Everyday Bliss

I have a friend whom I dearly love – Kim George, author of Coaching Into Greatness and Director of the AQ Institute. A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of hanging out in Kim’s home for a week, and being her guest at a concert by acknowledged "young guitar god", Derek Trucks.

Kim wanted to introduce me to Derek’s work because he is, quite honestly, probably the greatest guitarist now living. Or at least one of the mega-greats. You look at what he does with his fingers and listen to the virtuosity, and  your mouth simply falls to the ground. It’s the kind of good that spins your heart, stomach and head all in different directions and leaves you wanting much, much more. Emotions you didn’t know you had bloom suddenly and make you ache, but in a good way. You don’t want the set to end. But I digress…

Some might know Derek as an Eric Clapton protege, or from his work with the Allman Brothers. But on May 17th in Torrington, Connecticut at the palatial Warner Theater, it was solely the Derek Trucks Band, resplendent in its own celebratory glory. 

We got there from deep in the wilderness of Massachussets through the backwoods express route into what seemed like nowhere. Thanks, Google Maps. After miles of beautiful trees, lakes, herds of man-sized mosquitoes, cud-munching Guernseys and a medieval fortress dam or two (one wondered if we hadn’t taken a turn into the Twilight Zone) we arrived in Torrington and had the time of our lives.

Kim has been a fan for ages, and I was a virgin conquest, brought to be sacrificed upon the altar of good music. My heart thumped, thighs quivered and as many before me, I became thoroughly infected with the DTB virus. We all had the DTB’s pretty bad, to be honest. But if you haven’t seen and heard Mr. Trucks and his quirky, amazing fellow musicians, you are missing one heck of a treat. They not only roll out good rock, soul, jazz, r&b and blues, but the personalities of each musician are as engaging as their repertoire. Holy hit parade Batman, but the dude can rock SOLID! If you’re into fancy fretwork, Derek Trucks is your man.

I snuck in my Casio Exilim and managed a few short  and shaky vidcaps between security-guard strafings, the light flashing from an adjacent teenager playing games on his cellphone, and bobbing and weaving of the extra-large-headed fellow right in front of my lens. There was by way of compensation, a nice fellow sitting next to me named John, who interestingly is moving to nearby Walnut Creek within the month. (Dude! Meet you at the Fillmore!)  He and Kim exchanged emails and furtive plans to move items of fandom across state lines…which I am assured is all quite legal…. 

Not my best, but here for Kim and the rest of the excessively *rabid* Derek Trucks fans, (and they’re all rabid) is this five minute-sumpin’ Video.  Be mindful of your speakers, download at will, and Enjoy…

If you’re reading this blog, then you’re undoubtedly dedicated to the experience of Everyday Bliss. So I KNOW you’ll want to participate in the FREE Teleclass I’m doing TODAY with Ellen Britt, for her Everyday Qi program.

I’ll be sharing the first FIVE Keys to Everyday Bliss from my upcoming Everyday Bliss For Busy Women book, a technique you can use to rev up your energy (even when you are tired, ill or have had a horrible day) and how to use the energy of intention to transform your  limitations into a precious treasure.

Interested? Calendar open at 5pm Pacific / 8pm Eastern TODAY, Wednesday 5/23?

Great!  Sign up here:

http://www.everydayqi.com/signup4webster.html

There are MASSES of goodies included of course,  and you’ll also get to hear LOTS of other fantastic speakers on energy techniques and other health and wellness promotion info that you can really use.

See you there!

Warmly,
Maryam

This is THE Blog for you if you’re a Woman who desires to live a life of  Everyday Bliss. Though that necessarily requires a bit of work on yourself, Bliss also BEGINS with accepting you for WHO YOU ARE.  Your thighs are thin enough. Trust me, my thighs are bigger than yours and it doesn’t keep me up nights. Bliss is knowing that things are okay as they are, you’re just fine, you are living a Guided life, and what needs to change will take care of itself.

TODAY my friend the renowned "Comfort Queen", Jennifer Louden, has declared an international holiday:

May 15, 2007:  Freedom From Self Improvement Day

Self-improvement is a one-way ticket to misery, Jen says. She endorses a path to happiness and fulfillment that starts with acceptance of who and where you are.

As a certified Bliss Booster, I couldn’t agree more.

As we give gratitude for what is good and wonderful in our lives, we need to start with ourselves – WHOMever you are, WHEREever you are and WHATever is going on in your life….is all just fine. 

“Beating ourselves up because our thighs aren’t thin enough, or because we still haven’t perfected the art of ‘positive thinking’ hasn’t made us happier or the world a better place,” says Jen, whose books include The Woman’s Comfort Book and her recently released The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year.

“Inner peace through endless self-improvement only serves to make us endlessly dissatisfied and disappointed. The biggest paradox in trying to change ourselves is that nothing happens until we embrace who and how we are right now, imperfections, perceived flaws and all.” she says.

I’ll add that it is only then that you can go forward out of what isn’t what you want and engage the Law of Attraction to get what you want. That Gratitude for What Is, is absolutely essential. And it needs to be legitimate gratitude, not merely mouthed insincerely.

My recommendation, if you’re not to the happy place with where you are yet, is to start with the EFT Personal Peace Procedure. Being at peace with yourself is key to Everyday Bliss.

The day will include a number of resources to encourage self-acceptance, ban self-improvement, and have fun while doing it, including a “Declaration of Independence from Self-Improvement,” audio downloads contributed by a host of best-selling authors and spiritual teachers, and suggested activities for celebrating our beautiful, imperfect selves.

To get a comprehensive run-down on what Jen is offering, check her blog out at:

http://freedomfromselfimprovement.com

And drop the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s, don’ts and must-do’s that litter your life and poison personal peace.

Be Kind to You.

Be gentle and compassionate with your dear, precious self. 

To quote Jen: "True change is a result of self-love, not self-hatred.”  You said it, girlfriend.

By the time you read this, I’ll be on a jet plane and flown off to Massachussets to visit NLP and Coaching friends, do a little teaching, a smattering of processes and have a lot of fun. When I get back in a week, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of stories to tell and new processes to share as I’m meeting with, among other colleagues, good buddy and NLP legend, Harvard Business School’s own Stever Robbins. It’s bound to be fun and there will be declaiming on Cambridge Common to be listened to. Come join me for a picnic lunch if you’re on Cambridge Common by the Whitefield Elm at noon, this Friday, May 18th. I’ll be speaking on Energy Therapies and I’d love to meet you!

Until next time, don’t forget the fabulous giveaway going on ONLY until the END OF MAY at:

http://maryamrecommends.com/selfimprovement.html

TONS of self improvement gifts, freebies, software, memberships and so on.

And just wait for tomorrow, when you’ll see quite a DIFFERENT face on the "improve thyself" ticket.

Wait for it!

Love & Blessings,
Maryam

A Powerful Pointer To Bliss:

Yoga is not simply the science and art of moving your body into a pretzel shape or sweating at high temperatures. The majority of yoga is concerned with "your inner pretzel", or yoga to develop the mind and soul. Inspiration is a powerful motivator and pointer towards enlightenment. The following is a quote by the great Indian sage Patanjali on the subject of inspiration:

When you are inspired by some great purpose,
some extraordinary project,
all of your thoughts break their bonds
Your mind transcends limitations.
Your consciousness expands in every direction.
And you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world.
Dormant forces, faculties and talents come alive
and you discover yourself to be a greater person
by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

So if you’re feeling piddly, puny and small, think about why you’re here on the earth – the real reason. Not the laundry list of things you have to do before the next board meeting or team call…or for that matter, your laundry. Focus on what juices you, even though right now you can’t see how it will help you work through your management issue, product distribution troubles, or get a thousand pounds of rice into your charity’s warehouse, or…

Address any thoughts, beliefs and blockages to living fully expressed and in flow with the universe with ZPoint, EFT or your favorite energy therapy. These thoughts and beliefs bind us and keep us from fully expressing as Source. As you lose this bondage, those dormant forces, faculties and talents Patanjali speaks of will pop out of the woodwork with an energy and swiftness and appropriateness that will astonish and delight you. And you will discover yourself to be a greater person that you ever dreamed you could be.

Enjoy the Bliss!!

The below is a bit technical but for Kamala AND Marion, who asked. This reply in particular was to Marion, on the NCC list:

…I deal with fear-bashing on a daily basis and it’s one of the first things I teach the energy coaches I train. First of all one of the presuppositions that we work by which comes from neurolinguistic programming:

"There is no Failure – Only Feedback"

Once a person really gets this, the shame, guilt and upset that accompanies such fear is taken down significantly. When they try at a task and perceive that they "fail" again and again, they are in reality researchers in their own lives, gathering data. They have reached several plateaus in their data gathering that tell them that this is another way not to accomplish the task they are addressing. This is wonderful, for they are weeding down the thousands of possible choices to the ones that really matter, that will get them "there" – wherever that is.

Here is the process we use to deal with Fear of any kind, in The Everyday Bliss Process and Energy Coaching in general:

First I do reality checking. Is this a realistic fear? If not, we present a reframing primarily and may or may not go further. Often this is all that is required, but if not we will go on to do a belief change process and sometimes a recoding of the base formative decision with the client’s choice of energy change modalities. ZPoint Process is my current favorite, though TAT and EFT are also excellent for this purpose.

We also want to know in the case of a major personality base-matrix decision, if this is a present fear, or something that has been sown in childhood as most root fears are. When we have a fear of basic core states like success and failure, they are without exception, no matter how recent a trigger experience might have been, rooted deep in childhood – one’s first experiences with authority. While it is immaterial with some of the more advanced of the energy change modalities to know exactly when and what happened, clients will often have a sense of this.

Whether they remember a pivotal moment or not, we:

1) Reframe at all levels, but particularly the kinesthetic (how this feeling of fear sits in their body or mind) using a variety of techniques

2) Recode the decision made as a result of the initiating experience (the "I’m afraid to fail (because when I do I am beaten or yelled at)" or "I will NEVER be successful (because all successful people are jerks and I hate jerks)…and in fact, I’m afraid of success")

3) Do a conflict integration in the case of a double-bind which is nearly always present in Fear based beliefs, and finally

4) Instill a new decision about the childhood experience, plus a choice the client makes about how they would rather view the thing once feared.

Here’s an example: A father hits his child when the child fails tests at school, yelling at him and calling him stupid. The child over time concludes that they are stupid and that they are incapable of success, because the authority figures they trust, the father and perhaps a teacher or two tells them so. Perhaps not directly, but children are masters of reading implication.

Decisions Made as a result of this: "I am stupid"  + "I cannot be successful" and there’s a hidden one there too: "When I fail, I experience pain" and the real whammy: "I’m frightened to fail, yet I can never succeed"

This is a classic double-bind and sets the child up for a lifetime of failure, pain, and self-destruction. While these ‘failures’ may be only minor, they are experienced as shattering.

Such an individual as an adult might choose the new decision of "Father didn’t know what he was talking about, he was speaking from his own pain and had no idea about my capabilities. Therefore, I cannot trust or believe what he told me then."  and the Choice of "I am infinitely capable and have proven it many times. I have a college degree – stupid people don’t get degrees, only smart people do. Therefore I know that I am smart enough and I choose to feel okay about who I am. I enjoy succeeding, and know that I have all it takes to be successful. I’ve proven this many times in my life…."

The client will ideally go on to fill in the blanks of a good handful of the times they have successfully accomplished a task. Any task is relevant, no matter how small.

The point is to provide as many counter-examples to the perceived sense of failure as possible.

Much of this is derived from neurolinguistic programming, though accomplished in Energy Coaching through the sophisticated use of the simple-to-practice energy changework techniques EFT, ZPoint and TAT.

I hope this wasn’t too academic and can be helpful to coaches and therapists alike out there – you can do much of this in a talking mode with a client using appreciative inquiry as well. Enjoy!

Warm Blessings,
Maryam

I’ve had several emails asking "What the heck is Morris Dancing?" and thought no words better capture the thing than those of Ric Goldman from his FAQ at: 

http://rgoldman.org/morris/mayday.htm

Ric’s entire website should be perused for best understanding and knowledge of Morris and Molly sides where you live, but here is his rundown on an explanation of the art form:

What IS Morris Dancing?

Morris dancing is a living tradition of English celebratory and ritual dance with live music, with origins shrouded in mystery and the mists of time.   Shakespeare used it in his plays and it was old then.  The dancers usually wear bells at their knees and often wave hankies (to attract and welcome benevolent spring and summer spirits) or clash sticks (symbolizing the eternal battle between winter and summer), and the dances have traditionally been performed around the time of major celebration or seasonal crosspoints in the calendar.  Indeed, dances of comparable form and dancers in similar costumes are found elsewhere in Europe and around the world, and may be thought to be part of the universal urge to influence and honor the unknowable forces which govern our lives.

One of the most colourful descriptions of morris was provided in the 15th century, by Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh, the Black Adder who said, "Morris dancing is the most fatuous, tenth-rate entertainment ever devised by man.  Fourty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they’ve just wiped their noses on.  How it’s still going on in this day and age I’ll never know."

Modern morris includes several different types of dance, all from different regions of England; Cotswold Morris from the south, Border Morris from the west, Molly Dancing from the southeast, and Northwest Morris from the northwest.  Other dance styles such as Longsword, Rapper (sword), Clog, and Garland are often included in the term "morris".

There are lots of ways to get more detail about Morris dancing, but the absolutely best way is to find a morris dancer, take them to a pub, offer them refreshment, and ask for the real story.  It’s guaranteed good luck, too!

---

So as I said to Ric when consulting him on edits to the Mayday Morris video, "first pint’s on me".  Having a heavy week with the book – stay tuned this week however, when the corrected video will be posted!!

I do enjoy marking the passages of the year-wheel with other kindred spirits. A riotous bit of good fun I have a great deal of fondness for is the annual Morris Maying at the Palo Alto, California, Baylands Nature Reserve. There’s a video below, but bear with me a second, some stage setting is in order.

We meet at 5:30am when it’s pitch dark, on the southern edge of the San Francisco Bay. Teams (called "sides") of Morris men (and women) dance up the sun and general frivolity and fun ensue. This ritual goes back at least 900 years in England, to judge from the radiocarbon dating of the reindeer horns used in the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance which leads off the festivities. Alas, it is far too dark to record the dance on video, so we made do with a historical slide show segeuing into the 2007 stills.

In our family’s tradition, the women stay up through the night making rose and flower crowns (which I always wear to the event) while the men cook us a scrumptious post-midnight repast. And of course, it’s considered de riguer to make love in the out of doors in the fields if possible (though it’s generally too cold). Traditionally, the morning’s dancing capped off a night of sympathetic magic ensuring bumper crops in the fields and encouraged the sun to rise to bestow its abundance upon the people.

Here are my videos and best recollection of the dance titles and personnel from May 1st, 2007. If I have made errors, I beg your forgiveness in advance. Contact me and I will be glad to amend the titling. The song sung at intro and outro is "Hal an Tow", a traditional Maying song that echoes the poignancy of the Horn Dance in its first verse:

Take no scorn, to wear the horns
It was the crest when you were born
Your father’s father wore it then,
Your father wore it too…

Needless to say, this verse is aimed at young men who, taking up their generation’s innovations, ’scorn’ what can seem to be the quaint antiqueries of their sires. Where does such a dance come from? While none truly know and the origins have been shrouded in the mists of time, my theory is that such a dance comes from the deer cults that existed in al primitive societies. Once England was covered from coast to coast with dense, impenetrable forests where the red deer reigned. Remember the caves at Lascaux and the pictures on their walls recounting the hunt? Many pictures of deer have been found all over Europe. The stag was a revered symbol of masculinity. Deer  and elk cults existed in native America and reindeer cults in northern Europe. All three of these animals are taxonomically related and their cults are among the strongest in terms of fertility, protection of the home and as symbols of masculinity. But enough of the lecture, you want to see the video.

This day, in May, 2007, the sun came up in fine fashion, cresting the top of the Diablo mountains to much hooting and huzzah-ing. See? Without us dancing the sun up, there’d be no crops this summer. I hope you’re properly grateful…  Enjoy!