Everyday Bliss For Women In Leadership

Okay, so the Autumnal Equinox was a week ago, but you can still have yourself a merry litle spa break at this time of the year when the energies are changing like mad, crazy swirls of leaves caught up in a merry dance with the North Wind. Blow some clean air through your hair - open all the windows even if it’s cold  and let your home and office air out completely from morning to night. And…

Try this five minute complete System Recharge to jump up your energy a bit at a time when the earth’s energies are winding down, going deeper, pulsing slower. This practice, which invokes the basic elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water, purifies the subtle energy system and invigorates all of your sensate organs. Spend but a minute or two on each of the four areas:

Earth: Facing North, look down at the ground and feel gravity, pulling your body downward. Palms facing the ground, breathe both in and out through your nose while feeling the soles of your feet as they touch the earth. Breathe in through your soles of your feet and the palms of your hands.

Water: Turning to face the West, lean your neck backward looking upward and allow your lips to part. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Imagine that you are standing in a shallow mountain stream with water raining down upon you. Water rolls off of your body, drips down into the stream and flows away, taking all that doesn’t belong in or on you, with it.

Fire: Facing South, stand erect with your elbows bent and hands raised to shoulder level, facing the front of your body. Breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. As you breathe in, feel the breath stoking your internal fire or "dan tien" in your solar plexus. As you breathe out imagine you are sending the light of that fire outward, into a protective and energizing sphere which surrounds you.

Air: Facing East, allow your entire body to relax and soften. Feel yourself becoming less solid and more permeable. Your arms hang loosely with the palms facing to the front of you. As you breathe in and out through your mouth, feel the air flowing into and out of your body through the very pores in your skin.

Old circle-junkies among the reading audience might notice this goes in a counter-clockwise (or counter-sunwise if you will) circle. Yes. At this time of the year, the energies of the natural environment that surround us are moving more in these counter-sunwise spirals as the light of the sun itself grows less intense and weaker. This is one way to make a counter-sunwise spiral work for you, to energize and purify. Enjoy!

Again scientific confirmation comes for a syndrome most have long known exists - stress at work = anxiety and depression. Family troubles. Failures in business. And there doesn’t seem to be much difference in occupation studied from this quote:

"The most toxic factor here is high psychological demands. That can be present in multiple professions: the media are always working under time pressure;  doctors, firemen, nurses, builders, plumbers - it applies across the board."

From New Zealand, generational research proves the  link between high stress on any job and the mental illnesses of anxiety and depression. Other studies have linked such stress to chronic pain perception as well. Keeping in a stressful situation does more damage than you may have thought. Just look:

Jeepers. But then, we already knew this…didn’t we?  Click to read the whole article here  and click to get relief here

Thanks to Krishna who tipped me off about putting this at my blog. You can read her sage suggestions here on how to use this research to market your self growth business!

Haven’t we been telling them this all these years? Well just recently, the docs and scientists finally wised up in this article from CNN:

You know you’ll get killer cramps or that nasty headache any minute now, but nothing you take seems to help once the pain hits.

You’re not alone: Many women have a tough time finding the right kind of relief for their pain –and for good reason: Until recently, experts hadn’t actually studied women’s pain specifically, and most research wasn’t conducted with a woman’s hormones and physique in mind. All that’s changing, though.

Docs now know that to banish our aches, they must develop treatments formulated for women’s bodies. What’s more, researchers are also looking for — and finding — ways to head pain off at the pass, so those of us with chronic troubles such as migraine, fibromyalgia, or backache don’t have to be hobbled by pain on a daily basis. Here, the new research will help you live an (almost) pain-free life.

Maryam’s take: If you’d have asked us, we could have told you - right ladies? So you can use epidural blocks and the like suggested in this article, or you could simply do what I did when faced with pain so gaspingly disabling from a broken back I could literally not get out of bed: Energy therapies.

Whether you turn on Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) or the point-free ZPoint Process (a little ZPoint humor there - wink), they all work well for pain and symptom relief once you understand how  to work them, and without the side effects of Oxy-Contin or other commonly prescribed "killer" pain  relievers.

The article goes on:  What should have been a relatively simple injury became an odyssey that had Weiner visiting specialists all over San Francisco. She finally found a podiatrist who "took a detective-like approach to the problem," Weiner says, by exploring and treating each joint and tendon in a methodical search for the pain’s source. Thanks to this care, which includes regular pain-preventing cortisone shots, the 55-year-old mother of one has been able to resume her hobby of salsa dancing.

Very important in your care to find someone who (1) Believes in you  and (2) Is willing to take the time to be a detective and find out what’s really wrong, instead of shopping you every pain pill in creation without doing the sleuthing first. And, to be a sleuth in your own body, for what bugs you, what is good for you and what you notice that’s different.

In the middle of pain and physical drama? Notice what’s happening from a deep place inside the felt-sense of your body. Take notes and start a journal of your symptoms, precipitating foods, events and people. Be a body detective…

To be continued…

It’s rare anymore, but I sometimes get potential clients who wonder why I refer them to other coaches when they say “But it’s YOU I really want to work with!”. Sometimes I feel I’m simply not the best coach for them and that what they really need is to be found with another coach I can refer them to. Sometimes people want coaching, but they really aren’t ready for the kind of intensity such a relationship can generate, or are a wee bit too comfortable in their rut to really work at change. Sometimes a different level of expertise or specialty is called for. And then, there are those who are simply “coachability impaired”.

To correct what may be a widespread assumption, coaches are not obliged to help all and sundry. Though many varieties of coaching exist for the wide variety of clients that exist, coaching by its very nature is a profession that demands one’s highest and best performance. To assure that, coaches are choosy and only work with clients that fit our particular skillsets and energetic bandwidth - just like other service providers. You don’t see a lawyer for a heart transplant. Likewise, a C-level executive seeking snappy, fast-paced high performance coaching wouldn’t employ a creativity, academic or ADD coach. For different needs there are different talents and specialties in the coaching world. That extends also to the personality of client being coached, in what we refer to as “coachability”.

To protect our energies and precious time from being wasted, we all have our red velvet ropes and sets of immutable parameters past which folks who aren’t at a certain level, are not permitted. To attempt to coach people who are resistant to change, aren’t ready for a coaching partnership or are not willing to expand their horizons would be an exercise in frustration and futility for both coach and client. Most experienced coaches can size potential clients like this up in a few heartbeats. It only takes a few to drain you dry before you develop such instincts. And in a nod to Bea, it’s not arrogance or snobbery, but self-preservation and conservation of resources at the heart of the golden restraining posts holding up that red velvet rope.

Thanks and a tippo of the “you said it” hat goes to Seth Godin for his Distinctionary entry below, on “What Coachable Means in Real Life”. You go, my brother.

Coachable

A friend is wrestling with his ability to be coached. For the coachable, “Turn right at the light” is seen as a helpful suggestion for someone lost in a strange town… the advice goes in, is considered and then acted upon. For someone wrestling with coaching, though, it’s like surgery. It’s painful, it has side effects and it might lead to a bad reaction.

Coaching happens all the time. Most often, it’s not from a boss or a professional coach. In fact, the best insights and advice usually come from informal or unexpected sources.

In fluid marketing and organization environments, where the world changes rapidly, coachability is a key factor in evolving and succeeding. Not because all advice is good advice. In fact, most advice is lousy advice. No, the reason coachability is so crucial is that without it, you don’t have the emotional maturity to consider whether the advice is good or not. You reject the process out of hand, and end up stuck.

Symptoms of uncoachability:

* Challenging the credentials of the coach
* Announcing that you’re being unfairly singled out
* Pointing out, angrily, that the last few times, the coach was wrong
* Identifying others who have succeeded without ever being coached
* Resisting a path merely because it was one identified by a coach

Years ago, at the great Bolshoi Ballet, auditions for the troupe were conducted among 8 year old girls. That’s because it took ten years to become great. How did the auditions work? The teachers weren’t looking for the best dancers. They were looking for the dancers who took coaching the best. The rest would come with time.

See the original at Seth Godin’s Blog, and Bea’s post on “Topgrading”.

If you’re reading this blog, then you’re undoubtedly dedicated to the experience of Everyday Bliss. So I KNOW you’ll want to participate in the FREE Teleclass I’m doing TODAY with Ellen Britt, for her Everyday Qi program.

I’ll be sharing the first FIVE Keys to Everyday Bliss from my upcoming Everyday Bliss For Busy Women book, a technique you can use to rev up your energy (even when you are tired, ill or have had a horrible day) and how to use the energy of intention to transform your  limitations into a precious treasure.

Interested? Calendar open at 5pm Pacific / 8pm Eastern TODAY, Wednesday 5/23?

Great!  Sign up here:

http://www.everydayqi.com/signup4webster.html

There are MASSES of goodies included of course,  and you’ll also get to hear LOTS of other fantastic speakers on energy techniques and other health and wellness promotion info that you can really use.

See you there!

Warmly,
Maryam

This is THE Blog for you if you’re a Woman who desires to live a life of  Everyday Bliss. Though that necessarily requires a bit of work on yourself, Bliss also BEGINS with accepting you for WHO YOU ARE.  Your thighs are thin enough. Trust me, my thighs are bigger than yours and it doesn’t keep me up nights. Bliss is knowing that things are okay as they are, you’re just fine, you are living a Guided life, and what needs to change will take care of itself.

TODAY my friend the renowned "Comfort Queen", Jennifer Louden, has declared an international holiday:

May 15, 2007:  Freedom From Self Improvement Day

Self-improvement is a one-way ticket to misery, Jen says. She endorses a path to happiness and fulfillment that starts with acceptance of who and where you are.

As a certified Bliss Booster, I couldn’t agree more.

As we give gratitude for what is good and wonderful in our lives, we need to start with ourselves - WHOMever you are, WHEREever you are and WHATever is going on in your life….is all just fine. 

“Beating ourselves up because our thighs aren’t thin enough, or because we still haven’t perfected the art of ‘positive thinking’ hasn’t made us happier or the world a better place,” says Jen, whose books include The Woman’s Comfort Book and her recently released The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year.

“Inner peace through endless self-improvement only serves to make us endlessly dissatisfied and disappointed. The biggest paradox in trying to change ourselves is that nothing happens until we embrace who and how we are right now, imperfections, perceived flaws and all.” she says.

I’ll add that it is only then that you can go forward out of what isn’t what you want and engage the Law of Attraction to get what you want. That Gratitude for What Is, is absolutely essential. And it needs to be legitimate gratitude, not merely mouthed insincerely.

My recommendation, if you’re not to the happy place with where you are yet, is to start with the EFT Personal Peace Procedure. Being at peace with yourself is key to Everyday Bliss.

The day will include a number of resources to encourage self-acceptance, ban self-improvement, and have fun while doing it, including a “Declaration of Independence from Self-Improvement,” audio downloads contributed by a host of best-selling authors and spiritual teachers, and suggested activities for celebrating our beautiful, imperfect selves.

To get a comprehensive run-down on what Jen is offering, check her blog out at:

http://freedomfromselfimprovement.com

And drop the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s, don’ts and must-do’s that litter your life and poison personal peace.

Be Kind to You.

Be gentle and compassionate with your dear, precious self. 

To quote Jen: "True change is a result of self-love, not self-hatred.”  You said it, girlfriend.

The below is a bit technical but for Kamala AND Marion, who asked. This reply in particular was to Marion, on the NCC list:

…I deal with fear-bashing on a daily basis and it’s one of the first things I teach the energy coaches I train. First of all one of the presuppositions that we work by which comes from neurolinguistic programming:

"There is no Failure - Only Feedback"

Once a person really gets this, the shame, guilt and upset that accompanies such fear is taken down significantly. When they try at a task and perceive that they "fail" again and again, they are in reality researchers in their own lives, gathering data. They have reached several plateaus in their data gathering that tell them that this is another way not to accomplish the task they are addressing. This is wonderful, for they are weeding down the thousands of possible choices to the ones that really matter, that will get them "there" - wherever that is.

Here is the process we use to deal with Fear of any kind, in The Everyday Bliss Process and Energy Coaching in general:

First I do reality checking. Is this a realistic fear? If not, we present a reframing primarily and may or may not go further. Often this is all that is required, but if not we will go on to do a belief change process and sometimes a recoding of the base formative decision with the client’s choice of energy change modalities. ZPoint Process is my current favorite, though TAT and EFT are also excellent for this purpose.

We also want to know in the case of a major personality base-matrix decision, if this is a present fear, or something that has been sown in childhood as most root fears are. When we have a fear of basic core states like success and failure, they are without exception, no matter how recent a trigger experience might have been, rooted deep in childhood - one’s first experiences with authority. While it is immaterial with some of the more advanced of the energy change modalities to know exactly when and what happened, clients will often have a sense of this.

Whether they remember a pivotal moment or not, we:

1) Reframe at all levels, but particularly the kinesthetic (how this feeling of fear sits in their body or mind) using a variety of techniques

2) Recode the decision made as a result of the initiating experience (the "I’m afraid to fail (because when I do I am beaten or yelled at)" or "I will NEVER be successful (because all successful people are jerks and I hate jerks)…and in fact, I’m afraid of success")

3) Do a conflict integration in the case of a double-bind which is nearly always present in Fear based beliefs, and finally

4) Instill a new decision about the childhood experience, plus a choice the client makes about how they would rather view the thing once feared.

Here’s an example: A father hits his child when the child fails tests at school, yelling at him and calling him stupid. The child over time concludes that they are stupid and that they are incapable of success, because the authority figures they trust, the father and perhaps a teacher or two tells them so. Perhaps not directly, but children are masters of reading implication.

Decisions Made as a result of this: "I am stupid"  + "I cannot be successful" and there’s a hidden one there too: "When I fail, I experience pain" and the real whammy: "I’m frightened to fail, yet I can never succeed"

This is a classic double-bind and sets the child up for a lifetime of failure, pain, and self-destruction. While these ‘failures’ may be only minor, they are experienced as shattering.

Such an individual as an adult might choose the new decision of "Father didn’t know what he was talking about, he was speaking from his own pain and had no idea about my capabilities. Therefore, I cannot trust or believe what he told me then."  and the Choice of "I am infinitely capable and have proven it many times. I have a college degree - stupid people don’t get degrees, only smart people do. Therefore I know that I am smart enough and I choose to feel okay about who I am. I enjoy succeeding, and know that I have all it takes to be successful. I’ve proven this many times in my life…."

The client will ideally go on to fill in the blanks of a good handful of the times they have successfully accomplished a task. Any task is relevant, no matter how small.

The point is to provide as many counter-examples to the perceived sense of failure as possible.

Much of this is derived from neurolinguistic programming, though accomplished in Energy Coaching through the sophisticated use of the simple-to-practice energy changework techniques EFT, ZPoint and TAT.

I hope this wasn’t too academic and can be helpful to coaches and therapists alike out there - you can do much of this in a talking mode with a client using appreciative inquiry as well. Enjoy!

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

If you are as troubled as I am about the Virgina Tech massacre, you might be feeling a little helpless and frustrated right now. I know I sure was once the bulletins stopped flying and the shock wore off a bit. It was a little like 9/11 all over again.

I’m a person that feels very deeply. And as I watched the news, a feeling of panic rose…my breathing got real shallow….tears welled up and hovered in my eyes as I watched the tragedy unfold.

I thought how senseless and what a cruel shame it was that those young people’s lives were cut short, and how horrible for the survivors desperate for answers that the police were saying we’d probably never know why.

And then….I remembered I could breathe, and I remembered that I had the choice to say my cue word, or tap or hold the TAT pose. I did all three. Plus about ten minutes of the three different kinds of cross-crawls.

Tragedies like this snarl both our emotions and our energy fields….

Self-care is really important during a time like this. So if you’re affected, or if you were actually involved, then go here right now and learn how to take care of yourself:

http://quantumflow.com/stressrelief.html

I also want to remind everyone that just as we have the ability to tap, pose and cue for ourselves, we can also lend selfless service to those who are still suffering.

While this may seem initially unhelpful to hear…

And while *of course* we all need a decent period to grieve our losses…

Let’s also remind ourselves that *undue* suffering is, truly, optional. And, that we who have taken the pledge to help others….can help ourselves best at times like this…by doing both our own work AND surrogate energy therapy for those who don’t yet know that they need not suffer.

So join all of the people in the Energy Field who are massing together to help alleviate this and other suffering, doing whatever you know best. For the power of Prayer has been proven by university study, and the power of our own Intention is great and well documented. And we know that there is no real distance between us, for we are all one in the Zero Point Field. (if you don’t yet know what this is all about, then by all means read Lynne McTaggart’s book ‘The Field: Search For The Mysterious Force of the Universe)

To quote my good friend Kim George:

‘Do What You Can Do and Know that What is Meant for You, Can Never Be Lost’

(From: http://coachingintogreatness.com)

Until next time, my warmest blessings,
Maryam

Could it be because I eat a lot of garlic?? We put it in our food, add it to our fresh veggie juices, make an and have it in teas when we do get ill…which isn’t often. Came across a great article from Ashland, Oregon herbalist, Julie Avena on this. If you’ve got a cough, flu or other inflammatory problem, listen up! This is great stuff:

Daily use of garlic has been known to prevent heart disease, balance blood pressure, lower cholesterol, and increase overall immunity. Eating raw or lightly cooked garlic is the best way to benefit from its healing virtues. Lightly cooking chopped garlic in olive oil helps to infuse the medicinal constituents into your meals. It is best to let the chopped garlic sit for ten minutes, adding it at the very end of the cooking process to preserve more allicin, the beneficial compound responsible for fighting disease. It is questionable whether encapsulated powdered garlic has any medicinal benefit at all.

When addressing an acute condition, only raw garlic will fight infections. Try it chopped and mixed in honey, juiced with vegetables (start with ¼ tsp garlic juice per 16 ounces of juice, up to 1 tsp garlic juice, every hour), sprinkled over soup or salad. Keep in mind that too much raw garlic can cause nausea, vomiting and irritation to the intestinal tract, so start with small doses. One should avoid taking raw garlic on an empty stomach.

Different solvents extract different constituents of garlic. Boulder herbal guru, Paul Bergner, shares this “Connoisseur’s Garlic Cocktail” in his book, The Healing Power of Echinacea and Goldenseal and Other Immune System Herbs: Blend together 3 cloves garlic with 1 tsp each red wine, vinegar and olive oil, add ¼ cup hot water and let sit 6 hours. Without straining, add 1/3 of the mix to a cup of hot water and drink up, repeating every 3-6 hours.

This sounds like a recipe for salad dressing, but this stuff really works. If you are still freaked out about the possibility of a bird flu pandemic, may I suggest a simple act to ease your conscious. Plant garlic! Simply take a healthy looking, fat clove off the garlic head and put it in the earth with the tip facing up; if you plant now you can have a harvest by mid-summer. Getting your hands in the earth and growing your own medicine is therapy in itself. Don’t let their fear tactics weaken you! Remember, prevention and peace of mind is the best medicine.

Julie Avena is a certified clinical herbalist, teacher, writer, mother, musician and dancer living in Ashland, Oregon. She creates a line of herbal body care products available at www.earthmamagoods.com. She can be reached for classes and consultations by calling 541-292-6062 or writing to mail@earthmamagoods.com.