Everyday Bliss

I was recently asked by a client how to remain professional in a contentious situation. Here is something I wrote a long time ago that still applies:

Cultivate that within you that is respectful, self-aware, classy, dignified and grounded in bedrock, and you will have all the professional demeanor you will ever need.

Last year the National Institute of Health published a study that said echinacea, or purple coneflower (at right – isn’t she pretty?), does nothing to help or cure the common cold. (Hundreds of years of pioneer and native American experience to the contrary). Now, the British Journal Lancet has published a counter study that says granny was right. From USA Today Health:

A new study published today in the British journal The Lancet: Infectious Diseases  finds that the popular herbal supplement echinacea cuts the chance of catching a cold by 58% and can reduce the duration of colds by about a day and a half.

This directly contradicts a major study funded by the National Institutes of Health and published last year in the New England Journal of Medicine which found that echinacea doesn’t work.

The Lancet study looked at the results of 14 previous clinical trials that investigated echinacea’s effects on the common cold. Those trials involved a total of over 1,600 patients.

The analysis was done by Craig Coleman, a professor of pharmacy at the University of Connecticut, and colleagues. Meta-analyses combine the findings of large numbers of studies to tease out trends that might not be visible individually.

Coleman and his colleagues looked at all the randomized, placebo-controlled, peer-reviewed studies available and by combining their data, found that echinacea reduced the incidence of contracting the common cold and its duration.

And they wonder why the herb grannies sometimes cast a jaundiced eye at ‘that newfangled doctorin". While science has its place, you’ve got to wonder sometimes why hundreds of years of anecdotal evidence is often pooh-poohed. Perhaps because big pharma can’t lay patent to what is essentially a weed?  Full article here 

Haven’t we been telling them this all these years? Well just recently, the docs and scientists finally wised up in this article from CNN:

You know you’ll get killer cramps or that nasty headache any minute now, but nothing you take seems to help once the pain hits.

You’re not alone: Many women have a tough time finding the right kind of relief for their pain –and for good reason: Until recently, experts hadn’t actually studied women’s pain specifically, and most research wasn’t conducted with a woman’s hormones and physique in mind. All that’s changing, though.

Docs now know that to banish our aches, they must develop treatments formulated for women’s bodies. What’s more, researchers are also looking for — and finding — ways to head pain off at the pass, so those of us with chronic troubles such as migraine, fibromyalgia, or backache don’t have to be hobbled by pain on a daily basis. Here, the new research will help you live an (almost) pain-free life.

Maryam’s take: If you’d have asked us, we could have told you – right ladies? So you can use epidural blocks and the like suggested in this article, or you could simply do what I did when faced with pain so gaspingly disabling from a broken back I could literally not get out of bed: Energy therapies.

Whether you turn on Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) or the point-free ZPoint Process (a little ZPoint humor there – wink), they all work well for pain and symptom relief once you understand how  to work them, and without the side effects of Oxy-Contin or other commonly prescribed "killer" pain  relievers.

The article goes on:  What should have been a relatively simple injury became an odyssey that had Weiner visiting specialists all over San Francisco. She finally found a podiatrist who "took a detective-like approach to the problem," Weiner says, by exploring and treating each joint and tendon in a methodical search for the pain’s source. Thanks to this care, which includes regular pain-preventing cortisone shots, the 55-year-old mother of one has been able to resume her hobby of salsa dancing.

Very important in your care to find someone who (1) Believes in you  and (2) Is willing to take the time to be a detective and find out what’s really wrong, instead of shopping you every pain pill in creation without doing the sleuthing first. And, to be a sleuth in your own body, for what bugs you, what is good for you and what you notice that’s different.

In the middle of pain and physical drama? Notice what’s happening from a deep place inside the felt-sense of your body. Take notes and start a journal of your symptoms, precipitating foods, events and people. Be a body detective…

To be continued…

My eyes were streaming with joy as I watched this latest video – Paul Potts, underdog from Wales WON the Britain Has Talent show and in fulfillment of a lifelong dream, will be going to sing for the Queen. If you haven’t yet read about this humble man’s amazing story you can do so, and watch Paul’s audition tape at my blog entry here.

And in further testament to the power of a vision coupled with perseverance through obstacles into Bliss, enjoy – with tissues by your side – Paul’s winning announcement and encore performance:

Do you AQ? If not, you might want to. AQ stands for Abundance Quotient and is a system developed by my friend Kim George to e-x-p-a-n-d the potential and possibilites of your life. I loved her newsletter intro of today so much I am reproducing it below as a sterling example of a wonderful Everyday Bliss mindset. Savor this delicious slice of summer savvy and get yourself on over to Kim’s site and sign up for her newsletter and classes today.
 

Kim

Seth Godin recently blogged about being lonely, saying "People spend money..and invest time and enormous energy to solve this problem…"  Loneliness can be a big problem, but it doesn’t have to cost you money to solve. In working with clients from busy moms to corporate executives, I find every one of them is lonely at some point in time. Many are lonely for long stretches, and are even lonely in the midst of a pack of third-graders clamoring for juice, busy board meetings or even hanging out with friends, family or colleagues. Either they’re not making time in their day for fulfilling relationships, looking for ideal people that just aren’t in their environment, or looking for something that doesn’t exist.

Sometimes these women reveal fantasy to be at the heart of their dreams of curing loneliness. We often want what we can’t have – the unobtainable popular or wealthy person to be a comfort, those dear ones who are long dead, or comrades who look like the close-knit group of friends from a favorite television show. These busy, successful women are not lonely hermits, but people with friends, communities and loving families. They sometimes feel their burdens are too great to impose upon the time of those families and friends. Or they have other unrealistic beliefs that limit their ability to reach out.

One of the best things about lonely is that its easily curable once unrealistic expectations are surpassed.

If you are lonely, don’t sit at home or in the office feeling sorry for yourself. Here are a few pro-active steps to take, and one security precaution you need to know about and below that, my All-Time Best Anti-Lonliness Tip:

• If your workmates go out at lunch or after work, contrive to be included – EVEN IF they aren’t the "ideal" people you want to hang out with.

• If you meet other moms at the park, make a point of speaking to them and getting to know them better. Invite them for coffee or play dates with your kids EVEN IF they aren’t of your religion, educational background or social strata.

• If  you have a home office, make a date with another home worker to meet at a coffee shop a few times a week and plug your laptop into the coffee shop’s wireless system to get your admin work done.

• And if you’re concerned about security using a coffeeshop’s wireless system, try the comprehensive JiWire WiFi Hotspot locator, email enabler and WiFi security system here: http://www.jiwire.com/hotspot-helper.htm

You’ll widen your world when you take these proactive steps. And if those immediately surrounding you aren’t 100% your cup of tea, by at least making the effort, you’re telling the Universe that you’re open to meeting new people. As long as you keep focusing your mind on exactly who you want to meet and tell those you’re with, sooner or later you will. Plant seeds of ideas in those around you like this: "Say, I’d like to meet some other Green Party vegetarians – do you know any?" Your workmates might not, but for sure they’ll remember you when their aunt mentions her neighbor, the eco-friendly vegan woman. And they’ll mention it to you. Such are connections formed, that end loneliness.

Now, The Number One Tip For Curing Loneliness:

Be In Service To Others

Focusing on those who are in the most need will help you make lonliness a thing of the past. Visit, help out or volunteer your time with the elderly and/or with children. If the idea of being with seniors makes you roll your eyes, look in the mirror sunshine – you’ll be there soon yourself. Make friends with the inevitable and know that today’s older folks aren’t the older folks of your childhood. If your remembrance of relatives in warehouse homes is keeping you away, it shouldn’t. Seniors today are peppier far longer into their golden years than they used to be. Those that are living in communal housing environments or nursing homes are dying for want of just a little bit of company – either a one time visit or an ongoing gig. What about going hiking or on a visit to the local gardens with an elder who has no family to visit them? 

Increasingly, seniors are leading active lives well into their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

One thing’s sure, you’ll be curing two people’s loneliness at least ,and learn a whole lot into the bargain. Our world’s greatest repository of wisdom lies in the still-active hearts and minds of our elderly, and they’re a hoot to hang out with. It may not be the ideal relationship you’re looking for, but being with the elderly broadens your life in ways you cannot any other way.

If you have a special skill, like teaching yoga, self-defense or something more stationary like making candles, soap or paper, writing a novel, advice on stock trading or real estate investing – elders in your community would love to learn, and you would stand the chance of alleviating the lonliness of many more than just one. Check your local community college senior section and city senior care programs. Good karma goes a long way in alleviating your own lonliness.

Children Need You Too
If you’re not a parent, you probably don’t know that in America, our public school systems are in deep trouble. Teachers are having to purchase notebooks and pencils – textbooks in some places. I won’t go on a political rant here, but the situation is dire indeed. If you want to cure your loneliness, volunteer at your local elementary school, junior high or high school. Many schools don’t ask for a constant commitment and are pleased as punch if you want to come in just an hour or two a week or on a one time basis to share your special skill or talents. Conact your local schools to learn more or go through your local area’s volunteer programs. A tip: Younger children tend to be more appreciative of your time than older ones, but the need is prevalent at all levels. If you crave attention and appreciation however, the little ones are you best bet…but the older kids need you just as much, sometimes more.

Cultivation of Everyday Bliss without giveback is little more than selfish pampering. If you’re not giving back and sharing your life, time and talents with others, you’re not truly living. And the Law of Tenfold Return  "what you give out returns to you tenfold" is true. Whether you’re lonely or not, go forth and give back, so that you may receive.

Talk about following your bliss, wait ’til you view this must-see inspirational movie. Paul Potts, cell phone salesman from Wales and not very impressive by his own admission in a cheap suit and bad haircut, knocked ‘em dead last night. This modest man whose dream it is to sing opera, blew the top off England’s answer to American Idol ("Britain’s Got Talent") with his rendition of Nessun Dorma, made famous by none other than opera virtuoso Luciano Pavarotti.

Both men and women in the audience were deeply moved, and gave him an enthusiastic standing ovation. Simon Cowell’s jaw literally dropped. Judge Amanda Holden wept…as did I, when I saw this stunning performance. Potts has overcome shattered collarbone, burst appendix and a host of other personal ills to appear on this program, because he had a dream. And nothing could keep him down. Now, he’s being considered to sing for the Queen herself.

Moral of the Story: Let nothing stand in the way of your dream. Nothing. 

You go Mr. Potts. The Queen is waiting, and the world is with you. Bravissimo!

Full Story, here: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21904047-2,00.html

It’s rare anymore, but I sometimes get potential clients who wonder why I refer them to other coaches when they say “But it’s YOU I really want to work with!”. Sometimes I feel I’m simply not the best coach for them and that what they really need is to be found with another coach I can refer them to. Sometimes people want coaching, but they really aren’t ready for the kind of intensity such a relationship can generate, or are a wee bit too comfortable in their rut to really work at change. Sometimes a different level of expertise or specialty is called for. And then, there are those who are simply “coachability impaired”.

To correct what may be a widespread assumption, coaches are not obliged to help all and sundry. Though many varieties of coaching exist for the wide variety of clients that exist, coaching by its very nature is a profession that demands one’s highest and best performance. To assure that, coaches are choosy and only work with clients that fit our particular skillsets and energetic bandwidth – just like other service providers. You don’t see a lawyer for a heart transplant. Likewise, a C-level executive seeking snappy, fast-paced high performance coaching wouldn’t employ a creativity, academic or ADD coach. For different needs there are different talents and specialties in the coaching world. That extends also to the personality of client being coached, in what we refer to as “coachability”.

To protect our energies and precious time from being wasted, we all have our red velvet ropes and sets of immutable parameters past which folks who aren’t at a certain level, are not permitted. To attempt to coach people who are resistant to change, aren’t ready for a coaching partnership or are not willing to expand their horizons would be an exercise in frustration and futility for both coach and client. Most experienced coaches can size potential clients like this up in a few heartbeats. It only takes a few to drain you dry before you develop such instincts. And in a nod to Bea, it’s not arrogance or snobbery, but self-preservation and conservation of resources at the heart of the golden restraining posts holding up that red velvet rope.

Thanks and a tippo of the “you said it” hat goes to Seth Godin for his Distinctionary entry below, on “What Coachable Means in Real Life”. You go, my brother.

Coachable

A friend is wrestling with his ability to be coached. For the coachable, “Turn right at the light” is seen as a helpful suggestion for someone lost in a strange town… the advice goes in, is considered and then acted upon. For someone wrestling with coaching, though, it’s like surgery. It’s painful, it has side effects and it might lead to a bad reaction.

Coaching happens all the time. Most often, it’s not from a boss or a professional coach. In fact, the best insights and advice usually come from informal or unexpected sources.

In fluid marketing and organization environments, where the world changes rapidly, coachability is a key factor in evolving and succeeding. Not because all advice is good advice. In fact, most advice is lousy advice. No, the reason coachability is so crucial is that without it, you don’t have the emotional maturity to consider whether the advice is good or not. You reject the process out of hand, and end up stuck.

Symptoms of uncoachability:

* Challenging the credentials of the coach
* Announcing that you’re being unfairly singled out
* Pointing out, angrily, that the last few times, the coach was wrong
* Identifying others who have succeeded without ever being coached
* Resisting a path merely because it was one identified by a coach

Years ago, at the great Bolshoi Ballet, auditions for the troupe were conducted among 8 year old girls. That’s because it took ten years to become great. How did the auditions work? The teachers weren’t looking for the best dancers. They were looking for the dancers who took coaching the best. The rest would come with time.

See the original at Seth Godin’s Blog, and Bea’s post on “Topgrading”.

Yesterday I went to see my wonderful friend Jasmine for a tui-na and tuning forks massage. (if you don’t know what tui-na is, it’s the best thing since sliced tekka) Afterward, I went to the large Asian shopping center on Wolfe Road in San Jose, to the HK Potsticker for takeout. On the way I stopped at the adjacent Ten-Ren for a jasmine peal tea and a bag of tea eggs – mmm, delicious. While I don’t eat potstickers anymore (no gluten for me!) I had their yummy minced shrimp in lettuce cups, always a crowd pleaser.

I sat outside under the walkway roof and admired the fine day and local wildlife while sipping tea and waiting for my takeout order. A small young finch, taking his first steps out of the nest caught my eye in the rafters above me. His entire little body was quivering with nerves and every fluffed feather trembled. Cheeping constantly, he took one hop after the other and finally flittered up to the rafter above, where his mother chirped her congratulations.

“Good boy!” I called out in encouragement. “Way to go!” His siblings in the nest put up an angry, squabbling chorus. As the little finch looked back at them, he seemed to sag, trembling all the harder – I fancied they were not being very supportive.

Mombird flew a few rafters off to a higher beam, turned around, cocked her head and chirped, fixing her offspring with a beady eye. Looking back at his nest-mates, the little fellow trembled even harder and his cheeping entreaties increased in urgency. He made several false starts and I cheered him again, joined by the hostess from the restaurant and a passerby who stopped to see what the commotion was about. I was cheering in English, they in Mandarin. We were all saying the same thing though: “Go on little guy, you can do it!”.

The young’n looked first to his mother, then to the three of us standing on the sidewalk cheering him on. Finally, with a huge cheep, swelled breast and fluttering of tiny wings, he flapped unsteadily but successfully, up to the higher beam.

Mombird clucked over her baby and preened his feathers by way of comfort. The two ladies and I laughed delightedly, called our congratulations, and shook hands before going our separate ways.

This Brave Little Bird reminded me again to pay attention only to those who cheer me in life and ignore those whose sour grapes attitude wastes time and energy with displays of anger, jealousy or attempts to bring us down.

He reminded me to look for and pay attention to those who are supportive, even if they don’t know I can do something, but simply believe I can. And who are willing to give the gift of their Belief to me freely, just for the joy of doing so. This is a gift that is best enjoyed by passing it on. Let others know you believe in them, cheer them on to success! That’s like money in the bank, for when you need someone to cheer you, they’ll be there.

It also reminds me of Abraham-Hicks saying that we are blessed with an “emotional self-guidance system”. When we go for what is purely pleasurable and blissful to us, we will always succeed and attract what is highest and best for us. The Brave Little Bird needed to push through his fear and learn how to fly. While I can only imagine, to quote Jonathan Livingston Seagull, flight is the most purely enjoyable thing for a bird, it’s their reason for being. “I Fly, therefore I Live.”

What is YOUR “flight” – your reason for living? Do you get enough of that in your everyday life? Let’s talk about it. Comment here, below….