» Archive for October, 2007

Modern CEO’s Must Manage Stress

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 by Maryam Webster

Michelle Courtney Berry tells us (and boy don’t we know it) -

"….Several top banking executives in New York State requested stress management training for their employees during the historic merger with Chemical Bank in 1996. One of the more progressive CEOs in Rochester requested a hands-on stress management workshop that blended elements of storytelling, poetry and meditation for an evening soirée for employees. Although other business associates might have thought his desire to blend tactical information with humor and relaxation was odd, he was clearly a visionary ahead of the times.

Indeed, it is only within the last few years that trainers and corporate coaches have combined workshops with meditation, massage and reiki (a hands-on energy ancient healing method designed to relieve stress) for corporate employees. This is a decisively new trend but one with ancient roots certainly worthy of replication in our over-exhausted, harried society."

Read the whole article right here.

What kind of culture are you encouraging in leading your company? How well do you value your team members, your own health, your unbridled creativity and productivity? All come with a more blissful, reduced-stress life.  If you haven’t yet, go look at the toys I give you to play with and reduce your own stress, here.

The BlissNote, R&D Team + A Free BlissMap

Monday, October 29th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

In bliss yet? Go here: maryamwebster.com/12keys Breaking News: Hi, this is Maryam…

Are you in Bliss yet? If not, you are going to want to join all the other folks who are getting together to immerse themselves in the 12 Keys To Blissful Living program with me in February, 2008. It’s a high energy, Must-Do training, community building and gathering of once and future Avatars of Bliss – you don’t want to miss this!  More Info & Registration Here


Get on The Bliss List by subscribing below. You’ll discover many more ways to make your days more sane, happy and user-friendly. And for the simple trade of your occasional comment or opinion, you’ll get as a thank-you, my own "How To Achieve Bliss In 8 Key Life Areas" MindMap with CLICKABLE LINKS to wonderful online resources that will take you much further – like a TREASURE MAP that will lead you to your own "gold within"…

You’ll also get invitations to free monthly telegatherings with me to explore and use the Everyday Bliss Process material, and enjoy expert interviews and info sent several times a month

There’s more about what a "No Sweat, All-Party" R&D Team is like below, but basically it’s full of men and women like you, who are dedicated to achieving and sharing more time, peace and sweetness in their lives. Go ahead, hop on the train and start your BlissMap today:

Subscribe & Get Your BlissMap Here:
Name
Primary Email


IMPORTANT NOTE:  After you hit the button, you’ll need to reply to our confirmation email so that we can send you the BlissMap and our Team call invitations. Sorry, but we CANNOT follow up on "challenge-response" services that require senders to go to a webpage to authorize our email to get through to you. If you have one of these, please use your PRIMARY Gmail, Yahoo or other account  instead (one you read every day, as our Bliss Party calls are sometimes at short notice!) to receive email from us.




What A "No Sweat, All-Party" R&D Team Is Like:

Periodically, I’ll send you an email with the time, date and bridgeline of a free opportunity to hang with me and the other members of the team in a:

"Bliss Party" R&D  Telegathering

On these party calls, you’ll get a HUGE jump on the rest of the world who will have to wait to read the book:

  • I’ll share, and we’ll discuss your thoughts on the 12 Keys to Everyday Bliss, the exercises in the book and new directions in my Bliss research. I’ll ask you to share your ideas on your experience of the exercises, research, or related products or services I’m thinking of integrating into the material…

  • We’ll have some of the Women of Everyday Bliss, expert interviewees come party with us and give us the benefit of their unique wisdom plus  experts from different fields you won’t hear elsewhere to share must-have resources, tips, tools and techniques…

  • And as always, I won’t let you get away without taking the good feelings even further, so you’ll get  ENERGY COACHING tidbits in each and every Bliss Party call…
  • I’ll also send you emails between the calls, and you send me your thoughts, improvements or other areas too look towards, if you feel called to do so. We’ll have fun musing together over how we can achieve Everyday Bliss in our lives and how to spread the Joy to others.

This is the basis of how I am conducting my research, so you have a chance to really influence the direction of the Everyday Bliss For Busy Women book and the products and services that will grow to complement the book and other books in the series.

While there are many perks to being an R&D BlissTeam member, you’ll participate at your own level of comfort, there are NO "musts, shoulds or oughts".  Answer R&D team emails as much as you want, party on our call-ins as often you want, listen to as many expert interviews as you want, take part in as many giveaways as you want.

As this is a community based effort and people very often come up with similar ideas, all contributions will be credited to "The Everyday Bliss R&D Team". And if you ever find you’re not having the time to participate, you can unsubscribe and re-subscribe at any time.

That’s a cartload of Blissful Goodness, and the warmth, love and support of a dedicatedly peaceful community to boot. How’s that for a deal?

We’ve got several more Keys to Bliss to research together, and this is the book’s production year – I’m still writing – (pub date: Spring, 2008) and it’s going to be busy, happy, party-filled and fun year for us all!

So if you’re interested in ALL these Goodies, and the clickable MindMap of "How To Achieve Bliss In 8 Key Areas Of Life", just fill in the form above…

Welcome!

See you at “Pink” in San Francisco!

Thursday, October 25th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

Come, join me tomorrow at the Pink Magazine Conference for Women Executives at the San Francisco Marriott in San Francisco, CA  – October 26th, 2007!  If you show up, seek me out! I’ll be greeting people as they arrive. Here is our wonderful lineup of speakers:

 

MODERATOR
Marie C. Wilson, founder and president, The White House Project
Marie Wilson founded The White House Project in recognition of the need to build a truly representative democracy – one where women lead alongside men. The White House Project has since led groundbreaking initiatives toward that goal. Wilson is also author of Closing the Leadership Gap: Why Women Can and Must Help Run the World (Penguin, 2006).

 

Karen Ferguson, president of North American operations, Resources Global Professionals
In 1996 Karen Ferguson helped found Resources Global Professionals, today a professional services firm with more than 3,900 employees. Ferguson helps manage the company’s global growth and leads business development and services for the firm’s U.S. operations. She also supports the Financial Women’s Association and the Jersey Battered Women’s Service.

Stephanie Gallo, director of marketing, Gallo Family Vineyards Twin Valley
Stephanie Gallo is the granddaughter of Ernest Gallo, who along with his brother founded E&J Gallo Winery in 1933. Today she leads all marketing for Gallo Family Vineyards Twin Valley, a $1.8 billion company. She started in the sales department of Romano Brothers Beverage Co., but after completing her master’s degree devoted herself to the family business.

 

Mellody Hobson, president, Ariel Capital Management
The subject of PINK’s June.July 2007 cover profile, Mellody Hobson is responsible for management and strategic planning for Ariel Capital Management and was recently elected chairman of the Ariel Mutual Funds board of trustees. She is a contributor on ABC’s Good Morning America and serves on multiple boards, including those of DreamWorks Animation, Estée Lauder and Starbucks.

 

Karen Quintos, VP and general manager, services for the small business segment, Dell Inc.
Karen Quintos is responsible for revenue and operating performance for Dell, which she joined in 2000 as director of the Demand/Supply organization in Dell Americas Operations. In 2001, she became vice president of supply chain management and in 2002 assumed a role on the Americas team. Quintos has served on several nonprofit boards.

 

Joanne Smith, SVP, in-flight service and global product development, Delta Air Lines
Joanne Smith leads more than 11,000 flight attendants, supervisors and administrative personnel worldwide for Delta Air Lines. Smith previously served as VP of marketing and as president of Song, the airline’s low-fare air service. Prior to joining Delta, Smith was VP of marketing and planning for DHL Airways Inc. in Chicago.

 

Review: Therapists, we’re not all that as Coaches…

Friday, October 19th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

My publishter, New Harbinger, sends out a very interesting monthly newsletter. The following is from their onboard promo for David Skibbins’ book Becoming a Life Coach: A Complete Workbook for Therapists and it is very sage advice  – especially for Energy Coaches in training…or at any level of their practice.

As we are studying ethics shortly in the Certified Energy Coach Program, this advice becomes particularly poignant. And those coming into coaching out of any kind of therapy background, do read this book posthaste for it highlights among other subjects, very important shifts in worldframe that therapists must make to be successful as coaches and what our rigorous training prepares us beautifully to coach around.

A "bravo" and two thumbs up to my colleague David Skibbins, PhD, CPCC for a wonderful book and job well done. Highly recommended for Energy Coaches and anyone transiting from any form of therapy or healing work into coaching.

    Maryam Webster
    writing as Director, The Energy Coach Institute

********     ***     ********     ***     ********     ***     ********

From Chapter 1:
CONTRASTING THERAPY & COACHING: DIFFERENT LEVELS OF AUTHORITY

{worthy text which can be read here excised}

Experts Can’t Be Trusted

Many mentally healthy clients distrust therapists. And not unreasonably—all our training in psychology has warped our point of view. We are experts in the assessment and treatment of psychopathology. And so we tend to see it everywhere: everyone is neurotic, corporations are dysfunctional, the government is addicted to power and control. Most people are mentally healthy. Until you wrap your mind around that fact you’ll be re-creating your clinical practice wherever you go. You’ll be unconsciously disempowering your clients by finding problems they need to solve. They’ll sense that you don’t completely trust them, that you regard them as patients. You may get compliance or you may get rebellion—both of which are expressions of dissatisfaction

The Wrong Tool for the Job

It’s inappropriate to apply a therapeutic perspective to most real-life situations, especially work settings. Therapeutic perspectives are well-honed tools that are invaluable in assisting dysfunctional clients to become functional, but they are simply inadequate for addressing the dynamics of already functional environments. Of course, this hasn’t stopped psychodynamic and psychologically based systems theorists from analyzing the workplace. Indeed, these ideas have been elegantly applied to the workplace for years—with no apparent impact on work environments whatsoever. Pointing out the narcissistic qualities of leadership, analyzing top-down communication fl ow patterns, and discoursing on parentifi ed employer-employee relationships have all fallen on deaf ears. Having twenty-three names for snow doesn’t help you much in a jungle—and all that accurate clinical terminology doesn’t translate very well to corporate America. That’s because people at work have work to do and don’t have time for psychological mumbo jumbo. It’s simply the wrong tool for the job.

Functioning companies are intelligent, responsive, complex living systems. To superimpose a paradigm that evolved out of personal, psychological clinical work onto the richness of the minute-to-minute challenges and choices that face a growing corporate entity is absurd. The concepts of an outside expert—especially a clinically trained one—are going to have very little impact on that environment.

The Special Bonus of Therapy: We Know How to Control Ourselves

Therapists are particularly well suited to an egalitarian approach because of our training in self-management. The intensive interpersonal training we’ve gone through also serves to make us outstanding empowerment coaches. We’ve already learned how to moderate our responses in the service of the client’s needs. Other coaches-in-training also have to struggle with selfidentification as a helper and the habit of giving advice, but few of them have gone through the deep, insight-oriented inner work required of a psychotherapist. Thanks to our training as therapists, when we realize the negative impact controlling behavior can have on a client, we can modify our responses to better coach our clients. Once therapists stop trying to sneak therapy into coaching, therapists become outstanding empowerment coaches—primarily because of our self-awareness and our self-management abilities.

GIVING UP AUTHORITY

However, just reading a few paragraphs about authority may not be enough to persuade you to give up years of feeling in charge. So let’s see exactly what’s at stake here:

  • What do I enjoy the most about feeling competent and in control as a therapist?
  • Where else in my life do I think I need to be the one in charge?
  • What might I get from letting go of my authority role when I coach?

Now that you understand how different coaching is from therapy—and why it should be—here’s an exercise to help you fully step into this new perspective:

You can read the rest of this article here.

Final Fantasy…

Friday, October 12th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

I’m in the last few days of doing author edits to my book, Everyday Bliss For Busy Women. I can’t tell you what a joy it will be to finally be done. My participation in the production will be limited from here on until the book hits the shelves of your local Borders or Barnes & Noble the first of May, 2008.

I was speaking to one of my clients, Susannah*, a corporate excecutive in prosthetic device manufacturing, about the feelings involved in finishing a big piece of work. She detailed the wind-down of a project she’s involved in:  "It’s funny" she said. "I have a sense of tremendous accomplishment in this project, it’s just like giving birth. But then there’s the letdown of not being pregnant any more. And I liked being pregnant!" she said emphatically. "But I also loved having my babies in the world to share with the rest of our family…just like I will be so glad to have this prosthesis out the door and doing good for people."

I know how you feel Susannah, I feel the same way about Everyday Bliss! I can’t wait until the book hits the shelves! In a way, I’ve had a "final week fantasy" that I finish the book, tons of women who’ve never heard of energy therapies learn about them and get themselves, their children and their whole families and communities free from stress, illness and fear. Wouldn’t that be just the best thing?

And on stress, I’ll share one of the Bliss Keys from the book:

"Nothing is truly required of you"

Past  your own survival needs, most of the stress we heap on ourselves is of our own making .Think about it…

*name changed to protect privacy

Three Mistakes Executive Women Make

Sunday, October 7th, 2007 by Maryam Webster

I took class with Liselotte Molander a few years ago and she’s a swell coach. Imagine my delight to find this great article by Liselotte on Stress and the Executive Woman! Full of sage wisdom and good suggestions, her "Three Mistakes" is a great cautionary tale. Read and enjoy…


Working as an executive manager in International Trade and Marketing is not always exciting, energizing or fulfilling; it sometimes may be the highway to personal crisis and burnout. Here is the true story about Susan…

Susan had a very busy life. As a Purchasing Manager in International Trade, she was always on the road. Though she loved her job, it kept her frantically busy, traveling around the world, climbing another rung in the career ladder every two years. She had 2 small children at home and a husband equally as busy. Increasing competition, clashes with her boss about the ideas she felt strongly about, pressure at home, and constraint in her marriage added to her growing feeling of fatigue and frustration.

Susan felt she had too much to do and no time to do it. Almost in desperate need for a change she found another position in International Relations, hoping that with the change in jobs, everything would level out. At first she felt better, but soon Susan was overwhelmed and felt helpless again. Guilt, hopelessness, and despair filled her as well as self-blame for not managing the situation.

Fear of losing "everything" fueled her effort, working only to avoid criticism and job loss. Her motivation was gone and she saw no way out of her situation. Fear of burnout and depression kept her going, but inside she felt totally empty and powerless.

How did Susan’s life go so wrong? Here are the top 3 things she did to fail:

1. Susan was working hard and got no acknowledgement at work. Money and materialism became the yardsticks she employed to measure her worth. Susan was missing something but couldn’t connect the dots. Her daily survival method became fighting or fleeing while completing her daily tasks.

2. Susan experienced more and more stress in her life. She thought that lowering the stress would get her back on track. She started to schedule facials, body massages, and spa days into her already busy schedule. She felt angry and blamed herself for not being wiser, stronger or better. Ironically enough, by adding these relaxing activities, Susan increased her stress level even more. . .

Read the rest of this article here and visit Liselotte at her website.