Everyday Bliss

My buddy Donna Steinhorn, of the Association of Coaching Excellence just tapped me to reply to a post she made over at her blog on what we do to give away our power and how we can get it back. I’m happy to oblige with a few thoughts on the matter…good question!

Hey Donna, Donna!  For giving away power, I’ll have to go with you and say it’s getting dragged *back* into things that I had already found support on…then found support staff wasn’t doing what I needed them to. I’ve made out reams of instructions, spent personal time, taught them how to teach/create/whatever, and even set up a support help desk.

Yet, when the salami hits the fan, my students and customers complain directly to me as the buck really does stop here, on my desk. Sometimes though, no matter how much I gently redirect their complaints to the help desk, or counsel with an employee how to deal with the complaint on their own, I still occasionally, find myself embroiled in the thick of things.

This is a liminal time. Liminal, in the sense that it represents both a challenge and an opportunity. An opportunity, that comes to me in the form of empowering others to deal with things on their own that I have told the Universe I do not wish to deal with anymore. And by golly, it’s working, and the staff do their jobs really well for the most part. A challenge though, to shape gently and minimally, letting others do their own work without the temptation to become re-involved.

I stand on the threshold of two doorways, a hallmark of liminality.

One doorway, holds the new life I have affirmed over and over and over (and over…) that I want to lead. Not doing the "busy" in my job, but handing it off to others who are so much better at it. Not doing the main bulk of teaching in the post-graduate program I created, but hiring brilliant and qualified teachers from my own pool of graduates. Not coding every webpage and shopping cart item in my online store, but jobbing it out to the nicest VA’s in the world, who also run my help desk with polish and elan.

Life is good through this beautiful doorway. Life is as I want it to be. With this support system in place, I now have the time to create again that I badly needed, to cause my business and life mission (the two are indivisible really) to take off and truly fly. And lo and behold, it has.

But annoyingly sometimes, there is that other doorway. Rimmed in flame, in my imagination. The doorway through which previously ingrained pattern behavior wants to pull me backwards into the mental maelstrom of "no one can do it as good as I can!"  and "it takes me as long to teach them to do it as it would be for me to do it myself!".  Cue energy and power flowing away and down the drain.

That way lies insanity. Here there be Dragons.

While I have strayed back through the Flaming Door a few times in the past few months, such jaunts are becoming rarer and rarer. And it’s really okay if some folks think I’m a bitch because I don’t continually give and give and give to them of my time, expertise and energy, asking them instead to deal with the appropriate staff member. That nearly always happens when you make a shift like this. (watch for it…) And it’s okay if the staff doesn’t do it perfect, doesn’t get it right the first time or makes a spelling mistake (aaaaggh!!! pet-peeve-o-rama!) in official correspondence. Really, it is.

How I’ve made trips to the past in terms of pattern behavior dwindle to nothing is first by doing energy work, such as NLP processes, EFT, ZPoint Process or others on the patterns I know sabotage and weaken me. That done, I focus entirely on feeling good, to quote Wayne Dyer and Abraham-Hicks. Taking a page from Dr. Andrew Weil, I eschew the news more and more for reading things that educate and make me feel better and take also his prescription of a deep belly-laugh at least one a day…but you never can chuckle just once, can you?

And I take a leaf out of my own book on Bliss in slowing down, way down, no matter what. It’s a lifesaving move, and one you’ll thank yourself for. I remember Kim George’s sage quote: that nothing which is meant for me can be lost, and I reflect that I have all the time in the world, all I’ll ever need. That is a richness of reserve that keeps me looking towards the beautiful door, that keeps me going through it every day when I wake up, with singleminded intensity. 

Andy Andrews said that to truly succeed at anything, we must persist without exception. I choose to be happy every day. I choose to go through the beautiful door and live in the life I am dreaming into being. I choose to persist without exception in these things. That’s how I do it. There’s no "Secret" to it, there’s no magic other than consistently persisting in making these pivotal choices.

So how about you, dear reader? How do YOU give your power away and what do you do about it when you notice your energy going down the tubes to a power drain?

Leave a comment and let Donna and I know! 

And…I’d like to tag Krishna De, Jasmine White, Tara Katchaturoff, Suzanne Falter-Barns, Andy Wibbels, Jennifer Louden and Ellen Britt! Tag, you’re it!

Below is a great article from the Happily Retired blog on how to find healthy ways to cope with stress, and when to call the doctor. Get educated, know what your body and mind are doing and when:

For example:

* Eat a well-balanced, healthy diet. Don’t overeat.
* Get enough sleep.
* Exercise regularly.
* Limit caffeine and alcohol.
* Don’t use nicotine, cocaine, or other recreational drugs.
* Learn and practice relaxation techniques like guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, tai chi, or meditation. Try biofeedback, using a certified professional to get you started.
* Take breaks from work. Make sure to balance fun activities with your responsibilities. Spend time with people you enjoy.

Call your health care provider if:

Your doctor can help you determine if your anxiety would be best evaluated and treated by a mental health care professional.

Call 911 if:

* You have crushing chest pain, especially with shortness of breath, dizziness, or sweating. A heart attack can cause feelings of anxiety.
* You have thoughts of suicide.
* You have dizziness, rapid breathing, or racing heartbeat for the first time or it is worse than usual.

Call your health care provider if:

* You are unable to work or function properly at home because of anxiety.
* You do not know the source or cause of your anxiety.
* You have a sudden feeling of panic.
* You have an uncontrollable fear — for example, of getting infected and sick if you are out, or a fear of heights.
* You repeat an action over and over again, like constantly washing your hands.
* You have an intolerance to heat, weight loss despite a good appetite, lump or swelling in the front of your neck, or protruding eyes. Your thyroid may be overactive.
* Your anxiety is elicited by the memory of a traumatic event.
* You have tried self care for several weeks without success or you feel that your anxiety will not resolve without professional help.

Read the rest of this excellent, high-quality article at the Happily Retired Blog.

Do you Yoga? Yin Yoga and power sessions of Vinyasa Flow keep me unstressed and working in the top level of my capabilities most days. I don’t get colds anymore – I credit yoga among other self-care methods with keeping me healthy.  And it helps us ladies of a certain age to keep limber, prevent joint and back pain and keep the body fit and flexible

And others in business have found yoga to be their secret stress-busting weapon. Just listen to these professionals:

_“If you asked him a couple years ago whether he’d be doing yoga, Eddy Kelly would have called you crazy.

"My thing, for exercise, was to lift weights, go for a run, maybe play hockey in the fall and winter – but no thoughts of yoga," the 36-year-old said.

To the untrained eye, yoga looks more like the stretching you do before exercising than the actual exercise itself. It’s the warmup, not the muscle burner.

"I won’t say I thought of it as feminine at the time, but certainly not the type of workout where I would get in shape – not that strenuous thing I look to do twice a week," Kelly said. "But my opinion’s changed.

"It looks like you are stretching, but 10 minutes in, you are sweating."

"(Yoga) balances your day," Brenda Brown said. An executive assistant at a Bayers Lake-based company, she came up with the idea of holding the class. Yoga was offered at her previous job, and when she moved to Halifax, she made it her mission to introduce yoga at work.

"You have stressful things going on outside the office, inside the office, and if you just take an hour of your day, it really is productive. You can go back to your desk and tackle what you have to," she said.

Every Tuesday, about a dozen – mostly women – of the more than 100 employees get together in the cafeteria, push back tables, and roll out their yoga mats._”

Read the whole article here.

Thanks to Gina for a timely tip on the Mirasou Winery offering for Women Entrepreneurs:

Mirassou has been a longtime supporter of women-owned businesses over the past three years. Since obtaining capital is the No. 1 obstacle women face in starting their own businesses, Mirassou has created the "Make Your Dreams Come True with Mirassou" contest which provides $50,000 in seed money to help start a "Dream" business.

• Submit your application by December 15, 2007 for the chance to win $50,000 or a Talbots Shopping Spree!

The "Make Your Dreams Come True with Mirassou" contest is open to women who aspire to open a new business. To enter, applicants must submit a personal essay of 500 words or less describing themselves and why they think they would make a successful entrepreneur. A preliminary business plan will also be required and should include: 1) a description of the new business, 2) the consumer appeal to the new business, and 3) a plan to implement the new business.