotless as a museum. A girlfriend who is selling up herself reflected that it took a lot of energy just to live in such spotless splendour. She’s right. I don’t know how my mother, bless her, managed for so long. I can remember her complaining about the (invisible to my teenage eyes) mess in every room, and dusting with a ferocity rivalled only by her zeal at beating the living daylights out of our few scatter rugs and carpets. Now I fret over the anguish of an abandoned sock, veggie peelings casually littering the sink, the kitties flagrant indiscretions with their bits of fur, discarded whiskers and occasional claw casings.
"And ‘oo’s left to clean it up? Me, THAT’S ‘oo!" to mangle a quote of Hermione Baddeley’s in Mary Poppins. Me indeed. Cleaning is good for the soul as my mother used to say, but too much clean is just as bad for it. While I love sitting in a freshly cleansed living room and thrill to the sight of spotless Corian, I ache just to put things down as I wish and not take them up again until I need to. Family photos too have been banned, and I miss those dear, familiar faces peering out of their dated frames. I long for some of my own artwork on the walls instead of the bland, banality of "decorator" designs. Too soon this will all change though.
The one thing that can be counted on is change. I was reminded of this at the recent MSOCI conference by one of the speakers who noted that from time immemorial the sages of our world have spoken of the immutability of change. As I packed my office to go on the road, I marvelled at the ability to do a thing that twenty years ago, would have kept me chained to a desk and not allowed me to work so wonderfully free from constraint. That I was able to book a ticket and fly here in but a few hours to stay a few days was something we just wouldn’t have done a quarter century ago. That one can take what in 1980 was an entire roomfull of machines, squash them into a box the size of a highschool yearbook and furthermore, connect to the entire rest of the world via the Internet is nothing short of astounding. But only one thing could bring us to this place - Change.
In fretting over the dropping of a sock or random scut of cat fur, I realized I was desperately desirous of casting a spell to freeze time and not allowing Change to occur. Or rather, not allowing myself to flow with the Change that with or without me, is going to occur anyway. A lot of energy was trapped there, frantic, nervous energy such as I witnessed in my mother when her precious homegrounds were besmirched. I decided that I could let this go.
In the night before I left for Dallas, Anoushka blanketed the carpet in the living room with half the fur on her little body, and managed this without even breaking a sweat. Toshkit industriously pulled a claw casing off of each and every claw, and strewed them around the coffee table. The bathroom floor was grubby from kitties playing on wet tiles with dirty paws fresh from the garden. Crumbs littered the wood floor around the kitchen carpet. These were also all nearly invisible to the untrained eye…but *I* saw them and was on the verge of freaking out, when I decided to say "the heck with this noise!" And with seven house showings by various agents plus two open houses scheduled, I kissed the kitties goodbye (leaving them in the competent hands of Uncle Max) picked up my bag and headed out into the pre-dawn fog and my waiting taxi. It felt very, very good.
How do you seek to block or avoid Change in your life? How much energy do you have tied up in resisting Change? What would happen if you surrendered to the inevitability of Change? Would you be willing to? And when?
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