Everyday Bliss For Women In Leadership

Three friends have passed from this life this week - two in Iraq, fighting people who, by their own admission, they had no quarrel with and were not their enemy. One at a hospital room in Rome, slowly sinking deeper and deeper into oblivion with a grace that defies belief. Still other friends, one in a resort on the West Coast of America and another at a hotel in Rangoon, search for the strength and
wisdom to keep living in times that to them, seem pointlessly cruel.

If this is your life, please go here to learn how to take exceptionally good care of yourself and soothe the feelings of grief and loss.  And as all good things are even more mellow in the fullness of time, it is again apropos to re-vist this classic 2003 observation…

Felicitations of the Afternoon Dear Hearts

Bees are buzzing lazily among the lemon blossoms. Hummingbirds
absentmindedly sup artificial nectar from the brass ‘n glass feeder,
entranced and flying slower than usual. The sun is warm overhead
there’s nothing to do for another ten minutes, and on this day people
are walking with Death and Choice all around me. War, suicide bombings,
friends in deep despair, dear ones with terminal illnesses aching to
grab a few more hours, days, minutes, choosing Life in the midst of
their own dying. Death and Choice are in the air like an unexpected
smell. Death is vogue, Choice is the Happening Thing. 

I am in the
center of it, breathing.

Have you ever been in that place before? Where
you are at the center of a maelstrom that you choose not to join, but
must somehow engage?

I am to the best of my ability, an impartial witness to people’s
lives around me - that’s what I do, that’s part of the value I offer
others. Sometimes impartiality is the only sane and logical place to
be, and sometimes the craziest, but the choice that makes the most
sense most of the time. Staying impartial as others struggle to
maintain their integrity and seek clarity isn’t easy, because I so want
them to succeed in whatever they do. But to take sides would invalidate
me as a fair witness to what is entirely their decision.

When others
dance with Death and Choice, they create maelstroms of instant karma
for those who engage with them. I try to dance free of these swirls. Mostly, I succeed. Sometimes I do not.

My life of the last few weeks has been
lived in snapshots:

Dani in the hospital, eyes haunted, with poison gushing into her
veins killing the overproliferating white blood cells - all of them. The dull, vacant hollowness in another friend’s voice on the phone
as she discusses her decision either to die, or keep trying at what she
feels has been a protractedly cruel life.

I want to hug everybody. I
want everything and everyone to be well, to be happy, to be healthy. I
want not to be the only one who sees a way through the mazes of other
people’s lives. I want everyone to see that true path for themselves…
I have worked smooth a path through my own life to float lightly in the
center - breathing. I pay attention to my breath, and the drum of my
heartbeat. Breath, and the drum of my heart, breathing me…breathing…

When I check my gut I know that to be completely fair to everyone, especially myself, I
cannot take sides. I wish everyone to live and be happy, but that
Choice is theirs to make. I choose to maintain impartiality and cast my
lot with Truth, which always wins in the end.

To be impartial, to stay in-Truth and in-the-Flow, I have discovered certain elements to be integral to success.
These I call my "Gospels" though there is certainly nothing of
formalized religion about them, save the invitation to a healthy
Spirituality. In no particular order, these Success Gospels
currently include (but are not limited to):

These are the minimum elements that must be present in order to tap
into the unified field where success in all ventures is possible. Not
one may be missing, nor given prominence over the others. They are all
equally important. There are more, but this is the minimum set.

I’ll leave you to chew on this. Feel free to tell me what you think
if you like by clicking the Comment link below. What of these are indispensible to you? Would you amend this list?
How?

Namasté….

I was reading CJ’s blog today and found her wonderful post about increasing awareness of all the time we really have in our lives. I commented, and as its relevant to all of you, am repeating, here:

…I was buying into what I now believe is the myth of "not enough time". That is one of the Scarcity Myths that most bedevil our culture. I think, as you point out with Zig Ziglar’s quote, that what we do with our time is strongly linked to our perception OF time, ruled by choice. Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that time is merely an illusion we have all agreed to participate in to order our world, and is subject to our shaping.

One of the challenges that I have taken up recently is to work progressively less, by one hour a day, and incrementing that each week, until stress relief is achieved. I now "work" four days a week, for eight and sometimes ten hours, by preference, with liberal lunches and breaks.

On only three of those four days, do I teach or see clients. I found I work much better using Day Four as an admin, marketing and product creation etc. day, where I can turn my extended focus on those activities exclusively. While I may do those things as-needed on the other days I work, I focus on them on Day Four, and have increased my productivity manyfold. As a consequence, I have much more leisure in my life, a three day weekend, and much MORE time for my family and other projects that interest me.

If anyone had told me this was possible at the outset of my coaching career, I would have said "Yeah, sure!" and walked away shaking my head thinking they were trying to scam me!  We truly do have to be *ready* for certain wisdom to sink in.

There are many things we can do to sculpt our lives into more heroic curves and folds. One of those things I believe is to first and foremostly be heroes in our own lives, by putting ourselves first, saying "no" more often and attending to our own energy needs as a prime directive. Not in a "bad selfish" way either - but in the most self-nurturing way possible…so we can be there in even more quality for others. Thank you CJ as always, for being such a wonderful exemplar!

The "4head Garden Grass Woman" at the Chelsea Flower Show London May 06

My word. I think the only thing that can be said is "Oh My Goddess!"

From: http://www.flickr.com/photos/69636928@N00/169828604

If you travel as much as I have been lately, you’ll want to check into the Free Frequent Flyer Miles website. Friend Gary has put together an amazing bonanza of sites offering free Frequent Flyer miles in various offer combinations - go check him out!  He also gives a nice listing of charitable giving sites as I have periodically posted here. Some new ones in this list, be sure to see all the rest of the info at Gary’s site…check these out though:

PovertyFighters.com.
Provides micro loans to help start tiny businesses in developing
countries. Two clicks per day permitted. There is also a college
competition in which you may participate. (But you don’t have to sign
up for this to contribute your 2 clicks per day.) I love this concept.
If this program does what it says it does, it is my favorite.

Care2.
Marine wetlands, rainforest, American prairie, oceans, big cats,
primates, pets in need, breast cancer, violence against women,
children. My link takes you to the first three. Use the tabs on top for
the others.

FreeDonation.com.
Stop Aids, Support the Arts, Defeat Cancer, Protect Environment,
Promote Education, For the Children, House the Homeless, End Hunger. My
link takes you to the Stop Aids page. Use the tabs to get to the rest.
Very quick.

Solar Site. They say that each click is converted to 1 Kw of solar energy.

EcologyFund.com.
Save rainforest, coastal habitat, and Wilderness, protect endangered
species, and reduce pollution. Click on a brown button. Click on an ad
on the page you get to increase the contribution. Then go back and
click on the next brown button.

The Rainforest Site.
Rainforests, Animal Rescue, Literacy, Breast Cancer, Child Health, and
Hunger. My link takes you to the Rainforest page. Use the tabs at the
top of the page to the other causes.

Ett klick för skogen. Old growth forest in Sweden.

The Stop HIV Site.

The Environment Site.org. Currently your clicks support the Surrey Wildlife Trust in England.

Land Care Niagra. Land Care Niagara is committed to creating a healthy and sustainable rural and urban environment in the Niagra, Ontario area.

The Sloan-Kettering Institute. Help the The Sloan-Kettering Institute conduct research to fight cancer.

Tree4Life. Help to plant a tree in the Brazilian Rainforest.

Red Jellyfish. Click to save rainforest and feed chimps. Also very nice e-cards.

In the April-May issue of Scientific American, Energy Therapies were not only included in a list of "Therapies to Avoid" but in fact headed that list. The below rebuttal letter from Karen Milstein appeared in Fred Gallo’s online Yahoo group, "Energym" and is reprinted here by permission. It stands as a good example of how all of us, clinicians, coaches, therapists and clients who have benefitted from energy change work, can proactively bring attention to the efficacy of Energy Coaching/Energy Psychology as a discipline and defend the methods we know work. Check it out:

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In your April-May issue of Scientific American Mind, under "Therapies to Avoid", you head the list with Energy Therapies. As a psychologist, I am all for accountability, research, and above all effective treatment. However, you’ve missed the boat this time. Energy Psychology is a relatively new field. There have already been articles published in prestigious, peer-reviewed journals.

These include a study by Steve Wells on Treating Small Rodent Phobias with EFT, published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003.  That work was subsequently extended and replicated by Harvey Baker. Jack Rowe has recently had his study on ‘The Effects of EFT on Long-Term Psychological Symptoms’ published in the Counseling and Clinical Psychology Journal, Vol. 2 #3, Sept. 2005.

For additional information I refer you to the following web address:

http://energypsych.org/research-overview-ep.php

It would make more sense to encourage research in an exciting young field which has helped many thousands of people with a wide range of problems, and has already started to do the necessary research, rather than to disparage that field. Let’s hear some more productive commentary.

Sincerely, Karen K. Milstein, PhD Santa Fe, NM

I am blessed and privileged to have the most amazing friend and business associates in my life. I was just talking to Andrea about how, as I have no living family, I have had the privilege of being able to create my own. I put a Strong Intention out to the Universe that I wanted the wisest, most creative, intelligent, loving, caring and sharing people to surround me at all times.

Before that, I was surrounded by an odd assortment of people who drained me and didn’t contribute very much to my life. Now, just a score or so of years later, I have people in it that truly nourish and provide amazing value to me on all ends of the scale. One such person is Andrea Lee. That’s her on the right in her pajamas, presenting to the Ecommerce for Coaches conference in what she calls "the suit I wear to work every day".  Is that integrity or what? Just one of the reasons I have what Andy calls a "professional crush" on this wonderful lady. And since mere prose won’t suffice to contain my enthusiasm:

An Ode To Andrea Lee* (follow-the-links to learn more)

Though she does not live In a kingdom by the sea You must meet the amazing Ms. Andrea Lee                            

If you coach for a living Her books are divine,                Her list converts thousands (I wish it were mine)

"Money AND Meaning!"             is her personal creed She puts cash into pockets Of the Coach who has need

If you have a Pink Spoon,        You’re well on your way Passive revenue soon Will be making your day

So get yourself over to M.S.O.C.I.                          Read, learn and profit from all who stop by

And be sure to pay your respects to Ms. A. If your biz is confusing, She’ll show you the way!

Thanks Andrea, for being a continual source of inspiration, relentless good cheer and amazing abundance!

(* with oblique apologies to Edgar Allan Poe. You can see his original here: http://www.bartleby.com/102/89.html)

I was on one of my regular reading runs through the blogs of friends and what Andy Wibbels calls "professional crushes" when I came across Andrea Lee’s post on travelling (we met up at her Power of Collaboration conference in New York a few weeks ago - such a fine time!) and the nature of rituals in our lives. I started a short little comment that turned into an essay I thought I’d repost here:

Blessings Andrea, What a beautiful essay here. So life-affirming - love the mendhi designs! When I was Muslim, many years ago, a bride would be hennaed from head to toe and all of her girlfriends would do their hands and feet as well, to "borrow the luck" of the bride. Group rituals such as this form the bedrock of culture.

Your comments on rituals got me to thinking. As a former spiritual circle leader, my life and those of people I coached in that community were all about rituals. Rituals for morning coffee, as well as the usual spirituality-based ones. Rituals bracketed our day - and there were rituals for every possible contingency that might happen during that day. Argue with your honey? There was a ritual for it. Burn the toast? A ritual. Apply for a new job? Another ritual. And I’m a card-carrying member of Curves myself - which is conveniently (or as part of a satanic plot, I can’t figure out which) located right next door to the Starbucks. And yep, a few times a week I treat myself to a venti iced decaf sugar-free vanilla Americano with extra room for a splash of half-’n-half (splash not to exceed two tablespoons!).

Rituals shape our lives. We wouldn’t know where we were or who we were without them. Joe Campbell says that while all animals practice ritualistic behavior, human beings are the only animals who need ritual to affirm identity. Alfred Korzybski observed that humans are the only animals who bind time, to ritualistically stop it, to preserve the moment. And this is where many of our clients get caught up - in memories of a gloried past or longings for a better future…while the present moment goes to heck in a handbag. Binding time is also one of the pitfalls in ritualistic behavior.

As I left that particular form of spiritual expression, I took comfort in the many personal rituals involved in my business, as I think many coaches do. Rituals such as lighting a candle or meditating before work can be so very helpful, but I notice they’re not the ones that make the most difference. What endures lies in the every day, that which is enjoined by others and repeated with regularity. Ritual expression of culture to a large degree, is communal. Coaching community culture is no exception.

Consider the following:

* The way we open coaching calls or in-person sessions is ritualistic, as are the ways in which we disengage and part company. I have a coach friend who says goodbye to clients exactly three times, in three different ways that always use the same verbiage. When asked, she’s said it’s to disengage "softly" to leave the client feeling well. It’s worthwhile to note she is a coach for Restorative clients. Those in other niches have completely different rituals for disengagement.

* The manner in which we relate to our clients is ritualistic - who knows coaches who are termed "ball breakers" or conversely, "nurturers"? Stereotypes such as these are observations of ritualistic behavior

* Our welcome packets or initial sets of coaching guidelines discussed in-session are expressions of ritual in and of themselves, and are a notification to the client not only of the rituals we will be engaging in with them, but also the ritualistic manner in which we prefer to communicate.

* The structure of the meat of the session itself takes on ritual overtones: first the welcome, then the celebration of wins, then what didn’t work and coaching on tightening up the process, goals tracking and checking benchmarks etc…one topic follows the next in pretty much similar format that forms our coaching "style".

Style, culture, blog posting, even making coffee - humans are never devoid of their rituals. Rituals enrich our lives and make us who we are. Birthing new ventures, the way we structure our partnerships - all a series of rituals and expressions of the sacred. It’s a blessing to notice that the sacred is never far away, only a turn of our attention. Which can be a ritual in and of itself.

Love and Blessings, Maryam Webster

PS: To share - my celebration song is Santana’s "Everything Is Goin’ Our Way"  It’s on the ole’ iPod on constant repeat some days…   

Singapore, Singapore (PRWEB) June 2, 2006 — Current evidence suggests that suffering from back pain can actually shrink your brain. This is worrying because back pain is a common health problem worldwide. Back pain affects up to two-thirds of the adult population annually, which alone causes huge losses due to days off from work and school. Managing back pain is more important than ever, not only because of its economic costs, but also because of the newly discovered negative effect it has on the brain.

The good news is that back pain research has shown that simple methods can be very effective in reducing back pain. Recent findings have established that acupressure, an ancient Chinese healing technique, is more effective than standard physical therapies in relieving back pain.

Acupressure uses the same points as acupuncture, but instead of needles, acupressure uses only the fingertips. Because acupressure is non-invasive, it is one of the safest healing techniques known. And because it is efficient, acupressure is recommended for pain relief by respected health institutions, such as the WHO.

Virpi Tervonen, of www.HomeBackPainAcupressure.com, explains how an ordinary back pain sufferer can easily self-manage his or her back pain symptoms using simple acupressure techniques.

"The benefits of back pain acupressure are tremendous and can bring almost instant relief to persons with back pain." says Virpi Tervonen, who herself has used acupressure to relieve her lower back pain, stiff neck, and to cure her sciatica when she first got the symptoms.

“I was lucky that I knew about acupressure and so I wasn’t caught in the painkiller trap. That’s why I want to share this remarkable knowledge to others at www.HomeBackPainAcupressure.com.” she continues.

References: Apkarian V. A. et al. (2004) Chronic Back Pain Is Associated with Decreased Prefrontal and Thalamic Gray Matter Density. J. Neurosci. 24: 10410-10415.

Li-Chen Hsieh L et al. (2006) Treatment of low back pain by acupressure and physical therapy: randomised controlled trial. BMJ 332: 696-700.

Maryam’s Comment: As a back pain sufferer of twenty years, I’d be a total simpleton by now if I hadn’t found Energy Therapies like EFT, ZPoint and TAT, not to mention Balance Yoga that teaches you to place your bones and muscles in right relation to each other so pain doesn’t happen in the first place. Ms. Terponen is selling a product above which is probably a really good one. But check out the free resources at the above websites first if you suffer from back pain. You’ll be glad you did!

Tim Rieker, a ZPoint energy therapy practitioner, has made his wonderful online database of ZPoint statements available to all practitioners, free of charge. The site doesn’t teach ZPoint, you can learn that from the creator, Grant Connolly here. Rieker’s database collates, stores and disburses various different kinds of ZPoint statements through a slick interface that even allows you to email yourself a pre-defined set to practice on. Sign up, log in and you can even post your own statements that you’ve found helpful.

You can set parameters by clearing statement, psychological reversal, affirmation, installation, decision, fill-in-the-blanks and other parameters. Also in the works is a module that will allow you to track your progress. What a wonderful resource. Thanks, Tim!

All available here: http://www.zpsdb.com/

Below is Gary Craig’s weekly EFT press release from his newsletter. I found this one particularly heartening as hayfever season rolls around. Click Here To Subscribe To The EFT Newsletter. You can also order Gary’s highly acclaimed EFT DVDs here. Link to the free EFT manual is below. Enjoy!

San Francisco, CA (PRWEB) — There may be no cure for the common cold but a new discovery promises drug-free relief from nasal congestion, scratchy, sore throat, runny nose and sneezing. Americans suffer an estimated one billion colds each year and miss 150 million work days annually. Most people rely on over-the-counter medication to relieve symptoms temporarily. But a technique that balances the body’s acupuncture meridian system provides relief from cold and flu symptoms by diminishing the effects of stress on the immune system.

Stanford trained engineer, Gary Craig originally developed Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to improve and shorten the psychotherapy process. EFT users soon reported a decrease in stress levels and an increase in overall well-being. They reported having fewer colds and allergies after treating stress conditions with EFT.

Craig explains, “as we received these kind of reports, we began targeting physical symptoms with EFT and the results were astounding. People quickly relieved symptoms like sore throats, coughs, nasal congestion. EFT even worked on chronic pain associated with migraines, arthritis and fibromyalgia.”

A study published in Psychosomatic Medicine reports that people experiencing negative emotions are more likely to become ill when exposed to a cold virus than people who generally experience positive emotions. Other studies link psychological stress to a compromised immune system, increasing susceptibility to cold viruses. Says Craig, “EFT effectively neutralizes the stress and unresolved emotional issues that are compromising the immune systems of Americans.”

Dr. Joseph Mercola, best-selling author and owner of the number one natural health website advocates, “if you are stressed please consider EFT, which is an amazingly effective tool to address the foundational and core reasons as to how the stress is impairing your immune system. I have been particularly impressed with its ability to improve the body’s immune response to infection immediately.”

Dr. Mercola taught EFT to a 9 year old patient who had been on antibiotics for a week for a raging sinus infection that wasn’t improving. Mercola says, “I taught her EFT and treated her in less than five minutes and 100% of her symptoms were gone. This work is absolutely amazing. I have also used EFT on colds and coughs in about six other people, including staff members with equally rapid and instant relief.”

EFT balances the acupuncture meridian system by combining gentle fingertip tapping on key points while focusing on physical or emotional issues. According to Craig, “it is used by people all over the world as an effective stress management tool. Now science is showing real evidence that negative emotions and stress compromise health. EFT is providing Americans with a means to become happier and healthier and to this end I have chosen to provide the EFT Manual free from the EFT website.”

Over 300,000 have downloaded Craig’s free training manual and another 10,000 download it each month. The official EFT Manual has been translated by volunteer practitioners into nine languages.

The EFT Manual explains the basics so that anyone can begin applying EFT right away. It can be freely downloaded at

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp